Some Like It Hot Page #35

SUGAR:

(waiting for the

verdict)

Well -- ?

JOE:

I'm not quite sure. Try it again.

She does. As they break, she looks at him -- the suspense is

unbearable.

JOE:

(trying to diagnose

it)

I got a funny sensation in my toes --

like somebody was barbecuing them

over a slow flame.

SUGAR:

Lets throw another log on the fire.

Another kiss.

JOE:

I think you're on the right track.

SUGAR:

I must be -- because your glasses

are beginning to steam up.

She kisses him again.

WIPE TO:

INT. ROADHOUSE - NIGHT

Osgood and Jerry have now got the tango by the throat. Jerry

is dancing with his back to the CAMERA, and as Osgood whips

him around, we see that Jerry has the flower clamped between

his teeth. They reverse positions again, and Osgood grabs

the flower between his teeth.

WIPE BACK TO:

INT. SALON OF CALEDONIA - NIGHT

The radio is still on, and Joe and Sugar are just coming out

of their last kiss. Joe removes his glasses, which are now

completely fogged up.

JOE:

I never knew it could be like this.

SUGAR:

Thank you.

JOE:

They told me I was caputt -- finished --

washed up -- and now you're making a

chump out of all those experts.

SUGAR:

Mineral baths -- now really!

JOE:

Where did you learn to kiss like

that?

SUGAR:

Oh, you know -- Junior League --

charity bazaars -- I used to sell

kisses for the Milk Fund.

They kiss again.

JOE:

(going, going, gone)

Tomorrow, remind me to send a check

for a hundred thousand dollars to

the Milk Fund.

She doesn't have to kiss him any more -- he takes over now.

WIPE TO:

INT. ROADHOUSE - NIGHT

The chairs are stacked on the tables, and Osgood and Jerry

are the only couple on the floor. Osgood, wearing the flower

behind his ear, and massaging his behind with a tablecloth,

is tangoing with wild abandon around Jerry.

Suddenly he grabs Jerry, bends him over in a dashing dip.

They straighten up, dance a couple of steps, and now Jerry

returns the compliment -- he almost breaks Osgood's spine

with an even more dashing dip.

As for the Cuban musicians -- we now discover that Osgood

has kept his word. They are all blindfolded.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. YACHT AT ANCHOR - DAWN

Sugar and Joe are in the motorboat, gliding away from the

Caledonia toward the pier -- backwards, naturally. It is

quite romantic -- with the sun about to rise -- and the

incidental music augmenting the mood.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. PIER - DAWN

Joe and Sugar, his arm over her shoulder, walk dreamily toward

the hotel. From the other direction comes Osgood, twirling

the flower in his hand, and humming LA CUMPARSITA. As he

passes Sugar and Joe, he waves to them jauntily, then

continues toward the same motorboat which just deposited

them. He gets in, starts the motor, takes off.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HOTEL ENTRANCE - DAWN

Joe leads Sugar up to the steps, then stops and faces her.

JOE:

Good night.

SUGAR:

Good morning.

JOE:

How much do I owe the Milk Fund so

far?

SUGAR:

Eight hundred and fifty thousand

dollars.

JOE:

Let's make it an even million.

He gives her a final kiss. Sugar turns, starts up the steps,

then stops and comes back to him.

SUGAR:

I forgot to give you your receipt.

She kisses him, then floats through the entrance of the hotel.

Joe watches her till she is out of sight, then takes off his

glasses. He hurries up the steps, starts to climb up one of

the posts of the veranda.

INT. ROOM 413 - DAWN

Jerry, still in his evening gown, is stretched out on his

bed, gaily singing LA CUMPARSITA and accompanying himself

with a pair of maracas. Joe appears over the railing of the

balcony, steps through the window into the room.

JOE:

(exuberant)

Hi, Jerry. Everything under control?

JERRY:

Have I got things to tell you!

JOE:

What happened?

JERRY:

(beaming)

I'm engaged.

JOE:

Congratulations. Who's the lucky

girl?

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