Smother Page #5

They're very rootages.

I don't wanna calm.

I want my wife to live

where she's supposed to.

That's a dream we all share,

but obviously she's mad with you.

She said you

I know what she says.

Did you

Do you think any other woman

besides your mother

wants my salty prune bag?

You want to see it?

I'll prove to you

how disgusting I am.

I'll take a rain check, OK.

Is that my extension cord?

No, it's mine.

Are you sure?

Yeah, believe it or not.

I own my extension cord.

Oh, but mine has

a green little tab by

Would you focus?

On what?

On how she gets to

make wild accusations?

She has too much time

on her hands.

She does nothing but invent

problems for herself.

She reads too many spy novels!

It's better than

watching Strategic

Air Command all the time!

Mom, just stand out of it, OK?

Listen, if we're gonna make her home,

you must move on to

talk to her like an adult.

You know what?

I think I'm through

talking for a while.

You take over.

See you, Noah. OK.

Hey. Dad, don't be stupid.

Bye bye!

She knows where to find me.

You people are out of your minds.

It's all in your head,

you hear me?

That's the spirit!

Way to find common ground!

How's it going?

These banks want to loan me

anything with my credit.

What about asking your dad?

Maybe he could co-sign

or something.

My guess is he'd side

with the banks.

Do you think he's really

cheating on her?

No, I think my mom just needs

chaos in her life to function.

I don't even know what

I'd do if I found out

you were doing something like

that behind my back.

In the bedroom?

They come all the way off.

Could I get two minutes

to brush my teeth?

OK.

Give me the winner.

Too thin, Oh Geez, Oh yeah

This is a rock.

OK.

Let's go quick.

Noah, What's wrong?

Nothing.

I'm fine.

Honey, you're pulling my hair.

I'am Sorry.

OK, come on.

Guys?

Is there an extra pillow in there?

Mine's really uncomfortable.

Yeah, as uncomfortable

as a motel room?

Right on.

What?!

Noah, are you sleeping there?

Yes, I'm asleep.

OK, good.

Cause I don't wanna bother

you if you're asleep.

If you're asleep I really

don't think we should talk.

Mom?

What?

Spit it out.

Did you set your alarm for

work tomorrow?

Yes.

Good.

Okay, I'm just checking,

because you know.

I don't have a clock in my room.

And I'm excited

about work tomorrow

so I can't sleep.

And I took the wrong medication,

so I'm a little keyed up.

OK. I need you to

go back to your room

and not come out

the rest of the night.

Can you can do that for me?

Oh, sure.

Natch.

No problem.

And don't you worry about a thing.

And I didn't hear

you're doing that.

I don't understand

how you can let a few minor

distractions ruin everything.

See if you can tell me

what word

Doesn't belong here.

Son, Mom, boner.

Whatever.

The Fertility Wizard says

for the next two nights

are going to be

the peak of my cycle.

So we have to do something

both nights, okay?

Sounds so romantic.

I have to be up early.

Spoony?

Grow up.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop! Stop!

What's up?

What the hell are you doing?!

Uh... I'm going to

the supermarket.

I found that

I need some soy beans.

It's one o'clock

in the morning!

Okay, alright.

You know,

I'm going over to your

Father's house.

You're going to spy on him?

I'm not going to spy on him,

I'm just going to discreetly

monitor some of his activities.

That's all.

See, this is what

I'm talking about,

you always stir things up.

Just get out of the car.

You know what? You can ignore

What's going on if you want to.

But I need to go do this.

So you can either come with me or

You rolled the windows up.

Isn't that obvious to you?

Why don't you get in the trunk

and let's have a conversation.

Anything out of...

What are you doing?

Get in.

See, there's nothing going on.

We've only been here five minutes,

be patient.

You know you look better from inside.

Maybe you should move back in

and call me with a full report.

I mean you really think dad's

going to bring another

woman back here?

With Grandma around?

Let me tell you something.

Helen's no fan of mine.

Maybe She's covering for him.

Maybe She's getting paid

for her silence.

I really don't know.

Who's paying her?

Zero one-thirty-four.

Nothing to report.

Do you want some corn nuts?

No thank you.

I've got plenty.

Thanks anyway.

They're high in fiber.

I'd love some.

Great.

Do You know what I got.

I've got Ranch,

Jalapeno and Barbeque.

You're surprising me.

OK.

One Ranch coming up.

Oh, what is it?

Oh my... Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Never mind

Dad's got a sex with her

in a little chair inside.

It's just Satan.

Your father would never admit it,

but she runs his life.

Sometimes it's easier to take

the path of least resistance.

Trust me on that one.

Zero-one-thirty-five,

mother-in-law confirmed

inside residence.

What are you laughing, hey?

That's very impressive

lingo there, Condor.

You know, you make fun of me,

but I've read a lot about

how the CIA operates.

I know how they do business at

the highest levels of government.

In fact, if I got in a situation

at the Pentagon-

Do you even hear what

you're saying, the Pentagon?

I'm certain based on

everything Ive read,

that I can find my way around

and get out of a jam.

I'd need a Glock though.

You know I'm so happy that

I was recruited for this mission.

I think the top brass

is going to be

really impressed

with our results.

You know.

You think that

I really enjoy this?

Is that what you really think that

I like spying on my husband?

I've known Gene since

I was sixteen years old.

He is my whole entire life.

And if I stopped...

Never mind, you know what.

Let's

Let's just go.

Surveillance ended

zero-one-thirty-six.

Rise and shine, Twinkle Toes!

Today is the first day of

the rest of your life!

Wow...

Bye bye, Sammi.

Bye Myron.

Bye

This also comes a red oak.

Oh, wait. Sorry.

OK. OK.

I used to using coffee.

But you could use it in oil.

Mom, hit it.

Come down here.

Look at it.

The dirty is like disappear.

Disappear.

Mom. Mom. Mom.

Hey guys.

What are you doing here?

I was just in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd stopped

by and say hi.

Sometimes when you

get some responsibilities.

You can't let it gone.

Don't you have the whole

responsibility to make the whole...

Is your mother still

being your mother?

She's trying to figure some

things out, I guess.

Would you like me to hand you

a glass of water, Grandma?

What are you watching?

Strategic Air Command.

Honey, I just did tell you.

Why are you fast forwarding?

I skip all the scenes

with June Allyson.

She does nothing but b*tch.

That's June Allyson for you.

Look, there was another reason

I stopped by that...

Yeah, what's that?

Well, I've decided I'm going to

take a crack at running my own

physical therapy practice.

Uh huh.

And I was wondering since the

Bank's not really in a position

to loan me anything right now,

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