Snatched Page #3

Synopsis: After her boyfriend dumps her on the eve of their exotic vacation, impetuous dreamer Emily Middleton persuades her ultra-cautious mother, Linda to travel with her to paradise. Polar opposites, Emily and Linda realize that working through their differences as mother and daughter - in unpredictable, hilarious fashion - is the only way to escape the wildly outrageous jungle adventure they have fallen into.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Jonathan Levine
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.4
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
36%
R
Year:
2017
90 min
$45,850,343
Website
1,185 Views


Oh, my God.

Anyway, Barb retired

last year. Oh, look!

That's her over there.

Finally getting some peace.

You know,

she was in special ops.

And she's seen some sh*t.

Hi, Barb!

Special ops! Wow, that's

very interesting.

Oh, don't bother

waiting for a response.

Barb cut her own tongue out

when she left the service.

Precautionary measures

to prevent from

being interrogated

for top secret information.

Couldn't they just torture her

into writing down

the information?

Well, anyway, I best get going.

Here's my number, in case you

guys want to grab dinner

or lunch, or breakfast,

or a snack.

Okay.

Or just kinda sit, you know?

Just sittin'.

Thank you, Ruth.

Thank you so much.

See you at dinner.

EMILY:
WOW.

LINDA:
Well

I'm going to be having a

lovely evening here tonight

reading my novellas.

Well, I'm going to get ready

and have a drink.

What a shock.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SIGHS)

(SHUTTER CLICKS)

(SHUTTER CLICKS)

Hey, do you mind if I join you?

Hey, that dude...

Oh, no. Uh, sorry.

You.

Mind if I join you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, come over.

Please.

Uh, not you. It was me.

Excuse me?

Could you kind of beat it?

'Cause you're a distraction.

Hey, how are you?

I'm James.

Emily.

Hi, Emily.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

What happened to your arm?

Did you try to kill yourself

'cause you're so ugly?

(BOTH LAUGH)

No, I, um

I've just spent the past

few weeks in Koh Phangan.

Mmm.

And my last day there I kept

thinking about that quote

"Man cannot discover new oceans

"unless he has the courage

to lose sight of the shore."

Wow, I love that you don't

care about sounding

like a weirdo.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Well, you know,

I wanted a tattoo

to symbolize that

but I'm pretty sure

I must have been wasted

because I don't know

what Borat has to do

with any of that.

That is brutal.

Yeah, it is.

But, actually, I can beat that.

Look at this.

Okay.

I got this.

I was 18, okay?

Look at that.

It's raised.

Touch it, it's raised.

That is horrible.

I got it at the worst place.

And my skirt's over my head.

Is that finished?

I mean, people have

certainly finished on it.

(LAUGHING)

I'm sorry.

I don't know

why I just said that.

I'm trying to, like,

be funny for you.

So, here you are.

How come you're here?

I'm a model.

I'm here, modeling.

So you're not here

with your boyfriend?

Is he a model, too?

Uh, no, I'm just here with, um

my

My mom.

Hey, that's so crazy

you're here with your mom

because I'm here with my mom.

Really?

No, absolutely not.

That would be so sad,

because I'm an adult.

It's pronounced "adult."

EMILY:
You've been to Egypt?

What were you saying?

JAMES:
No, yeah,

I went to Egypt.

I know it's kind of

dangerous right now.

But, I've hiked up

mountains in Iran.

I've run with the bulls

in Spain.

I've eaten poisonous

blowfish in Japan.

To me, those are the moments

that make life worth living.

I love everything you're saying.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Your Instagram must be insane.

Oh, well, no. I'm not really

on any of those things.

How can anybody see what you do?

Well, they don't.

But I get to live it.

Do you wanna do

something tonight?

Like, something crazy,

or can we do something amazing?

Yeah!

I'm sure we can rustle up

some adventure tonight.

Yes!

Yeah.

Everything okay

over here, Emily?

I met them at the pool.

Oh, you guys.

Remember, never have more

drinks than you have tits.

Two tits, two drinks.

I know how many tits I have.

Please, go away.

Did you just give me

danger eyes?

I don't even know what

"danger eyes" is.

I gave you get-the-f***-outta

here eyes. Go away.

It was like this.

That's kind of a thing.

I didn't make that face.

I think you...

That's danger eyes.

Go.

Go away.

(MIMICS SHUTTER CLICKING)

Ride or die.

Barb, you're wilin' out

right now.

Thank you, Barb. Okay.

(BOTH LAUGH)

(SIGHS)

(SNIFFS AND GROANS)

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

(HINGES CREAKING)

(SIGHS)

HEY:

HEY:

That was not

what it looked like.

I was just washing my vagina

in case we hooked up.

That is what it looked like.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

'Cause when I drink sometimes

it smells like soup.

Hey, do you know what?

Shall we?

Yeah?

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, what kind of soup?

Um, that is none

of your business.

Let it all go

Come on, man, I already know

We gotta go fig up a riot

If we wanna fly free

Doggies and dolls

I wanna be facing them off

Light up my fire

I need to get in too deep

Take me to the party

Really? What? What?

(LAUGHING)

Slow down. You're like...

Here we go.

What is this?

Check it out.

(JAMES LAUGHS)

No.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

EMILY:
on, my God!

JAMES:
What do you think?

EMILY:

I can't believe this.

JAMES:
I know.

They just sort of pop up.

Is this like a tree

or something?

JAMES:
It is a tree.

You're gonna know all these

people by the end of it.

EMILY:
Yes.

Hola!

Just two of those.

(SIGHS)

That's capoeira.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(MAN GRUNTS)

JAMES:
Oh, sh*t!

Uh, I'm really sorry.

She's never done that before.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

I think you might have

killed the guy.

Holy sh*t.

I'm sorry.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(EMILY WHOOPING)

Oh, this is nice.

Right?

That's made of glass.

Yeah, it is.

And the elevator there

is made of steel.

And you are okay

finding your room?

Oh. Yeah.

No, I had a buzz earlier.

But it's gone now.

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Your tit's out.

Your tit's out, too.

No, your tit is actually

emerged.

I thought I felt a breeze.

Will you excuse me?

Oh, no.

Yeah, absolutely.

(SIGHS) God, I wish

I could invite you up.

But I can't.

I have to 69 my mom.

Well, how about, then

you set your alarm

for 9:
00 a.m

and we will go

on another adventure?

Yeah! I would love it.

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, sh*t.

I got my mom.

No, bring her.

It'll be fun.

Oh, my God! James!

Thank you.

That's all right. The

pleasure's gonna be mine.

So, you get off to bed

and I will see you tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow, too.

(JAMES CHUCKLES)

(CLATTERING)

EMILY:
on!

(CLATTERING CONTINUES)

(EMILY SHUSHING)

(SOFTLY) Sorry.

(SIGHS) Mom,

I had the best night.

I learned the capoa.

You do that.

And I danced with a lady.

(EXCLAIMS)

(THUDS)

I'm okay.

And we twerked.

Did you ever twerk, Ma?

No.

It's easy.

You just loosen your lower back,

and you kind of jump.

Are you getting it?

Yeah.

I was doing it better before.

What is this haunted swan

doing here?

Scram, swan!

Mom

I met a man.

Yeah?

I met a real man.

Well, drinking with a man

in a foreign country...

You know? It's a smart,

responsible thing to do.

Thank you.

I know that that is

sincere, and I thank you.

You missed a maleficent night.

Well, I'm sorry.

Go to sleep.

I can't get in.

It's too tight, Mom.

Just, here...

Just put your feet under there.

It's so tight.

It's tight,

but it will untighten.

What are they trying to prove?

Just go to sleep, honey.

He's my soul mate.

I know, I'm sure. Yeah, whatever.

Wait till tomorrow.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes

Katie Dippold

Katie Dippold is a screenwriter, actress, and comedian. She was a writer on the NBC series Parks and Recreation and wrote The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. The Heat won the 2014 American Comedy Award for best screenplay and favorite comedy of the year at the People's Choice Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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