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Smosh: The Movie Page #2
- Yeah. Ian.
- Yeah, I'm done delivering mail
to this house.
You want your mail? Oh, you want your mail.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Let me get you your mail.
Here's your mail. You want your mail?
- Oh!
- There's your mail.
You must want your package, too.
Here's your package.
From now on, you get your
mail at the post office.
Hey, what did you do to the mailman?
Nothing. Why?
You know what you did.
Seriously, man? Butt Massage Girl again?
She's my girlfriend and
she has a name, you know.
Oh, really? What is it?
I don't know, but I'm sure she has one.
You know nothing about that girl.
Uh, she likes butt massages. I know that.
What does her face look like?
Like a butt. I think.
Look, it doesn't matter. We're a thing.
Sure, our love is maybe a little
unconventional, but it's real.
Nice!
Dude, we got some letters here.
If it's from my grandma, check for Anthrax.
Dude, we got an invite to our
five-year high school reunion.
Really?
When is it?
It is...
tonight.
Cool.
You do realize what this means, right?
Free tacos?
Yeah, free tacos, but more importantly...
Anna Reed's probably gonna be there.
Ugh, Anna Reed? What is it
with you and this girl, man?
All right, fine.
Get it over with.
All throughout high school,
Anna Reed was the only girl
I'd dream about.
She was the girl of my dreams.
They'll buff our feet.
It's gonna be awesome.
You know, I was so awkward back then
I didn't know how to talk to girls.
Anthony.
Bye.
Hey.
Hi... hey...
What's up?
So, um, this weekend,
I'm doing the Moonwalk
for Ring Finger Largeasia.
I'm moonwalking 37 miles to
raise awareness for people
whose ring finger is longer
It's a very important cause
and one that's dear to my heart,
because, see, my Uncle
Keith, he died of it.
Jesus, that's...
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Uh, um...
I mean, if you can't because of the money,
that's totally fine.
No, no, I have a ton of money.
Oh, great!
Actually, that's a lie. I don't...
I only have 5 bucks and
that's my porn money...
corn money!
That's my corn money.
Oh, well, that's okay.
Um, maybe you could just join me
and we could moonwalk together.
I could use the moral support.
me a couple of weeks.
37 miles, you said?
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do it.
You will?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Amazing!
Cool.
- Whoa!
- Oh!
Dude, seriously?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then you wussed out and you
never showed up to the Moonwalk.
Dude, I've heard this
story a million times.
What's your point?
That this reunion is
the perfect opportunity
to make Anna forget about how big of losers
we used to be, you know,
show her how cool we are now?
Are we cooler now than
we were in high school?
Uh, $25 haircut, dude.
Here, I need to check the reunion page
to see if Anna's going.
It says to dress for mall.
We dress for the mall every day.
No, it's saying "dress formal. "
It means we have to rent tuxedos.
Yeah, I know that.
Oh, well, guess she's not going.
So, about the tux rentals, we
should probably get on that.
It doesn't say that, okay?
She's going. She just hasn't replied yet.
Okay? I can feel it.
Look, someone posted a video on here.
Have you thought about
life insurance lately?
Because here at All-Chafe,
we want to protect your family
from your impending death.
Ugh, I hate advertisements. Skip it.
If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,
there's a good chance your
entire family will be dead
by next week.
Buffering?
That still exists?
Everybody put your hands together.
Whoo-hoo!
Monsters the best song ever?
Dude, that's you. Cool!
Anna Reed, get up here,
get up here, Anna Reed.
Right there. I really want you to see this.
Hit it, Mr. Ellis!
I wanna be the master
I wanna flip the switch
Dude, that's awesome, you're...
You're, like, doing
flips and stuff, kind of.
Whoa!
My butt!
Oh, no. God, I can't believe
this is happening to me right now.
Well, I mean, it's not
happening to you right now.
Look at the views. There's 301 views.
That's like the entire attendance
of a football stadium.
You know, in a small town
with a high school team
whose record is, like, five and five,
and they're not terrible,
but they're not great,
and they're losing a lot of close games...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it.
If Anna sees this video,
about how much of a loser I used to be.
And the fact that I'm
super-cool now won't even matter.
I can't go to this reunion now.
I have to stay here at home
and never know if kissing Anna
really feels like licking a wet donut.
All right, dude, if you
don't go, I don't go.
Mostly 'cause I don't have a car.
And will it hurt to miss out on free tacos?
Sure it will.
Like a son of a b*tch.
But you're my best friend,
and I got your back.
- Thanks.
- Okay, we're not giving up yet.
Anna Reed hasn't replied
to the invite yet, right?
So, she probably hasn't been to the page.
She probably hasn't even seen the video.
You're right. So all we have to do is...
- Is go to the reunion.
- go and get the video removed
from YouTube before Anna sees the video.
What?
Thank you for calling
YouTube. This is Stephanie.
How may I direct your call?
Hi, Stephanie. My name is Anthony Padilla,
and I have a very important
issue I'd like your help with.
never shown on your website
ever again.
Okay. Are you a rich
and powerful corporation
that can threaten us with legal action?
- No.
- Then I can't help you.
Good-bye.
Didn't work.
Well, that doesn't really matter, dude.
The video's awesome.
It won't be awesome when Anna sees it.
I think I have an idea.
If you want something done right,
you just talk to the right people.
And you got to look them
dead in the eye and beg.
Hey, do me a favor, let
me do all the talking.
Okay? Your people skills are terrible.
What are you talking about?
Oh, let me get that.
Ah!
- Oh!
- Ah! Aah!
I am so glad that happened.
That was the funniest
thing I've seen all day.
Good day, sir. Good day, sir.
I did that. I did that.
Hi there, darling.
I am a very important, big,
rich CEO of a powerful company.
And I am his boss.
Well, now, Ian, a CEO
does not have a boss, okay?
I beg to differ, Anthony,
because I am the CFO
and that's one letter higher than CEO.
Well, Ian, you must've misheard me,
because I'm actually the CEOO,
which has one more letter,
so it's more important.
Hey! It's you.
I know you.
You're the kid from that crazy video
You're the Backflip Microphone Guy!
It's the guy! This guy. You know it.
She got it. She knows what it is.
Okay, that's actually why we're here.
Okay, I have a question for you.
When you regained consciousness,
and you fell off the stage
and you landed on the mic,
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"Smosh: The Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/smosh:_the_movie_18347>.
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