Smosh: The Movie Page #6

Why would you do that to me?

I thought you needed a little reminder

on how funny you used to be.

I'm still fun.

Not like you used to be.

You used to be the best person

in the world to hang out with.

Then you got a job and an expensive haircut

and you moved out of your parents' house,

and now it's like you're embarrassed

to do all the stuff we used to do together.

You're just jealous

you don't have the awesome

new life that I have.

You didn't even want

to come here to YouTube

and help me in the first place,

and you're the one that uploaded this!

And ever since we got in here,

all you wanted to do is try to pick up

on your stupid little Butt Massage Girl.

Don't bring Butt Massage Girl into this.

See that guy over there? That's my friend.

- Oh!

- Oh!

My butt!

Ha ha ha!

Where did the microphone go, guys?

Oh, it's really deep in there.

That's my friend!

This video's gonna go viral.

Oh!

Can we get a doctor?

That's my friend.

That's the guy I cared about

before he stopped liking cool stuff.

People change, Ian.

Get over it.

Take my haircut, for instance.

Okay... your haircut looks exactly the same

as it did five years ago!

Just 'cause you pay more for it

doesn't make it a better haircut.

Fight. Fight.

Shut up, Diri!

Stop! You're just gonna make this worse!

- No... give it back, dude!

- Stop! What...

Oh... baby!

- Oh!

- Uhh!

- Stop!

- No!

Stop it!

- You're a terrible friend!

- No, you are!

Huh?

No!

God, what...

- No...

- No!

Seriously, dude, no!

No... ah!

My mouth is full of rainbows!

Wait... is that guy high?

Tooth fairy's gonna make me rich!

Oh, God, he just had his

wisdom teeth taken out!

Oh, God...

Let go of the wheel!

You're gonna get us killed!

Let go... come on!

I have 11 fingers!

- Aah!

- Aah!

- Get off me!

- Let go!

Aw...

Look at the cute little kitty!

Hey, little guy!

Wait!

B-b-bucket...

Whoa... whoa...

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Dude, seriously?

Damn it!

Sorry. Please don't hurt us.

Aah!

Okay, look, you're right.

I have been a jerk lately.

I know I should have come clean right away

about the video, but...

once I saw your reaction to it,

I knew you'd be pissed.

I screwed up. I'm sorry.

Why don't you guys make out already?

Anthony, let's get out of here.

- Screw this guy.

- Diri, can you just shut up?

Okaaaaay, graduates!

Helloooo!

Are we all having a good time tonight?

Lame! We hate you.

Okay.

You know what?

I'm gonna make this up to you.

I got you into this mess, and

I'm gonna get you out of it.

Wait... where are you going?

Let him go.

It's just you and me now, Dreamy Eyes.

What did you just call me?

You heard me, you sexy little b*tch.

Put your hands together for Anthony.

Anthony Padillo!

Give him a hand.

Thanks, Mr. Ellis.

You rock, Anthony.

Is Magic Pocket Slave Monster

the best song ever?

Hey, you got up here really fast.

I'm sorry, man.

Ouch! Ow! Ow!

What are you trying to do?

I'm trying to knock you out

so you don't embarrass yourself.

Huh?

Told you I don't go down that easy.

- Here you go.

- Thanks!

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Either I'm seeing what you're seeing,

or somebody spiked the punch bowl with LSD.

It's not. I made the

punch, and I only spiked it

with vodka.

What should I do?

Should I go up there and help him?

That's what a good

friend would do, I guess.

You're right.

How are you so tough to knock out, man?

Is your head made of steel?

Give it to him!

Stop hitting my friend!

Aah!

Fight!

Fight, fight, fight!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Fight!

Come on!

Ian, look!

We only have 5% power left.

We have to get out of here.

What about fixing the video?

Forget it, it's too late.

Diri, get us to the portal now.

You said, "Is my Mom infertile?"

Let me check on that for you.

That's not what I said! You

know that's not what I said.

Damn it, Diri, this is not

the time for games, okay?

If we don't get back to that portal now,

we're gonna be stuck

here in YouTube forever.

And you would just hate that,

wouldn't you?

Stuck in here with me

for the rest of your life.

Shut up, Diri, this isn't about you.

You shut up, Ian.

You have poisoned the

mind of my dear Anthony.

What is it with you guys?

First, you idiots barge into

my office off the street,

asking for favors.

I am gracious enough to listen,

but then you won't even laugh

at my wiener jokes, even

though they are super funny.

Wait. Steve... is that you?

Uh... no, this is Diri.

I'm just some computer software

guiding you guys around.

I'm definitely not Steve

YouTube, whoever that is.

I mean, I've heard of

Steve YouTube, of course.

His wiener comedy is legendary.

Steve, dude, we know it's you, okay?

All right, fine. It's me, Steve.

YouTube... Steve YouTube.

Too bad you didn't figure

it out and hour ago,

because now I've got you trapped.

You're gonna live forever in YouTube,

making jackasses of yourselves in videos.

People love watching

jackasses doing stupid things.

It's our bread and butter here at YouTube.

And now, you're mine forever.

I knew that guy was a weirdo.

You're the weirdo!

We have to get back to that portal.

Anna is waiting for me on the other side.

Good luck trying to find the portal

without me to lead you there.

It's impossible.

Hoo hoo hah hah hah!

Hold on.

Wait, I have an idea.

What if we went into the viewing history

and followed the videos backwards?

That should lead us back

to the portal, right?

No, that won't work.

I mean, that definitely

won't work, I wouldn't even...

don't even try that.

We have to try the viewing

history, it's the only chance

we've got... come on!

You are gonna regret this.

You are messing with the wrong

super successful billionaire.

Oh!

Found it.

Let's go.

Fine, you want to run from

me? I'm up for the challenge.

Here we go.

That's not it.

That's not it.

Is that it? Oh... there it is.

There it is.

Let's do this.

Jerks.

All right.

I gotta get my VR suit on.

Oh! Shoot me... ow.

My thigh.

All right, I'm just gonna

get my VR suit... oh, shoot.

Hold on, guys. Guys...

I just dropped my globe.

I just got a little

bit turned around, guys.

Got it.

Don't go anywhere.

Oh, Jesus. There it is.

My VR suit is in here.

Soon as I put that on, you're dead.

So I just gotta change

out of these clothes,

get my VR suit on, then

I'm gonna need a zip.

Janice? I'm gonna need a zip!

I'm putting the VR suit on,

and I'm gonna need a zip in a second.

Whoa.

Aw.

Aw, look at the cute little whiskers.

Jesus.

Kaboom!

- Shiny.

- Oh, God!

You boys can't escape Steve YouTube!

Dude, quick, get us out of here now!

I'm trying!

Oh. Oh, what's happening?

I think Steve's trying

to delete our history.

Delete, delete, delete, delete.

- Ian?

- Hold on, hold on.

Okay, five seconds.

Butt Massage Girl.

I know you're not real,

but I want you to know

I'm going to find the real

you once I get out of here.

- Dude.

- I promise you.

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