Smosh: The Movie Page #7

Come on.

And we're gonna fall in real love, okay?

And maybe one day, I'll be

the one to massage that booty.

I'd like that very much, Ian.

Hoo hoo hah hah hah! Hoo hoo hah hah hah!

You idiots think you can

get ride of me and YouTube?

I am YouTube, literally.

Hey, everybody.

Or, the three people that

actually watch my stupid vlogs.

Tonight is graduation night.

I love you, Anna, and we'll be together

some day, I promise.

If you want the best

taste you've ever seen,

go out and get yourself

some Stone Cold Creamy Cream

and that's the bottom...

- Ooh!

- Ugh.

So sorry, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

I love you too.

And your ice cream name

is really confusing.

Stone Cold Stun her ass, man.

I love that guy.

Dude!

Why was this video in your viewing history?

Sickos.

Get us... no, no!

All right, look.

All I'm saying is that if you're a guy,

right, and you're...

Aw, watch the furniture!

Oh, hi, Jenna.

I think it's so hot that

there are two of you,

and that you're never getting out of here,

and that you're mine forever!

Screw you, Steve.

All right, you two.

I think we've had enough fun for one day.

Time to end this.

There it is.

Oh, shoot. Got it.

Die, stupid humans, die.

Oh, crap.

Dude, what the hell happened?

The video's buffering.

Ugh, see? This is one of my pet peeves.

It's 2014. Why is there still buffering?

Why hasn't this issue just

been resolved years ago?

It's an issue with the

bandwidth, it's complicated.

Let me see what I can do.

Janice? Are you streaming videos?

Can you turn off your AOL for a second?

I'm having buffering problems.

Aw, man, you're making it worse.

Don't get all bitchy with me.

I was just about to get

you guys with a chainsaw.

No, you weren't.

Yeah, we were just about

to jump to the next video,

there's no way you would

have gotten us in time.

Wait until this thing stops buffering,

and I will show you jerks.

And still no one cares this gorilla

can operate a chainsaw.

Awesome!

That's it. I'm coming in after you jerks.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Dude, the portal!

Come on!

- We're gonna make it.

- Oh, are you?

Steve, it's over, just let us pass.

Nothing's over till I say it's over.

I'm Steve. YouTube... I'm Steve YouTube.

I win, you lose!

Maybe if you two weren't

so great at making complete

jackasses out of yourselves,

I wouldn't have even

wanted you so bad.

We were so close.

You were so easy to manipulate,

Backflip Microphone Guy.

Steve, look behind you.

No. Not gonna fall for that one.

He's serious.

Steve, listen!

No, you listen.

Aah!

- Oh!

- Oh, my... holy...

Oh, my... holy...

Oh!

The bear!

- Oh, my God!

- Oh!

Oh, my...

What the fudd... oh! God!

Come on, dude, we gotta go.

- Aah!

- Aah!

Oh!

We made it. We made it, man.

Aw, man. That was a close one.

He almost had us. Stranger danger, bro.

Sometimes we forget.

It was my fault, and I never should have

made us go in there in the first place.

It wasn't worth almost losing my hetero

life partner over.

What? You'd never lose me.

And I'm sorry I was such a dick.

It'll never happen again. All right?

B...

- F.

- F.

BFFs.

- Burnt French fries.

- What?

Dude, that's not what that means.

- It's not?

- No.

Big fat feet?

No, that's... that...

you're not even close, dude.

Oh!

Aw!

Oh, I've got it. Booger flicking friends.

No.

Hey, it's them.

Ma'am, I'm really sorry, but we had to let

that bear eat Steve.

He was kind of a dick. Run!

What the hell are you talking about?

Whoa!

Aah!

Come on! Ah!

It's only, uh...

6:
19, so we still have time

to go home, change, and make the reunion.

Where's your car?

Uh, it... it was right there.

It must have gotten towed.

Yeah, great.

You are the worst at parking.

We won't ever let you go

Can't take anymore

I'm under control

Uh, why are we stopped

here? This isn't our house.

Uh, yeah it is, man, it says

right there on the mailbox,

91 Gerard Way.

What?

This is our address.

Hello?

Leave the door open in case we have to run.

And grab something really sharp.

Ah.

Yeah.

That's literally the opposite of sharp.

There you are!

Why aren't you dressed?

You're gonna be late for the reunion.

Butt Massage Girl? What are you doing here?

For the last time, you're my boyfriend,

and you should call me by

my real name, which is...

Shh!

I'm your boyfriend?

She's real, dude.

Ian, did you hit your head?

Wait, if this is our house,

where'd we get the money?

Are you serious?

The Clone Fight video.

What?

Oh, my God. Are you guys on drugs?

I'm drunk in love.

This video of you guys

became the biggest

YouTube video of all time,

Then you got the TV show,

then you met the President,

then you made the movie,

and now there's even

Clone Fight Ruins Grad Night

on Broadway.

Broadway... that's always been my dream.

- We did it, man.

- Yeah.

We changed our entire lives

with that single video.

And I'm your boyfriend.

Like, for real, that's not a joke?

It's not a joke.

Wait, that means Anna...

that means Anna's here too, right?

Anna! Anna, where are you?

Who's Anna?

My girlfriend, Anna Reed.

You don't have a girlfriend.

I don't?

You have like, 30.

- Nice!

- Oh, my God, these...

These are all my girlfriends?

This is not a joke?

These are all for me? These are all...

Oh, my God, these are all my girlfriends.

You're all my girl... you're my...

You're my girlfr... You're my girlfriend?

- Oh, my God!

- They're your girlfriends!

Wait, is Anna one of... Is Anna...

Anna? Anna, are you...

are you one of them? Anna?

Uh, I don't think there's an Anna in there,

but your girlfriends

don't usually talk to me.

They're just super-hot bimbos.

Nice.

Wait, I'm sorry, I can't do this.

Anna's the only one I

want. I'm sorry, girls.

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- Bye.

The reunion.

I can still see Anna at the reunion,

and I'm like, cool now,

like, actually cool.

And rich.

And famous. Let's go.

Hi, boys. Don't forget your tuxedos.

Man! We're rich and famous

but we still live with my parents?

Of course not, don't be ridiculous.

No, we live with you.

Sweet.

Wait, who are these guys?

They're our butlers.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Oh, this is your personal hair stylist.

How much does she charge for a haircut?

My asking price is $75.

Make it $85 and you've got yourself a deal.

Oh, that must be the pizza.

Pizza?

Bavooki's Pizza.

Aah!

Oh. Awesome kick, bro. Wow.

Hold on, you're Steve YouTube, right?

It's pronounced

"You-too-bay. "

But you're the CEO of YouTube.

No, I'm not. I do food distribution

for a multi-million dollar company.

Hmm. Wonder who the CEO of YouTube is now.

I don't give a sh*t

what Julian Twitter said.

Julian Twitter's

- a little b*tch!

- Yes, ma'am.

Hey, you can tell Joey Amazon

that I ordered my scrunchies two weeks ago.

- Sorry, ma'am.

- Next day shipping, my ass!

I am so sorry for all the trouble,

Mr. Pizza Delivery Man. Here's

a really big tip for you.

Oh, well, thank you so much,

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