Smosh: The Movie Page #3

did the whole thing go up your ass?

Or was it some sort of, like,

special effects wizardry?

Okay, can we just keep it down, please?

Okay, 'cause I was watching

with my husband... Sorry, taken.

And he was like, "Where'd

the microphone go?"

And I was like, "I think

it's in that boy's ass. "

Okay, that's enough, okay?

You will not take that tone with me.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Okay? It's just that my friend and I

have a very important

issue we need to discuss.

It's a matter we'd like to take up directly

with the CEO of this establishment,

if you don't mind.

So, is Mr. YouTube available

to see us right now?

Mr. YouTube?

Yup, we're going straight to the top.

Okay, first of all, the CEO of YouTube

is not just gonna sit down

with two random guys off the street.

And even if he did, I'm pretty sure

the guy's name is not "Mr. YouTube. "

Mr. YouTube will see you now.

His office is just at

the end of that hallway.

Really?

I don't care what Billy Snapchat says.

Billy Snapchat is a little b*tch.

I'm Steve YouTube. What I say goes.

No, I had lunch with Sally Instagram

three days ago.

She and Roger Facebook are in.

Now, if you don't want

to get on board with this,

then you are a stupid jerk idiot.

Sorry for the French.

All right, I got to go.

I've got two random guys in my office

I've never met before, and

they need something from me.

And I can't keep them waiting.

Good-bye.

Good-bye!

Sorry about that.

That was Ted Google.

Guy's been a pain in my butt

ever since he bought my company.

Hi. Steve YouTube. Pleasure to meet you.

- Hi.

- I don't touch. I don't touch.

I'm Ian and this is...

Backflip Microphone Guy!

Dude, that is one of my

all-time favorite videos.

What can I do for you guys?

Well, Mr. YouTube...

Oh, no, no, no. Please.

Call me Steve. YouTube.

Call me Steve YouTube.

Okay. So, Steve YouTube,

I need that thing...

- Awesome video.

- Shh.

I need that thing that you mentioned...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the video.

- Hilarious, right?

- Hilarious.

Shut... uuuup.

Okay, so, yeah, I need that video removed

from your website, please.

Ah, yes, yeah.

I got to be honest with you guys.

This thing... this kind

of thing happens more

than you would imagine.

Not the microphone thing.

But the embarrassment thing.

And here's the problem.

Once a video is uploaded to the

Internet, it's there forever.

Your best bet is to actually

go into YouTube itself

and change the video from the inside.

So you mean, like, go into YouTube,

like, Tron-style?

No, you're messing with us, right?

- There's... you... what is this?

- Yeah, that's not...

- That's not possible.

- That doesn't sound possible.

Hey, guys, I'm Steve Friggin' YouTube.

If I say you can get up inside YouTube,

then you can get up inside YouTube.

I did not mean for that to

sound sexual. I apologize.

What I should have said is, if

you wanna penetrate YouTube...

That was worse. You know what?

Forget it. My point is this.

I have to do this kind of

thing for people all the time.

You guys remember Gangnam style?

Do you remember that video by that...

I think it was a Puerto Rican guy?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah.

Well, you think Psy nailed

that video on the first take?

Nope. I actually think I have

the original video right here.

Check it out.

Hey, sexy lady

Up, up, up

Up, oh

Gangnam style

It's so bad.

Right? I mean, there's

not even a dancing horse.

How hard is it to get a horse to dance?

Probably not that hard.

It's very hard.

No, no, no, this is

perfect. This is perfect.

So how do we, uh, get inside

YouTube to fix our video?

Great question. Simple answer.

There's actually a portal

right under my desk.

- A portal?

- That doesn't sound right.

This, um, this doesn't seem safe.

Guys, it's me, Steve, YouTube.

Steve YouTube.

If I say there's a portal under my desk

that will get you into YouTube,

there's a portal under my desk.

It just kind of seems like, you

know, we might crawl down there,

and you might have your

wiener out or, some...

- Excuse me?

- Definitely your wiener.

Excuse me.

I don't know what kind of

meeting you thought this was.

Frankly, I find that suggestion offensive.

I'm Steve YouTube. I created all of this.

You think I would jeopardize

that by putting my,

what did you say, "wiener" out?

I don't think so. Now, look, I'm very busy.

You guys can see yourselves

out. If you don't wanna change

the video, you don't

wanna change the video.

Janice, get me Bethany

MySpace on the phone, please.

No, no, no I... It's

cool. We're gonna do it.

We're gonna change our video.

- Yeah, just crawl...

- Really?

- All right.

- Yeah, go right around

- the desk and crawl under.

- Let's do it, man.

And go to the portal.

- Whoa!

- Oh my...

- What?

- Dude!

That!

- Damn it! Put it away!

- Oh! That's not...

You thought there was

a portal under my desk,

and you saw my wiener.

That is the best joke ever.

So there's no portal, then.

You're just messing with us.

Of course there's a portal.

But it's not under my desk, you morons.

It's behind my closet door.

- Go on.

- Okay.

Yeah, it's just right there. Go on in.

Um, yeah, this doesn't

feel very safe either.

Guys, I had my fun,

okay, but fun time's over.

Not everything in life is a wiener joke.

Holy sh*t!

- Whoo!

- Whoa!

Take these.

What do we do with these?

Gentlemen, meet Diri.

She'll be your guide

once you're on the inside.

Hello, Ian. Hello Anthony.

I hope I can be of service to you both.

Wait, her name is "Diri"?

That's right. She's a

personal assistant software.

- So she's like Siri?

- Hey. Hey.

We don't draw that comparison here.

- You understand me?

- It's just that...

Hey, Bieber, you understand me?

Diri and Siri, it's kind of...

It's... it does kind of sound similar.

People are gonna draw the conclusions.

- It sounds...

- I'm gonna have my R&D team

take a look at that. Now listen to me.

Diri is gonna be your guide

once you get through that portal.

Anyplace you need to go, you tell Diri,

she will take you there.

Like, Siri.

Okay. Cool. Cool-cool.

All right. Safe travels, gentlemen.

You sure you want to do this?

Yeah. If I don't do this,

I'll never be anything to Anna.

All right. I'm with you.

- Ready?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- B.

- F.

F. Let's go.

Let's do it.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

- Let's do this.

- You first.

Good luck!

What the hell is this, dude?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, man.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Look out below!

Whoo! Whoo!

Did we do it?

Are we in YouTube?

I don't know. It doesn't

really feel like YouTube.

Have you thought about

life insurance lately?

'Cause here at All-Chafe,

we wanna protect your family

from your impending death.

Yup, we're definitely in YouTube.

It's this friggin' advertisement.

If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,

- there's a good chance...

- Diri,

can we skip this ad, please?

Sure. Let me help you with that.

Uh, yeah, Diri, could

you also go full screen?

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