Snatched Page #5

Synopsis: After her boyfriend dumps her on the eve of their exotic vacation, impetuous dreamer Emily Middleton persuades her ultra-cautious mother, Linda to travel with her to paradise. Polar opposites, Emily and Linda realize that working through their differences as mother and daughter - in unpredictable, hilarious fashion - is the only way to escape the wildly outrageous jungle adventure they have fallen into.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Jonathan Levine
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.4
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
36%
R
Year:
2017
90 min
$45,850,343
Website
1,185 Views


This is the end of the line,

whatever that means.

Come on, honey.

Ma, do you think there's

any way that, like,

maybe that guy's okay?

I saw his brains.

Why can't you just

make me feel better?

Oh, my God.

Thank you so much.

You are such a sweetie.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

What? Hector Morgado?

(CONTINUES IN SPANISH)

This is...

Honey, he's nervous.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

EMILY:
Wait,

where are you going?

LINDA:

Where are you going?

EMILY:
Should we get

back in here?

What are we supposed to do?

LINDA:
Okay, we gotta get

out of here. Let's go.

EMILY:
What we need to focus

on is that we got out.

LINDA:
I don't know

why I let you talk me

into this in the first place.

I should have stayed

at the hotel.

I can't fight with you

right now. I'm starving.

Do you hear my stomach?

It's, like, crazy.

I'm so hungry.

(LINDA EXCLAIMS)

Oh, my God.

LINDA:
A phone!

A turkey leg!

MORGAN:
Mmm-hmm,

hold on one second.

State Department,

this is Morgan.

(MUFFLED) Please listen

very carefully to me, sir.

My mother and I

have been kidnapped.

Mmm, okay,

where are you guys now?

Puerto Matias.

That's in southern Colombia.

Let me pull that up.

Will you hold on for one second?

They took us to Colombia.

It's fine, it's fine.

It's just a different...

(GASPING)

ZIP code.

It's so far.

Okay.

Okay, go ahead and get out

a pencil and paper for me.

And write down "Calle..."

"Cali" What?

Is this a tall building

that we need to get to

so you can pick us up

on the top of it?

That's the address

of the nearest

US consulate in Bogota.

Okay, but you have

to actually come get us

because we are Americans

in peril. So...

I'm sorry to tell you,

but any time you

travel internationally,

you take a risk.

Most of Colombia is beautiful

and very safe now.

With the exception

of Puerto Matias,

which is very much not.

So trust no one.

Good luck.

And thanks for calling

the US State Department.

(SIGHS)

(MUTTERING)

You talked to him.

What'd he say?

I think we're gonna need

to make another phone call.

We're gonna get you out of this.

I don't know if you remember

me telling you this

but Barb was in the special ops.

So she's highly trained

for this type of situation.

Let me tell you a story

about Barb.

We're on a limited time card.

We really need...

1991, Kuwait.

Hot as f***...

Hello?

(BEEPING)

(SIGHS) on, my God.

EMILY:
This place seems okay.

Hi.

Hi. When does

the next bus leave?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Bus doesn't leave

for about 36 hours.

Oh, my God.

But I know a man

who can take care of you.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure he could.

Mmm-hmm.

This is how sex slavery

starts, honey.

I'm so sorry.

Listen, no. You don't

have to worry about that.

Those kinds of people want

young, beautiful females.

You're safe.

Oh, well, yeah.

That's good.

Okay, how dare you!

Like, that is so rude.

That's crazy.

Well, honey.

No. Like, how dare you.

That's my mother.

Honey, have a peanut.

Okay, fine. But if you

think it would be safer

for me to kind of, like

go hide and then

she meets your friend

who knows

how to get us to the...

No, I don't want you to do that.

No, you're both safe.

How do you mean?

Your poofy face

will protect you.

But, over there,

that man is who I mean.

Can I help you, ma'ams?

He's American.

America!

Oh, my God.

We're Americans. Hi.

I'm Emily and this is Linda.

Hi, I'm Linda.

You don't even understand

the ordeal

that we have just been through.

LINDA:
Yeah, I mean,

we were kidnapped.

EMILY:
We really need to

get to the US consulate in

Bogota?

Right.

As soon as possible, kind of.

So, if you know the easiest way.

The easy way?

(ALL LAUGHING)

They were laughing

at something else.

You're not going to find

that in Colombia.

Ah, you've got mountain

ranges to the north.

Mom, come on.

Jungles to the east and west.

And, well, the mighty one, the

river, she's to the south.

There is no easy trek.

There's a reason

they call Colombia

"The sack of the jaguar."

I never heard of that before.

I'll tell you what.

I've got a slow boat,

headed down river.

I can take you east

along the Amazon

and stretch it up north.

We should be able to

drop you off close enough

that you can make it to Bogota

without too much trouble.

Name's Roger Simmons.

The boat's docked just out back.

Crew's getting her seaworthy

as we speak. So...

I'll check in with them

then come back for you.

Thank you.

Seor!

Chicken wings for the ladies.

You're safe with me.

Thank you.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah!

Slow boat!

Slow boat.

You wanna get the chicken wings?

That'd be great.

(EMILY MOANING)

Ma, stop.

Don't, like, caress me.

Oh, sweetie.

You look just like you did

when you were three.

Okay. You need to start

dating again.

What?

Yeah, you do.

Oh, please. Don't start

with this again.

Why? I've been there, done that

All right, I'm gonna pee.

Don't let them

take the wings away.

Okay, honey.

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my God. Help!

Mom! Oh, my God! Ow!

EMILY:
on, my God.

(MORGADO GRUNTS)

That's him.

That's the guy.

Oh, God.

EMILY:
Hi, sir.

Remember us?

Shut the f*** up.

Why did you come

to South America?

I didn't want to come.

I never wanted to come.

For the cultural experience

and the Red Cross.

You come down here

you stay at your fancy resort

clutching your pearls.

(CLICKING TONGUE)

Look at my people

like you are at the zoo.

What the f***?

You offer nothing here to them.

And you take everything.

And then

you kill my only nephew.

Oh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no. No.

EMILY:
We had no idea.

LINDA:
We didn't know.

We're new in town.

EMILY:
We're very new.

BOTH:
He was cute.

He was fast.

You should have seen him

in those last moments.

I'm sorry. But listen,

you kidnapped us.

And that's what motivated that.

So, like

that is on you.

LINDA:
Okay. What?

Wait a minute.

She's really such a good kid.

She is garbage.

No.

Yeah. Yes.

EMILY:
Yes, I am.

Yes, you are.

I am garbage.

I have never voted.

I don't know any Spanish.

I only know one word.

What they called me at my job

at the restaurant. Puta!

Which I don't know

what it means.

"Princess" or "pretty" or...

It means "whore."

That checks out.

You took someone from my family.

I must take someone from yours.

(WHIMPERING)

That is the way it is.

I didn't make the rules.

Not this one.

EMILY:
Mom.

Okay. Okay.

Hold on. Look!

A spear gun.

I want you to take that,

and I want you

to threaten him with it.

Okay, I'm gonna distract them.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna distract them!

You're distracting them?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(GAGGING)

My son!

MY son! My only son!

(SCREAMS)

What?

Kill them!

I told you to threaten him.

That's his son?

Someone order a boat

with a side of adventure?

Shut the f*** up, Roger!

MY son! My only son!

EMILY:
Go!

LINDA:
Let's go!

Manuel! Quickly, the boat!

Come on, Mom!

(MUFFLED GUNSHOTS)

(PHONE RINGS)

This is Morgan Russell.

Yes! Morgan Russell!

I'm the one that's been calling

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes

Katie Dippold

Katie Dippold is a screenwriter, actress, and comedian. She was a writer on the NBC series Parks and Recreation and wrote The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. The Heat won the 2014 American Comedy Award for best screenplay and favorite comedy of the year at the People's Choice Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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