Some Kind of Beautiful Page #3

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why this is so hard for me.

I've been trying

to tell you now for weeks.

- Alan's asked me to marry him.

- I'm in love with somebody else.

You're what?

We're getting married! Don't act

so surprised that somebody asked me.

- Are you on the phone?

- Who is it?

- Who are you talking to?

- Answer the question. Who is it?

- I just did!

- Who's on the phone?

- Hello?

- Kate! Kate!

- I have to call you back.

- What? Hello?

I was just, I mean... I was

really young, okay? Really young.

Not that you're not, of course.

But I really thought that I loved you,

but clearly I was working

through daddy issues.

And then I got pregnant, and you

were just trying to do the right thing.

And you've been a really good father, but

let's face it, you never really loved me.

- But Brian does.

- Brian? Brian?

That little idiot from the office?

He likes to talk to me about start-ups

and acquisitions and exit strategies.

I mean, all the stuff that you think

is so boring about me.

It is boring. God.

Why do you have to be so

goddamn English? Talk to me!

You can leave me,

but I am not leaving that boy.

Brian.

Richard,

why can't you just talk to me?

Now, I know two years in the pool house

makes me look a little a nut,

but I'll say two things.

First, your mom and Brian

hated me being there,

which was the most wonderful

incentive to stay.

And secondly...

I wanted to be close to you.

Good morning.

I think you're going

to want to see this.

- Oh, let me see it.

- Is the big bad professor awake yet?

Jake to Dad. Breaker, breaker.

You got your ears on?

- Okay.

- Are you awake?

- It's Jakey. Just a second.

- Get up! Are you having a sleepover?

Hi, Jakey! Good morning.

- Where are you?

- Can I come and play?

Just a second, Jakey.

- Hey.

- Hi!

Would you mind just skedaddling for now?

It's my son.

Your son? I love kids! I babysit!

- Sorry about this. The perils of parenthood.

- It's okay.

- Come and see me during the week.

- When?

- Make it a surprise.

- Oh, I love surprises! Okay, I will.

Okay, good-bye.

- Who was that?

- Oh, just a friend of mine.

Very busy lady. She had to leave.

There you go.

Aren't these uncomfortable?

That's why girls love it when you

take them off. Let's get some pancakes.

Dad, get on with it.

So there we were.

And then...

last week...

everything went pear-shaped.

I have the papers you asked for.

- Will that be all, professor?

- For now, yes, thanks.

Great.

Excuse me.

Newest member of the TA

of the month club?

How dare you insinuate such a thing?

- You have a visitor. Be nice.

- Send them in.

Thank you.

- Professor Pickard, what a delight!

- How's your father these days?

- Loving life. He is happy as a clam.

- That's good to hear.

Well, I received your application

for the position at the University.

I was in the area, so I thought I would

just pop by and invite you to a soire

- I'm giving tomorrow.

- Splendid.

The faculty will be there, of course.

I thought it might be a good idea if you do

come by and just sort of butter them up.

Not me, by the way.

I consider myself lavishly buttered.

Oh, well, that's good to know.

- So we'll see you there.

- Wouldn't miss it for the world.

"Dustin Kalarney"

just sold its 5 millionth copy.

- You're unbelievable.

- What?

Here I am, splayed out like an open-faced

sandwich so we can have a baby,

- and all you care about...

- Mr. Sloan.

Would you mind signing a copy

of your book for me?

- Of course. Did you like it?

- Are you kidding? It was great.

Really? Is that Desiree two Es or one E?

What the hell was that for?

Oops, it slipped.

Can I have my phone back, please?

There you go, you can do it.

Just concentrate.

- Nice big swing. That's it.

- Dad, I suck.

No, you don't, you don't.

You look great, just eye on the ball.

Who's here! Jakey, what up, dawg?

Yo, give me some love.

Blow it up. Blow it up.

- Jellyfish sting!

- Jellyfish sting!

Lots of love. We were just

playing a little ball here.

- Right. Sorry, sorry.

- That's all right. Okay.

What are you doing? You're a righty.

You got to switch your hands around.

- Come around there. Bat up!

- Eye on the ball. Hit it to Dad!

Sorry, Dad! Are you okay? Are you okay?

I'm okay, son. I'm all right.

Just... occupational hazard.

- That looks pretty bad.

- No, this. It's okay.

Jakey!

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Did you remember Atlanta?

- Yeah. No? Atlanta?

- Brian and I, four days, conference.

- Got it.

- We leave the day after tomorrow.

- Good. Sounds good. I'll be there.

- No, you'll be here.

- I'll be here.

- Yeah. Here's Jakey's schedule.

- Great.

I left a copy in your room

and another one on the fridge.

- All right. That's good.

- So, yeah.

I'm on it. Jawohl!

Okay.

No, I understand,

but I strongly believe that three slaves

is enough. It's enough. Come on.

You!

Dr. Collins!

Son of a b*tch!

Yeah!

Jesus.

Come in.

- Shouldn't you be at work?

- Yeah, covering the Asian markets.

Oh, hey, by the way, I can get you

in on a pretty sweet no-load.

These guys are killing it right now. I can

get you 15%, 18%. Just say the word.

The word is no.

What is it you want? I'm busy.

This letter came for you. It's about

your green card. I'm sorry.

- I opened it before I saw who...

- Just read it, Brian, thank you.

- I mean, you've opened it. Just read it.

- All right. "This is your final warning.

If you and your spouse fail to attend

your interview next week,

deportation proceedings

will be initiated."

Blimey, mate. Looks like you could be

in a spot of bother with the Bobbies.

Keep working on the accent, Brian.

Close the door on the way out.

- Cheerio.

- Shut up.

I love the dentist.

I'm not drooling, am I?

Hello, Mr. Haig.

You can't drink alcohol

when taking this medication.

- Really?

- Yes.

- No?

- No.

Absolutely not. Wouldn't dream of it.

Thank you so much.

- No alcohol.

- Good.

- We'll see you soon.

- Can't wait.

Look forward to it. Thank you so much.

- No alcohol.

- No alcohol.

- I mean it.

- I mean it, too.

Okay, let's go this way.

Any time you feel like it,

- jump in and lavish me with praise.

- Copy that.

- So glad you could make it!

- Oh, thank you!

- Here you are.

- Thanks. Wonderful.

Please, help yourself to refreshments.

My wife made her famous cheese balls.

Please be sure to try one

and compliment her accordingly.

Will do.

There are some very, very important

people here. I'd like you to meet them.

And they are your kind

of people, Richard.

Come this way.

My dear colleagues,

this is Richard Haig.

This is Professor Vale, Bates, Berg,

- Ang and Professor Jones.

- Hello.

Can we do that again?

I forgot your names already.

It is a damn shame we didn't hire you,

what was it, three years ago?

Three years, two months, 17 days.

But who's counting?

- You know, I met your father once.

- Oh, yeah?

He delivered a fascinating lecture,

a retort to Terry Hearst,

a hermeneutical reading

of Milton's "Paradise Lost."

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