Snowglobe Page #2

THE STOVE.

[shattering sound]

[Rose gasps]

WELL, YOU CAN ONLY USE THEM

ONE MONTH A YEAR, RIGHT?

AY.

[smacking and grunting]

MA.

THANKS.

SO, DAD,

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

GOOD...I GUESS.

SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

OKAY, JAMIE.

HOW'S THE JOB SEARCH GOING?

CUT HIM SOME SLACK.

(Jamie)

COME ON,

I'M WORKING ON IT, OKAY?

WHAT'S WITH THE SECOND DEGREE?

IT'S THIRD.

THIRD DEGREE, BABY.

IT'S NOT EVEN FIRST DEGREE.

IT'S CALLED CONVERSATION.

IT'S WHAT CIVILIZED PEOPLE DO

AT THE DINNER TABLE.

LOOK, IF HE HAD HAD

HIS FIRST DEGREE,

MAYBE WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING

THIS CONVERSATION.

[sputters]

MA!

DON'T YOU START ON HIM TOO.

MMM.

THE GAME!

UNCLE DONNIE.

IT'S THE GIANTS.

MOM!

[chatter on TV]

[sportscaster on TV]

IT'S A PRETTY TIGHT GAME.

TURN THE VOLUME DOWN.

OKAY.

MWAH.

MWAH.

[sighs]

SO I WAS THINKING

MAYBE WE HAVE:

A TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS

DINNER THIS YEAR.

HUH?

(Rose)

WELL, OF COURSE WE HAVE

CHRISTMAS DINNER, ANGELA.

DON'T WE ALWAYS?

NO, I MEAN,

NOT JUST GREEN LASAGNA

AND MEATBALLS.

LIKE, SOMETHING SPECIAL.

LIKE A GOOSE:

OR STUFFING:

OR MAYBE EVEN PUDDING.

WHAT'S WRONG

WITH GREEN LASAGNA?

IT'S TACKY.

IT'S FESTIVE!

I LOVE THOSE LITTLE

CHOCOLATE PUDDING CUPS.

I PUT MY VOTE IN RIGHT NOW.

I COULD EAT 1,000 OF THOSE!

NOT THAT KIND OF PUDDING.

OH! THIS KID'S GONNA BE

A KUNG FU ARTIS OR SOMETHING.

THOSE ARE THE MORENO LEGS.

LITTLE ANTONIO TWO

IS GONNA BE AN ATHLETE.

DADDY, I'M NOT NAMING

MY DAUGHTER "ANTONIO."

YOU DON'T KNOW

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A GIRL.

I HAD A SONOGRAM.

[scoffs]

I'LL SHOW YOU

HOW WE USED TO DO I BACK IN CUBA.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU LEFT CUBA:

WHEN YOU WERE TEN.

WHAT, I REMEMBER SOME THINGS.

LOOK, YOU LAY DOWN

ON THE FLOOR, SEE?

WE TAKE AN EGG.

WE PUT IT ON YOUR BELLY.

IF IT ROLLS OFF:

TO THE RIGHT--

DAD, WE ARE NOT BREAKING

ANY EGGS ON MY FLOOR.

SHE'S HAVING A GIRL.

LUCRETIA.

MM-MM.

NOT LUCRETIA.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

IT WAS YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S

NAME.

SHE COULD KEEP IT.

SHUT UP!

CAN WE GET BACK:

TO CHRISTMAS PLANS?

TOUCHDOWN!

HEY!

(Donnie)

YEAH!

HEY, NOW THAT IS WHA I'M TALKING ABOUT!

YES!

[men cheering]

(Donnie)

IT'S A REPLAY!

MOVE OVER!

MOVE OVER, DONNIE!

[sighs]

ARE WE DONE?

[cheering]

ANIMALS.

(Angela)

MA, DON'T.

IT'S STILL BROKEN.

YOU HAVEN'T FIXED

ANGIE'S DISPOSAL?

IT'S ON THE LIST.

OKAY, TELL ME YOU AT LEAS FIXED THE TOILE IN 304.

IT'S A LONG LIST.

HUH, SOME MANAGER.

THERE'S A NEW TENANT,

AND I THINK IT WOULD BE

REALLY NICE:

IF HE COULD FLUSH HIS TOILE MORE THAN TWICE A DAY.

[TV clicks off]

I RAN INTO THE NEW GUY.

OH, TELL ME.

YOU HAVE TO STOP.

STOP WHAT?

STOP WHAT?

STOP TRYING TO FIX ME UP.

[scoffs]

YOU KNOW O'MALLEY'S BAR?

THAT NEW GUY'S REDOING

THE WHOLE PLACE.

MUSTA BOUGHT IT.

A REGULAR ENTREPRENEUR.

NOBODY'S TRYING TO FIX YOU UP.

EIGHT TENANTS IN A ROW,

ALL SINGLE GUYS.

HMM, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

(Antonio)

WELL, IT'S A STUDIO APARTMENT.

IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA

PUT A FAMILY OF FOUR

IN THERE.

(Angela)

HOW ABOUT AN OLD WOMAN?

HOW ABOUT A PRIEST?

(Rose)

A PRIEST, ANGELA?

PLEASE, BE REASONABLE.

A PRIEST CAN'T MARRY.

I'M PERFECTLY REASONABLE.

I JUST WANT YOU GUYS

TO STOP MESSING:

WITH MY LOVE LIFE.

WHAT LOVE LIFE?

[all chuckling]

(Rose)

OKAY, SHE'S GOT A POINT THERE.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING

ANY YOUNGER.

I'M 25!

LOOK AT YOUR SISTER.

MARRIED, PREGNANT--

YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.

FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME,

I AM NOT GONNA MARRY

A GUY JUST BECAUSE

HE MOVES INTO THE APARTMEN DOWN THE HALL.

NOW, THERE'S SOMEONE

OUT THERE FOR ME,

AND I'LL KNOW I WHEN I MEET HIM.

[laughs, snorts]

GOOD LUCK!

(Rose)

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

LAY OFF YOUR SISTER.

IF SHE WANTS TO LIVE

LIKE A SPINSTER:

AND DIE IN THIS APARTMEN ALONE WITH A CAT,

THAT'S HER BUSINESS.

[laughter]

OKAY, AND WE WILL

ALL RESPECT HER DECISION.

YES.

THAT'S IT!

GOOD NIGHT.

GO.

GO GO GO.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAT.

WELL, AT LEAST SOMEONE'S

GETTING THEIR SHOPPING DONE

EARLY.

WOW.

OH, MY.

NO NOTE?

NO RETURN ADDRESS?

SO WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

[sighs]

[whimsical tune plays]

[whooshing sound]

PHEW.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[joyful chattering]

[Christmas music playing]

[distant carolers

singing Jingle Bells]

OH JINGLE BELLS:

JINGLE BELLS...

[chuckles]

[grunts]

OH!

HUH!

WHOA, HEADS UP!

I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

UGH.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

UGH.

YEAH.

OH.

WHERE AM I?

[distant carolers

singing Jingle Bells]

JINGLE ALL THE WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS

TO RIDE...

[sighs]

WOW.

HI.

ARE YOU SURE:

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?

I DIDN'T HIT YOU

WITH THE SHOVEL, DID I?

I'M FINE.

I-I-I-I'M FINE.

UM, WHERE AM I?

YOU'RE HERE.

YEAH, BUT WHERE IS--

OH!

I GET IT.

IT'S A DREAM.

I DON'T THINK SO.

OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

YOU'RE PART OF IT.

[laughs]

I MEAN WE'RE DEFINITELY

NOT IN BROOKLYN ANYMORE.

WHAT'S A BROOKLYN?

[chuckles]

IT'S A...

UH...

WELL, THERE ARE

THESE FIVE BOROUGHS.

OH.

[both laughing]

LET'S GET YOU INSIDE.

OKAY.

IT'S NICE AND COZY

AT THE INN.

MY NAME'S DOUGLAS.

I'M ANGELA.

SOME PLACE YOU GOT HERE,

DOUGLAS.

(Douglas)

IT'S HOME.

(Angela)

IT'S PERFECT.

NOW, ALL THAT'S MISSING

IS A--

[sleigh bells ringing]

AND THERE IT IS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

(Angela)

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

I LOVE THIS DREAM.

OUCH!

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

KIND OF PUTS A KINK

IN YOUR DREAM THEORY, HUH?

HMM, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

OW!

[laughs]

I NEVER SAID:

I WAS DREAMING.

WELL, WHO SAID YOU WERE?

[laughing]

O CHRISTMAS TREE

O CHRISTMAS TREE

HOW LOVELY ARE:

THY BRANCHES...

WOW!

O CHRISTMAS TREE

O CHRISTMAS TREE

HOW LOVELY ARE:

THY BRANCHES...

NOW THIS IS CHRISTMAS!

MERRY--

CHRIS--

HI, EVERYONE!

THIS IS ANGELA.

UH, HI.

YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM,

DEAR.

WE HARDLY EVER GET STRANGERS

HERE.

I'M JOY.

OH, I'M SO SORRY.

I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE.

I DON'T--

NONSENSE!

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE.

WE HAVE A CHRISTMAS VISITOR,

EVERYONE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

WOW!

EVENING, EVERYONE!

(all)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

SORRY I'M LATE.

THE BAKERY'S JUS SO BUSY TODAY.

WELL, ISN'T IT ALWAYS?

SURE SEEMS LIKE IT.

[both laughing]

WHO'S THAT?

SHE JUST ARRIVED.

OH.

(Douglas)

MARIE!

THIS IS ANGELA.

VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

THANKS.

EVERYONE HERE'S

SO TERRIFIC.

OH, AREN'T YOU SWEET?

YEAH, AND SO INTO CHRISTMAS.

WELL...

WHAT ELSE WOULD WE BE?

ANGELA, WOULD YOU GIVE ME

A HAND IN THE KITCHEN?

SURE.

THIS IS AN AMAZING KITCHEN.

WHY, THANK YOU.

IT ALWAYS SEEMS:

TO GET THE JOB DONE.

IS THAT A CHRISTMAS GOOSE?

OF COURSE, DEAR.

I FORGOT THE YAMS.

WOULD YOU MIND?

UM, NO.

BUT WHERE ARE...

THEY'RE IN THE STOVE,

DEAR.

THE STOVE?

IT'S EMPTY.

HOW DID THIS--UH...

HMM.

OH, MY GOSH!

UM, JOY?

OH!

OH, I HAD NO IDEA

YOU'D BE SO HUNGRY.

LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU,

DEAR.

AH.

[stove door clangs shut]

UM, YOU THINK WE'LL NEED

SOME EXTRA YAMS AS WELL?

UH, NO,

I THINK WE'LL BE OKAY.

SO MARY RODE ON A DONKEY,

AND JOSEPH WALKED ALONGSIDE.

AND WHEN THEY GOT TO BETHLEHEM,

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