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Smosh: The Movie Page #7
Come on.
And we're gonna fall in real love, okay?
And maybe one day, I'll be
the one to massage that booty.
I'd like that very much, Ian.
Hoo hoo hah hah hah! Hoo hoo hah hah hah!
get ride of me and YouTube?
I am YouTube, literally.
Hey, everybody.
actually watch my stupid vlogs.
Tonight is graduation night.
I love you, Anna, and we'll be together
some day, I promise.
If you want the best
taste you've ever seen,
go out and get yourself
and that's the bottom...
- Ooh!
- Ugh.
So sorry, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
I love you too.
And your ice cream name
is really confusing.
Stone Cold Stun her ass, man.
I love that guy.
Dude!
Why was this video in your viewing history?
Sickos.
Get us... no, no!
All right, look.
All I'm saying is that if you're a guy,
right, and you're...
Aw, watch the furniture!
Oh, hi, Jenna.
I think it's so hot that
there are two of you,
and that you're never getting out of here,
and that you're mine forever!
Screw you, Steve.
All right, you two.
I think we've had enough fun for one day.
Time to end this.
There it is.
Oh, shoot. Got it.
Die, stupid humans, die.
Oh, crap.
Dude, what the hell happened?
The video's buffering.
Ugh, see? This is one of my pet peeves.
It's 2014. Why is there still buffering?
Why hasn't this issue just
It's an issue with the
bandwidth, it's complicated.
Let me see what I can do.
Janice? Are you streaming videos?
Can you turn off your AOL for a second?
I'm having buffering problems.
Aw, man, you're making it worse.
Don't get all bitchy with me.
I was just about to get
you guys with a chainsaw.
No, you weren't.
Yeah, we were just about
to jump to the next video,
there's no way you would
have gotten us in time.
Wait until this thing stops buffering,
and I will show you jerks.
And still no one cares this gorilla
can operate a chainsaw.
Awesome!
That's it. I'm coming in after you jerks.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Dude, the portal!
Come on!
- We're gonna make it.
- Oh, are you?
Steve, it's over, just let us pass.
Nothing's over till I say it's over.
I'm Steve. YouTube... I'm Steve YouTube.
I win, you lose!
Maybe if you two weren't
jackasses out of yourselves,
I wouldn't have even
wanted you so bad.
We were so close.
You were so easy to manipulate,
Backflip Microphone Guy.
Steve, look behind you.
No. Not gonna fall for that one.
He's serious.
Steve, listen!
No, you listen.
Aah!
- Oh!
- Oh, my... holy...
Oh, my... holy...
Oh!
The bear!
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
Oh, my...
What the fudd... oh! God!
Come on, dude, we gotta go.
- Aah!
- Aah!
Oh!
We made it. We made it, man.
Aw, man. That was a close one.
He almost had us. Stranger danger, bro.
Sometimes we forget.
It was my fault, and I never should have
made us go in there in the first place.
It wasn't worth almost losing my hetero
life partner over.
What? You'd never lose me.
And I'm sorry I was such a dick.
It'll never happen again. All right?
B...
- F.
- F.
BFFs.
- What?
Dude, that's not what that means.
- It's not?
- No.
Big fat feet?
No, that's... that...
you're not even close, dude.
Oh!
Aw!
Oh, I've got it. Booger flicking friends.
No.
Hey, it's them.
Ma'am, I'm really sorry, but we had to let
that bear eat Steve.
He was kind of a dick. Run!
What the hell are you talking about?
Whoa!
Aah!
Come on! Ah!
It's only, uh...
6:
19, so we still have timeto go home, change, and make the reunion.
Where's your car?
Uh, it... it was right there.
It must have gotten towed.
Yeah, great.
You are the worst at parking.
We won't ever let you go
Can't take anymore
I'm under control
Uh, why are we stopped
here? This isn't our house.
Uh, yeah it is, man, it says
right there on the mailbox,
91 Gerard Way.
What?
This is our address.
Hello?
Leave the door open in case we have to run.
And grab something really sharp.
Ah.
Yeah.
That's literally the opposite of sharp.
There you are!
Why aren't you dressed?
You're gonna be late for the reunion.
Butt Massage Girl? What are you doing here?
For the last time, you're my boyfriend,
and you should call me by
my real name, which is...
Shh!
I'm your boyfriend?
She's real, dude.
Ian, did you hit your head?
Wait, if this is our house,
where'd we get the money?
Are you serious?
What?
Oh, my God. Are you guys on drugs?
I'm drunk in love.
This video of you guys
became the biggest
YouTube video of all time,
Then you got the TV show,
then you met the President,
then you made the movie,
and now there's even
on Broadway.
Broadway... that's always been my dream.
- We did it, man.
- Yeah.
with that single video.
And I'm your boyfriend.
Like, for real, that's not a joke?
It's not a joke.
Wait, that means Anna...
that means Anna's here too, right?
Anna! Anna, where are you?
Who's Anna?
My girlfriend, Anna Reed.
You don't have a girlfriend.
I don't?
You have like, 30.
- Nice!
- Oh, my God, these...
These are all my girlfriends?
This is not a joke?
These are all for me? These are all...
Oh, my God, these are all my girlfriends.
You're all my girl... you're my...
You're my girlfr... You're my girlfriend?
- Oh, my God!
- They're your girlfriends!
Wait, is Anna one of... Is Anna...
Anna? Anna, are you...
are you one of them? Anna?
Uh, I don't think there's an Anna in there,
but your girlfriends
don't usually talk to me.
They're just super-hot bimbos.
Nice.
Wait, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
Anna's the only one I
want. I'm sorry, girls.
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Bye.
The reunion.
I can still see Anna at the reunion,
and I'm like, cool now,
like, actually cool.
And rich.
And famous. Let's go.
Hi, boys. Don't forget your tuxedos.
Man! We're rich and famous
but we still live with my parents?
Of course not, don't be ridiculous.
No, we live with you.
Sweet.
Wait, who are these guys?
They're our butlers.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Oh, this is your personal hair stylist.
How much does she charge for a haircut?
Make it $85 and you've got yourself a deal.
Oh, that must be the pizza.
Pizza?
Bavooki's Pizza.
Aah!
Oh. Awesome kick, bro. Wow.
Hold on, you're Steve YouTube, right?
It's pronounced
"You-too-bay. "
But you're the CEO of YouTube.
No, I'm not. I do food distribution
for a multi-million dollar company.
Hmm. Wonder who the CEO of YouTube is now.
I don't give a sh*t
Julian Twitter's
- a little b*tch!
- Yes, ma'am.
Hey, you can tell Joey Amazon
that I ordered my scrunchies two weeks ago.
- Sorry, ma'am.
- Next day shipping, my ass!
I am so sorry for all the trouble,
Mr. Pizza Delivery Man. Here's
a really big tip for you.
Oh, well, thank you so much,
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"Smosh: The Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/smosh:_the_movie_18347>.
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