Smother Page #6

if you like to invest

a start-up money,

or cosign for a small

business loan.

We would be like partners.

What do you say, partner?

There's a lot of things

I would do for you, son,

but investing money in you

isn't one of them.

I've already got a lifelong credit

liability with your mother,

I'm not ready to take on

er protege.

I'm not doing this like this way.

Being a wife as a pilot.

Maybe Grandma could loan me some.

Oh that's right, that's where

your your generosity from.

I make practical decisions,

not popular ones.

Someday when you have a son,

you'll understand why.

Thank you for the pearl.

Okay, so Max, how can Escobar

capture Lieutenant Dawson

at the Mekong Delta?

Heavily-armed choppers?

It's been done.

Yeah... No...

Sounds tired to me.

Giant pest strip?

That's unrealistic.

OK. Wait a minute.

So what if...

How about Escobar orders

a napalm strike diversion,

and then what if shadow

ops ambush Dawson

OK.

While he's hatching eggs

in the rice paddy.

Breakthrough.

Breakthrough.

Ok.

We got that.

Please pass the astronaut ice cream.

Get it over here.

Alright, see you later soon.

OK?

OK:

Good luck.

Sorry, honey.

We should be quiet.

Hi.

Oh.

What's wrong?

I just talked with my dad.

He's not going to help me.

That's pretty bad news then.

Yeah, it's bad timing.

I get it.

If my wife wanted to

get pregnant and I didn't,

I'd be pretty uninterested

in sex, too.

What?!

That is ridiculous.

That news to me.

Because every time

we try do something lately

you've got an excuse.

Oh, like getting fired,

watching my parents

marriage collapse,

or realizing I'm going to work

at a theme carpet store

for the rest of my life?

Those kinds of excuses?

You know what?

I'm actual I'm feeling it.

Let's do this, uh?

I'm gonna take a goal on you.

I know you.

I know when you don't

want to do something.

I've been very supportive

throughout all of this.

You're so supportive.

The only pregnancy question

you've asked in six months

is how big are

my b*obs going to get.

Yeah, because I'm

worried about your back.

I don't want you to strain it.

I'm sorry if I care about you.

You are a piece of work.

God damn it.

Oh! Oh! Mom!

Get Out of the car!

What?

What are you doing?

Your father's

at the bowling alley!

I should supposed be

in that parking lot!

What?

What are you doing?

This is out of rage.

OK.

Listen.

I'm your mother, right?

I'm not a sort of bright joke.

You think you could

just push me around?

I have the right.

Just go back to your room.

Let me go!

She was going to

a Pain Pals meeting!

OK. Listen to me.

My house, my rules.

Rule number one,

stop stealing my car.

What are you

so afraid of finding out?

That I'm right?

Listen to me and listen wide

in the first begining.

Because this is

my final warning to you.

You can think about leaving

this house tonight,

or I'm taking you straight

to a homeless shelter.

Oh, yeah.

I'm scared.

You know, I wish just once you

could see yourself like I do.

I'am thinking about

what happened last night,

and if I upset you,

I just want to apologize

for my actions.

You're supposed to

say you accept.

Fine, I accept.

Good.

Now let's go sell some carpet.

Alright.

Yeah. No. No. No. I know Sir.

I know what you said.

I'd lovely do that.

So, where did you go?

Hey, so where's your vest?

Dry tempered.

Excuse me.

It's dry-cleaned.

If I catch you without it again,

It's a write up, understand?

OK:

Now what's going on

with the Brisbane order?

I don't know,

my mom's handling it.

Where's your pay for...

Here!

I think she'd catch on quicker.

She's a slow starter.

Honey, She's sixty.

She's fired,

that's what she is.

What?!

She hasn't even

worked here a full week.

She's the worst Caucasian employee

We've ever had and

she's costing me money.

So, I'm canning her ass.

But she's the only one here

wearing her vest.

You're gonna fire

an employee in a vast?

Am I running a telethon here?

The quick ones make it

and the slow ones don't.

Darwin said that and

I'm sticking to it.

Hi there.

Look, Donnie,

she loves

Excuse me.

It's all she's got.

Believe me when I tell you if you

fire her it's gonna destroy her.

You can't do it.

Actually,

you're her direct supervisor.

This falls under your domain.

That's a joke.

That's a sad joke?

No, I don't joke about

terminating someone's livelihood.

That I take very seriously.

Ok, you know.

I'm serious now about

firing my mom.

I'm not gonna do that.

Look.

Maybe I'm not making myself clear.

I'd like you to do this for me

or you're gone.

You need this job, right?

Do me proud.

Hi, Honey.

Donnie said you wanted

to talk to me?

Yeah, uh...

Do you wanna have a seat.

I was just reading

the employee manual.

It says we get a week's vacation

and five sick days after

twelve months service.

I've never had that

benefits before.

Uh... yeah, so, Mom,

I was talking to Donnie,

And he said he's been watching

you work the last few days

and he thinks

your skills might be

put to better use in another area.

Oh, really? You mean like greeter?

Well, maybe.

I think you'll be

a great greeter.

But I don't think that's

what he's talking about.

No. No.

He doesn't think I'm ready for

team leader yet, does he?

No, I think He feels

it would be the best

if you work at home

from now on.

I don't understand.

How am I going to do that when all

the carpet and customers are here?

I don't think he means working with

the carpet and customers anymore.

I don't understand.

What would I be doing?

You'd be... uh... you'd be...

Oh, I know.

I would be the telemarketer?

Fired, Mom.

You are fired.

OK.

I'd be fired.

I'm sorry... I tried to...

I told him how much...

Right... I...

I guess I wouldn't

need this anymore

OK. Here.

I'm fine, sweetie.

I'm perfectly fine.

It's not the end

in the whole life,

world everything.

You know, obviously,

someday when you and

I look back on this,

we're just gonna laugh, Right?

How'd it go?

Pop quiz.

How many square feet

are in this?

You're fired.

Do you hear me?!

The third time will

not be the charm for you!

Ha! Laugh's on you, Cooper!

That's stain resistant!

Mom! Wait a minute!

Cars!

Mom! Wait! Mom!

Mom!

I need your keys back, chappie.

I'm talking to you, ass.

Hey, So what are you in for?

I beat my boss senseless

with a foam scepter.

I'd prefer if you

sat over there.

Sure.

Do you know how much

carpet I had to buy

to talk him out of

pressing charges?

Three and fifty feet.

Do you have any idea

how much carpet that is?

Four and sixty-seven yards.

That's on top of bail.

If you worked a little harder

on your marriage,

maybe you wouldn't have to be

so involved in my life.

How's that his responsibility,

he's not the one who left.

You don't know what

you're talking about.

No one knows how hard

I've worked on this marriage.

Then why am I

in the middle of mediating?

In case you hadn't noticed,

I've been the only one trying to

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