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Smosh: The Movie Page #8
and I actually have a
really big tip for you, too.
- You do?
- I do.
It's actually right inside this pizza box.
- Okay.
- No, Mom, don't look! Don't...
- Oh.
- Yeah.
That's funny. Funny.
Yeah, I think it's time for you to go now.
Well, enjoy your pizza.
I'm the best! "Steve
"You-too-bay," out!
Okay. Well, he seemed lovely.
I gotta say, rich or
poor, that man really does
commit to the wiener joke.
You have to respect that
on some level.
Oh, our limo's here.
Oh, well I guess we
better get dressed then.
Mm, mm, yes,
Alfred, please fetch us your finest wares.
Yes, Alfred, get me my tuxedo.
My name is Frank.
Ta-ta, gov'ner.
Our accents are so good.
Alfredo, can you fetch me some quesadillas?
- Ah, ha ha ha.
- Alfredo.
Yeah
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a warm
Rockville High "welcome back"
to our rich and famous alumni...
- Get off the stage!
- Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla!
Yeah. What's up?
- Yo, yo.
- Yo, good to see you.
Good to see you. Good to see you guys.
Get outta here, Moss.
Bros!
So great to have you here.
So great!
Thanks.
Anything you need, just let me know.
I'm emceeing this little shindig.
We got a free taco bar over there,
so help yourself to whatever.
- Thanks, Mr. Ellis.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Nice!
Tonight is gonna rock.
Yeah.
It's gonna rock balls! Whoo!
Anna's here.
Go get her, man. Go on.
I was a stranger and you let me in
Um, Butt Massage Girl and I are
gonna go start on that taco bar.
Hey, Anna. What's up?
Oh. Anthony.
Yeah, it's me.
I didn't think I'd see you here tonight.
Why not?
You know, you're rich and famous now.
Figured you'd have better things to do.
Well, I mean, yeah, I
do have a ton of cool,
rich, expensive stuff I could be doing,
but wanted to show up and see you.
Me? Why?
Um...
tell you that I love you too.
You came here to tell me you love YouTube?
No, no, no, no, I love you also.
I know you love me, and I love you,
and I've loved you ever since
the first time I saw you.
Hold on.
Love you?
Yeah, I saw your... I saw
your vlog, you love me.
Anthony, that was a long time ago.
You were a different guy then.
Yeah, I was a loser.
But I'm not anymore.
No. You were never a loser.
You were just... weird and quirky
and only showered, like, once a week,
but I liked that about
you. It was like you had
than your looks and basic hygiene.
And now, you're like a guy who would spend
$80 on a haircut.
Look, I'm still the same guy, I swear.
Anthony, you're wearing a tuxedo.
I wore this tux 'cause I
thought it's what you wanted.
I'm sorry. It's just not.
Mmm. I don't know why I'm eating tacos.
They go straight to my butt.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's horrible, right? Terrible.
Hey.
So? How'd it go?
Well... I blew it.
What?
Yeah, she liked the old me, the loser me.
Mm.
I'm sorry, man, I dragged you
through all this for nothing.
Hold on, man. You made my dreams come true.
Look, I am dating Butt Massage Girl.
- I have a name, you know.
- N-n-n... don't.
Don't ruin the moment.
Yes, we're rich and
famous, but the real you
is still in there, just as stupid as ever.
And, on a long enough timeline,
all $85 haircuts become $10 haircuts
if you let them grow out long enough.
You're right.
Of course I'm right.
I'm always right, right?
- You're always right.
- Yeah.
You can do this, Anthony.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who here loves The Deadmau5?
Boom.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our rich and famous
alumni, Anthony Padilla,
has a song he'd like to perform,
and since he's rich and famous,
whatever he wants here tonight.
Let's get ready to rock balls to
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
That's my friend up there.
That's his friend.
This song goes out to a very special lady
out here in the crowd tonight.
You rock, Anthony!
Take it off! Take it off!
Hit it, Mr. Ellis.
I want to be the master
I want to flip the switch
Whoa!
I want...
I did the flip.
- He did the flip.
- He did the flip!
I did the flip!
You should be up there with him.
You're right.
Rock balls!
I want to capture all these guys
And make each one my b*tch
I want to travel everywhere
Any chance I see
I'll rip a pocket slave monster
From his family
You now work for me
Even worse, you work for free
You'd better fight when I call
Or I'll castrate your balls
Get back in your cube or
I'll kill everyone you love
I'm a heartless dick
You're crazy.
See, I told you.
How do I know this is real? How do I know
you're not just showing
me what I want to see?
Well, you're just gonna
have to trust me, Anna.
Wh... wh... whoa!
Aah!
Dude, I think he's gonna be okay.
Wh... wh... whoa! Oh!
Nope, he's dead.
Oh, my God, call the police!
It really is you.
I'll never pay more than
$10 for a haircut again.
Promise?
Oh!
Oh!
- I'm so proud of you.
- Wasn't I so good?
- You were so good.
- I'm so good at dancing.
You were so good.
Anna Reed's in the house, y'all!
Hi, I'm Anna.
Nice to meet you. My name's Brad.
What the f***?
What... what
Okay, do it again.
And...
Bleah!
M.C. Hammer time.
And, action!
I know it hurts
Cut. Get that mask off.
I know it hurts so bad
Yeah, yeah, my nipples are
Puttin' in a few hours at the gym.
I'll be the CEO of Pizza
Co., rollin' in the dough.
Yeah. Yeah, that was a pun.
CEO Anthony.
Right from the top rope.
Damn, I've never done it
in the top rope, that's why I'm
having a hard time with that.
- All right, here we go.
- And...
- Oh! I'm giving birth!
- Aah!
- I'm giving birth!
- Oh!
That was really early.
all these cute, adorable,
fuzzy creaters?
I said "creaters. " What's a creater?
Cut.
Just do the other guy's
line... do Ian's line?
Yeah.
"The other guy"?
- Sorry.
- "The other guy"?
It slipped out. It slipped out.
I'm out.
- You're the other guy.
- I'm the other guy.
I'm "the guy" and he's "the other guy. "
Yeah.
One, two, three, four
I can see a picture in my
head of someone spinning
the end of the beginning
When you coming over here?
There's no need for pretending
I try not to be callous
With the signals
that you're sending
I go, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl
To put an end to what you saw, girl
Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl
Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl
To put an end to what you saw, girl
I was a stranger when you let me in
I was a danger to myself and others
If I had a nickel
every time I heard
burning out of my world
Say oh
You hurt me on the radio
Couldn't let the feelings show
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"Smosh: The Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/smosh:_the_movie_18347>.
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