Smosh: The Movie Page #2

- Yeah. Ian.

- Yeah, I'm done delivering mail

to this house.

You want your mail? Oh, you want your mail.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Let me get you your mail.

Here's your mail. You want your mail?

- Oh!

- There's your mail.

You must want your package, too.

Here's your package.

From now on, you get your

mail at the post office.

Hey, what did you do to the mailman?

Nothing. Why?

You know what you did.

Seriously, man? Butt Massage Girl again?

She's my girlfriend and

she has a name, you know.

Oh, really? What is it?

I don't know, but I'm sure she has one.

You know nothing about that girl.

Uh, she likes butt massages. I know that.

What does her face look like?

Like a butt. I think.

Look, it doesn't matter. We're a thing.

Sure, our love is maybe a little

unconventional, but it's real.

Nice!

She really cares about me.

Dude, we got some letters here.

If it's from my grandma, check for Anthrax.

Dude, we got an invite to our

five-year high school reunion.

Really?

When is it?

It is...

tonight.

Cool.

You do realize what this means, right?

Free tacos?

Yeah, free tacos, but more importantly...

Anna Reed's probably gonna be there.

Ugh, Anna Reed? What is it

with you and this girl, man?

All right, fine.

Get it over with.

All throughout high school,

Anna Reed was the only girl

I'd dream about.

She was the girl of my dreams.

They'll buff our feet.

It's gonna be awesome.

You know, I was so awkward back then

I didn't know how to talk to girls.

Anthony.

Bye.

Hey.

Hi... hey...

What's up?

So, um, this weekend,

I'm doing the Moonwalk

for Ring Finger Largeasia.

I'm moonwalking 37 miles to

raise awareness for people

whose ring finger is longer

than their pointer finger.

It's a very important cause

and one that's dear to my heart,

because, see, my Uncle

Keith, he died of it.

Jesus, that's...

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Would you wanna sponsor me?

Uh, um...

I mean, if you can't because of the money,

that's totally fine.

No, no, I have a ton of money.

Oh, great!

Actually, that's a lie. I don't...

I only have 5 bucks and

that's my porn money...

corn money!

That's my corn money.

Oh, well, that's okay.

Um, maybe you could just join me

and we could moonwalk together.

I could use the moral support.

It's probably gonna take

me a couple of weeks.

37 miles, you said?

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do it.

You will?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Amazing!

Cool.

- Whoa!

- Oh!

Dude, seriously?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then you wussed out and you

never showed up to the Moonwalk.

Dude, I've heard this

story a million times.

What's your point?

That this reunion is

the perfect opportunity

to make Anna forget about how big of losers

we used to be, you know,

show her how cool we are now?

Are we cooler now than

we were in high school?

Uh, $25 haircut, dude.

Here, I need to check the reunion page

to see if Anna's going.

It says to dress for mall.

We dress for the mall every day.

No, it's saying "dress formal. "

It means we have to rent tuxedos.

Yeah, I know that.

Oh, well, guess she's not going.

So, about the tux rentals, we

should probably get on that.

It doesn't say that, okay?

She's going. She just hasn't replied yet.

Okay? I can feel it.

Look, someone posted a video on here.

Have you thought about

life insurance lately?

Because here at All-Chafe,

we want to protect your family

from your impending death.

Ugh, I hate advertisements. Skip it.

If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,

there's a good chance your

entire family will be dead

by next week.

Buffering?

That still exists?

Everybody put your hands together.

Whoo-hoo!

Is Magic Pocket Slave

Monsters the best song ever?

Dude, that's you. Cool!

Anna Reed, get up here,

get up here, Anna Reed.

Right there. I really want you to see this.

Hit it, Mr. Ellis!

I wanna be the master

I wanna flip the switch

Dude, that's awesome, you're...

You're, like, doing

flips and stuff, kind of.

Whoa!

My butt!

Oh, no. God, I can't believe

this is happening to me right now.

Well, I mean, it's not

happening to you right now.

It happened five years ago.

Look at the views. There's 301 views.

That's like the entire attendance

of a football stadium.

You know, in a small town

with a high school team

whose record is, like, five and five,

and they're not terrible,

but they're not great,

and they're losing a lot of close games...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it.

If Anna sees this video,

it's gonna remind her

about how much of a loser I used to be.

And the fact that I'm

super-cool now won't even matter.

I can't go to this reunion now.

I have to stay here at home

and never know if kissing Anna

really feels like licking a wet donut.

All right, dude, if you

don't go, I don't go.

Mostly 'cause I don't have a car.

And will it hurt to miss out on free tacos?

Sure it will.

Like a son of a b*tch.

But you're my best friend,

and I got your back.

- Thanks.

- Okay, we're not giving up yet.

Anna Reed hasn't replied

to the invite yet, right?

So, she probably hasn't been to the page.

She probably hasn't even seen the video.

You're right. So all we have to do is...

- Is go to the reunion.

- go and get the video removed

from YouTube before Anna sees the video.

What?

Thank you for calling

YouTube. This is Stephanie.

How may I direct your call?

Hi, Stephanie. My name is Anthony Padilla,

and I have a very important

issue I'd like your help with.

I need a video removed and

never shown on your website

ever again.

Okay. Are you a rich

and powerful corporation

that can threaten us with legal action?

- No.

- Then I can't help you.

Good-bye.

Didn't work.

Well, that doesn't really matter, dude.

The video's awesome.

It won't be awesome when Anna sees it.

I think I have an idea.

This is never gonna work.

If you want something done right,

you just talk to the right people.

And you got to look them

dead in the eye and beg.

Hey, do me a favor, let

me do all the talking.

Okay? Your people skills are terrible.

What are you talking about?

I have amazing people skills

Oh, let me get that.

Ah!

- Oh!

- Ah! Aah!

I am so glad that happened.

That was the funniest

thing I've seen all day.

Good day, sir. Good day, sir.

I did that. I did that.

Hi there, darling.

I am a very important, big,

rich CEO of a powerful company.

And I am his boss.

Well, now, Ian, a CEO

does not have a boss, okay?

I beg to differ, Anthony,

because I am the CFO

and that's one letter higher than CEO.

Well, Ian, you must've misheard me,

because I'm actually the CEOO,

which has one more letter,

so it's more important.

Hey! It's you.

I know you.

You're the kid from that crazy video

You're the Backflip Microphone Guy!

It's the guy! This guy. You know it.

She got it. She knows what it is.

Okay, that's actually why we're here.

Okay, I have a question for you.

When you regained consciousness,

and you fell off the stage

and you landed on the mic,

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