Smosh: The Movie Page #5

Maybe even from a top rope.

Right. So I need to

climb to the top rope too,

and not be afraid of falling.

And I'll never know what I'm capable of

if I don't just get out there and try.

No, that's not what I'm saying!

I'm telling you to grab

her by that stack of dimes

she calls a neck, drop her

ass with a Stone Cold Stunner.

Yes! Oh, my God.

Stone Cold Steve Austin, you're the best.

I can always count on you.

Oh, why didn't I think of that?

Kid's on 'shrooms.

Stop. I can't stand

the silent treatment anymore.

Take me back, Anthony, and

I'll do better, I promise.

One final chance, that's

all I'm asking for.

Okay, fine. One final chance.

Okay? Take me to Rockville

High Graduation Night 2009.

Sure, I can help you with that.

See? It was that easy.

Damn it, Diri, this is not what

I asked for and you know it.

But this is it.

It's Rockville High Graduation Night, 2009.

- I swear.

- Anna?

Who is Anna?

Hi, everybody, or, you

know, the three people

that actually watch my stupid vlogs.

Mom, Dad, Uncle Keith's ghost,

tonight is graduation night.

I can't believe it's really her.

She's getting ready for

the graduation party.

Anthony, we need to talk.

Shh. No, we don't.

So, I did the Moonwalk

for Ring Finger Largeasia

last weekend.

37 miles.

The doctor says I'm never

gonna walk right again.

But some things are worth the sacrifice.

So there's this guy at school,

um, he was supposed to meet me for it,

but he didn't show up.

And it's weird because I

really thought we had something.

I don't know. I like the guy but...

I guess moonwalking 37 miles

would be a pretty weird first date.

That was supposed to be a date?

Maybe he'll be at the party tonight,

and we'll see if there's something there.

Otherwise, I am totally fine

with talking to you three fine people

out in internet land,

until you get bored of me.

And also, I've prepared a statement

for those victims of Ring Finger Largeasia.

Don't ignore me, Anthony.

Stop it! This is Anna Reed!

The girl I'm in love with.

The whole reason I came into

YouTube in the first place.

I think I just found out

she's in love with me, too.

Wow, you're easy.

What is that supposed to mean?

What does she have that I don't have?

Uh, a body, and a face, for starters.

Sincerely, Anna Reed.

Let's get out of here.

Who's there?

Uh, Uncle Keith's ghost.

- Uncle Keith?

- We have to go now!

You are never going to find your video.

It is no wonder that Ian does

not value your friendship.

Of course he does.

Oh, really?

Uncle Keith was a furry?

Oh, man, this feels great.

Is it weird to say that I

want this guy's hand on my butt

all the time?

A little bit.

Ian? What are you doing?

Oh, hey, man, check it

out! It's Butt Massage Girl.

You were supposed to be out looking

for the graduation night video!

What happened?

Maybe you didn't hear me,

but I found Butt Massage Girl.

Dude, she's amazing. We're kind of in love.

Hey, I know you. You're

Backflip Microphone Guy.

We've been watching your video all day.

You showed her that?

Well, I mean, it's a good video.

Why wouldn't I?

I mean, there you go.

- It's so cute, dude.

- It's so cute.

Oh, my God, dude, it's up to 748 views now.

That's like the entire attendance

of a football stadium

in a slightly bigger town

with a high school team

whose record is like,

- eight and two, and you know...

- This is why I like you.

they started the season off as underdogs,

so they, somehow, keep winning.

They're selling tickets like crazy and...

We get it, dude.

Ian, we have the video

address now. It's right here.

We have to go now before

Anna sees the video.

But... But, but, but, but, but,

- Butt Massage Girl.

- This is serious, dude.

It turns out, Anna is in love with me, too.

Oh.

But, but... Butt Massage Girl.

We have to fix that video

and get to the reunion

more now than ever. Come on!

But I wanna stay here with her.

Dude, it's meant to be, see?

Ian, come on, man.

This isn't even real. It's just a video.

Our love is real.

I mean, we got our butts massaged together.

Look.

Butt Massage Girl?

Who the hell are you?

- It's me.

- You who?

Big Rod 91.

Oh, my goodness, it's really you?

Yeah.

Ian, I know this is hard,

but we only have 24% of

our battery life left.

Okay? We need to go now.

All right. Fine.

But, Big Rod 91...

Good-bye, Butt Massage Girl.

I have a name, you know.

Shh! Don't say it.

- It'll ruin the romance.

- It's...

Shh! Go, go! La, la, la, la.

Go now, go now, go now!

Massage my butt!

This is it!

Yeah, I mean, it's great and all,

but it has been a couple minutes,

and I could really use

another butt massage.

Shh! Keep it down.

Can't draw attention to ourselves.

Whoa... whoa...

Oh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Dude, seriously?

Aah!

What kind of a dumbass just

leaves that stuff laying around?

Not like a bad dumbass.

Like a... good dumbass.

Way to not draw attention!

There she is.

Look at her.

And there we are.

Man, we were such losers.

Look at my stupid haircut.

It only cost 10 bucks.

Ah! Whoo!

Okaaaaaay, graduates!

Helloooo!

Are we all having a good time tonight?

I forgot how much this place sucked.

Is every-body havin' a good time tonight?

Ooooooh!

- Lame!

- Okay!

- We hate you!

- All right, coming up

on stage right now

to sing the theme song from

Magic Pocket Slave Monsters.

Really? Uh, everybody

put your hands together

for Anthony Padi...

Pa... dilla...

- B...

- F...

F!

- We need to stop him!

- Go, go, go.

Me. The... the guy who's also me.

- Thanks, Mr. Ellis.

- Mm-hmm.

You rock, Anthony!

Is Magic Pocket Slave Monsters

the best song ever?

Yes! Yes, yes.

Whoo! All right.

We need a plan, and we need a plan quick.

Let's do this!

Well, I mean,

you could go up there and knock him out.

I'm too tough to knock out.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoo, whoo, whoo.

Is that you?

- Huh?

- That guy, right there!

- Is that you?

- Um...

Is it me?

It's really hard to tell.

You are the only one

recording this here tonight.

Even if it was me,

I definitely wasn't recording it.

Dude, I was probably just taking a selfie.

"Selfie" wasn't even a term in 2009.

Anna Reed's in the house, y'all

Anna Reed's in the house, what?

Anna Reed, come on up.

Yeah. All right.

I really want you to see this.

Look me dead in the eye

and tell me you are not the one

that recorded this and uploaded it.

Obviously, it wasn't me, okay?

Hey, guys, I'm totally recording this,

and then I'm gonna put it

up on YouTube in five years,

probably right before our

five-year high school reunion.

Okay, it was me.

But I didn't do it to embarrass you.

I did it 'cause I thought

your flip was awesome.

Hit it, Mr. Ellis.

I wanna be the master

I wanna flip the switch

- Oh!

- Hoo hoo hoo...

That was awesome!

Look! You almost made it

all the way around that time.

And the crowd was super into it... see?

You made them all so happy.

Okay, I'm sorry,

but I didn't see how this could backfire.

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