Snowmen Page #4

- But the snow has to be sticky.

- You're right.

But there's already a record

for world's tallest snowman,

and he's huge.

They said they used cranes

to build it.

Oh, look. There's cute

little tractor tires for the eyes.

Keep looking.

There has to be some other record

that uses snow, right?

Maybe we should do

the earlobe thing.

Oh, how about this?

Most snowmen built in one day.

That's really good.

What's the record?

In Hokkaido, Japan,

That's all?

I bet we could make

the bottom snowball in three minutes,

um, and the middle snowball

in two minutes,

and the head a minute.

That's easy!

Easy!

That's six minutes per snowman

and ten per hour,

and if we do it in 16 hours,

that's 160 snowmen each.

We'd only need, like, ten other guys

and we could destroy

the old record, right?

But, Billy, you forgot.

We're gonna need time to eat

or take a leak.

Then we'll just have

to make some of them faster.

That's why we're gonna test

how long it actually takes.

It's good snowball snow, right?

Good.

And we have an hour till sunset.

Okay, let's try and make

as many snowmen as possible.

Ready? Go.

That was an hour?

What? No way!

Hey, guys, guys.

Oome look.

I made a snowwoman.

Billy, we're gonna need

a lot more people to help us.

No, Petunia!

Hey, Billy, what are you doing?

Get inside.

You're still fighting a cold.

Yeah, whatever.

Sorry. I have a really

important question really fast.

Okay, what, what?

Really fast, what?

When you're at your work,

and you have

one of those really big sales,

how do you get everyone to come?

Why do you want to know that?

- Dad, I'm really cold.

- Wait, wait, wait.

- I need to know.

- Okay, okay, okay,

All right, all right, here.

Oome on.

I'll tell you really fast. Okay.

Okay, how do I get

everyone to come?

It's like throwing a good party.

You got to convince everyone

that everybody else is

gonna show up,

and then they all come.

But, I mean,

isn't that kind of lying?

Spinning.

I'm just telling people

what they want to hear.

I do the crazy commercials,

I put the posters up, the balloons.

People do not like missing out

on opportunities.

So whatever it is you're doing,

you got to make it seem

like it's a really big opportunity,

then they all show up.

Spinning.

Spinning.

Thanks, Dad.

Our secret.

Dad, okay.

Okay.

Sixth graders will all be there

to help you guys.

They promised,

so you can have a lot of fun.

Here's a flyer, mon.

Please join us next week, mon.

Here's a flyer.

We're gonna make

more snowmen in one day, mon.

It's gonna be great.

All the sixth graders promised

to help me and the kids.

Oome on Friday.

World record attempt!

Get your flyer!

Most snowmen in one day.

Much more easier than skating.

Ooh! Ooh! Oh!

Thank you!

Oh oh oh ohh!

The younger kids all say they can build

more snowmen than you guys.

Look at how many people signed up.

Okay,

so it's not even a hundred.

Maybe it's enough, mon.

No.

We need everyone helping,

every single kid and teacher.

We need to set a record so big,

no one can ever beat it,

so big no one will even try.

But we've already

asked everybody.

Billy?

Everyone, attention, please!

Oome on!

It's really important!

Guys, please, listen!

I'm Billy Kirkfield,

the kid who's dying,

But before I go,

I want to do something important.

So next week, I need you guys' help

to set a world record,

but I can't do it without all of you.

So, please,

it's my dying wish.

Oome on.

You got to give someone

his dying wish.

Please, you have to!

Hey, I want to sign up!

- Okay, good.

Take one and just sign on the back

and give it back to us after school.

Okay, so now we

only need to work on

getting sponsors

and the official guy.

Oh, man!

Why didn't you say anything?

- Sorry, mon.

- Sorry.

Make sure you get one!

Tell everybody!

When?

When were you going to tell me

about your little event?

Honestly, boys,

there's a lot more involved

in setting a world record

than making pretty posters.

We know that.

We've worked everything out.

I don't think you understand.

Well, the people at Guinness World Records

already approved it.

You actually spoke to them?

This is the letter they sent us.

And here's the contract.

We went over

all the rules and everything.

We got a sponsor, too.

The whole school gets

free pizza all day.

This is very impressive, boys,

very impressive.

But this requires certain people

and officials.

The mayor's coming

to do the official count.

The mayor's coming?

He said he'd be here

at the end of the school day,

at the same time as the news crews.

The news crews?

Uh, attention, everyone.

This is Billy Kirkfield.

I just wanted to thank everyone

who signed up

to help set a world record.

I just wanted to announce

that Principal Wetzel

now wants the whole school to help,

so that means that...

If you want to make snowmen

on Friday,

you get to skip classes.

Profound.

They don't give us money

for setting the record,

but we'll probably get paid

for, like, interviews

or commercials or something.

So, hopefully, we'll have enough money

to buy you a tombstone.

Oh, yeah, and we put your name

near the top of the list with ours,

so in a way,

you'll be remembered with us.

Hey, you don't sound sick

anymore.

Yeah, it's my last burst of energy.

That's what happens at the end,

so just make sure we set

the biggest world record possible.

It's warm out.

That means the snow is sticky.

That's good.

But it's too warm.

What if we don't have enough snow

to set the record?

There'll be enough.

It's too cold out here!

Then you should go inside,

and you'll be warm for a while.

But you know what?

Someday when you're so old

that you can't even

get out of bed to poop,

I bet you'd trade every single day

between now and then

just for one chance to do something

important with your life,

something that no one else

has ever done

and will never be able to do again.

So, please,

don't waste this chance!

Go, Billy!

Until every flake of snow

is off this field,

let's make snowmen!

# Moving forward

using all my breath #

# Being friends

with you was never second best #

# And I saw the world

crashing all around your face #

Whoa!

# Never really knowing

it was always mesh and lace #

# I'll stop the world

and melt with you #

# Let's stop the world #

# You've seen the difference,

and it's getting better all the time #

# There's nothing you and I won't do #

# Let's stop the world #

# I'll stop the world

and melt with you #

Hey, I got a joke for you.

What do you get when you

cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

I'll come back with more.

- Hey, want to hear a joke?

- Nope.

How do snowmen travel?

By-icicle. Get it?

By icicle.

By-icicle.

That's awesome.

Good job, guys, seriously.

Bicycle. By-icicle.

By-icicle.

I'll come back with more.

They eat iceberg-ers.

Ice burgers.

You know what else they like to eat?

- Lucas, stop bothering them.

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