Snakes on a Plane Page #4

I need everyone to close

any compartment that's open!

Just close them!

- I can't reach.

- I got it.

Let me get it.

Hey, whoa whoa whoa.

It's only me. What's up?

- I can't find those two little boys.

- Little boys?

Tommy and Curtis,

they were by themselves.

- Hey!

- Mister, my brother-- he got bit.

I was supposed

to take care of him.

You are taking care

of him, sweetheart.

You're taking care

of him right now.

- Is-is he gonna die?

- No, honey.

But you have to be brave

for him now, okay?

Okay, sweetheart.

Are you okay?

My baby!

Where is my baby!

Oh, Lord.

- Oh, my baby!

- Here you go.

- Go go go go! Hurry!

- Thank you!

Come on! Come on!

Come through!

Hurry, hurry!

Help! I need help!

Oh my God, Grace.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

- Let me, let me. I got her.

- Oh my God.

I have to go

and tell Rick.

Grab the first-aid kit!

Grace, hey hey hey...

Here's some water.

Come on, man, you got to drink water.

Breathe, breathe.

We missed the bastards

because they

were cold-blooded.

Come on, come on.

John, John, listen

to me, you're okay.

Just take a deep breath,

John, you're having a panic attack.

Mmm...

Oh, sh*t.

You've gotta

be kidding me!

Good luck.

John?

Son of a--

Hey hey hey, we have

to figure something out.

All right. Well,

I know what I gotta do.

We're in a 200-foot

aluminum tube

and we're 30,000

feet in the air.

And any one of those slimy

little pieces of sh*t

can trip a circuit

or a relay or a hydraulic

and this bird goes down

faster than a Thai hooker.

So my job is to keep LAX informed

on how totally screwed we are,

and then find some way

to keep this mother

in the sky another two hours.

Figure that out.

- Hey hey, where you going?

- Uh, I have to go down.

I have to help

the passengers.

Now there's supposed

to be a doctor aboard. A Dr....

Robert Foster.

Robert Foster!

Wait, here he is.

Here he is. Dr. Robert Foster,

row 11, seat H.

Yeah, Harris.

Um, Sanders is dead.

You know all those goddamn security

scenarios we ran?

Well, I'm smack in the middle of one

we didn't think of.

What the hell

you talking about?

Eddie Kim somehow

managed to fill the plane

with poisonous snakes.

Wait, hold on.

What kind of insane plan is that?

He can't

possibly guarantee

that the snakes

are gonna get to Sean.

Yeah well, he doesn't

have to guarantee it

if he brings

the whole plane down.

Listen up.

Everybody listen up.

I want a crisis team

at LAX, ASAP.

And I need the cargo manifest

for every scrap of freight

on South Pacific Air 121.

I can't believe

I'm saying this.

I need the best poisonous snake

expert in this time zone.

And I need him in my ear or at my side

in 20 minutes or less.

Well come on, people, let's go!

Somebody make that happen for me!

Hey, tell surveillance,

don't let Eddie Kim out of their sight.

All right, we have to--

we have to suck out the poison.

- Man, I ain't sucking nothing.

- Okay, I'll do it.

What?! Oh, there'll

be no sucking.

Man, Troy, get this

man away from my ass!

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, yeah, we sure. Thanks, pal.

Okay, sweetheart,

it's gonna be okay.

Oh my God!

Hold my baby, please.

Forget about that.

Do you have any

olive oil on the plane?

- Olive oil? Olive oil.

- Yeah.

- I'm on it.

- Yeah, in a cup!

Okay.

When I was a kid,

whenever we went hiking,

we always carried olive oil and a razor

blade in case of a snake bite.

I need something to cut.

Here you go.

Okay, this--

this will work, yeah.

Okay, oil. So you

swish it in your mouth

to seal it

from the poison.

- Look at Claire, Tommy.

- Look at me, sweetie--

It's gonna hurt

a little bit, okay?

- Okay, now.

- It hurts.

You're so brave.

Yeah, it's gonna

be all right, Tommy.

Ow! Ah!

That's what

I'm talking about.

- Good, boy.

- Yeah, I think I got it all.

It's gonna be okay, Tommy.

You're very, very brave.

Um, I-I got bit too.

- Flynn, what the hell--

- Just sit tight.

I can't. l--

Do you remember the first

thing I ever said to you?

Yes.

So what was the first thing

I ever said to you?

I-I know,

but things have changed.

What was the first thing

I said to you?!

Things have changed!

You have a whole plane full of sna--

God! "Do as I say,

you live."

Nothing's changed.

Now I need you to stay

up here by the air phone.

When Agent Harris calls,

you come and get me.

You got it?

Got it.

Hey hey hey! They're getting through

the luggage, here, seriously.

I need some help!

Fire extinguisher!

- Ken!

- Agent Flynn, here.

Weapons-- we have to have weapons.

Where's the silverware?

Well, we don't-- we don't

have any silverware.

All we have is this.

- Sporks?

- Yeah.

Here.

Use that.

His name is

Dr. Stephen Price.

He's-- he's some kind of

hardcore snake specialist.

And customs uses him

as their go-to guy

for any animal

smuggling cases.

- The go-to guy?

- Yeah. So he must be good.

Dr. Price?

- It is I.

- Hank Harris.

I'm hoping this is important,

I've got baby Antiguan racer eggs

in there ready to hatch--

the first time ever in captivity

- Really?

- It's very exciting.

Wow. I got another exciting first

I'd like to tell you about.

I need another!

Help, somebody!

Come on!

Help me out here!

- Please, I can't-- I can't do this!

- Hold on, I'm coming!

Come on! Somebody get me another

fire extinguisher!

All right, we we got

less than 90 minutes.

We've already lost over 50 people

and that's including an FBI agent.

Okay.

Look, we've already

contacted local ERs.

Oh, local ERs.

Uh, I don't think you

understand the magnitude

of what you're

dealing with here.

LA County ERs can,

at best,

handle the occasional

snake bite.

Uh, not an entire

I'm going to contact

the National Poison Control Center

to have them alert every ER

in the tri-county area

and to order every available helicopter

crew to be ready.

We've got less than

two hours to mobilize an entire army.

Flynn, Flynn!

Hey, they got-- they got

a snake guy on the phone.

Who the hell is that?

His name is Dr. Price.

Look, Doc, people are dying

up here. We need help fast.

Okay, just break open any blisters

that form around the bites.

- Keep them clean.

- We're doing that.

- It doesn't seem to be doing much good.

- Snakes don't attack

unless they're

provoked, right?

Something up there

is making them go crazy.

Yeah, no sh*t.

They're attacking everybody

and everything up here.

They're especially fond

of those f***ing leis.

Leis? Jesus,

I don't know, uh...

it could possibly

be a pheromone.

That's what female animals release

to trigger mating behavior.

It could also provoke

serious hyperaggression.

Like some kind of drug.

Well, that's good news.

Snakes on crack.

How could you imbeciles

let somebody put snakes--

- We need to turn this plane around

- I don't want to die.

- We need to get them to a hospital

- We're almost to LA now.

Know what they call that?

The point of no return.

So this is it?

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