Son in Law Page #9

Help ! Stop !

[ Howling ]

[ Walter, Sr. ]

The turkey had a heart attack ?

l don't know.

l never killed anything before.

Maybe he should give the turkey

a little kiss.

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Crawl ] That's real funny, guys.

[ Walter ]

Well, you know what they say, Crawl.

lf you kill 'em,

you gotta clean 'em.

Why are you

making me do this ?

lt's all part

of being a farmer.

Now, reach down there and grab them

tail feathers, start jerking them out...

- and work yourself forward.

Jerk 'em on out of there.

- [ Screams ]

[ Everyone Yelling,

Turkey Gobbling ]

lt's a miracle !

[ lndistinct Yelling ]

[ Horn Honking ]

Oh, there's my ride.

Like to hang, gotta go. Bye.

- [ Zack ] Whoa !

- [ Walter, Sr. ] Junior !

[ lndistinct Yelling ]

[ Party Guests ]

Drink that beer, boy !

That's it ! Bottoms up !

- Okay, Crawl, drink it down !

- Yeah !

[ Belches ] Dude, you should invest

in a beer bong, bro.

The thing with the funnel, the hoo.

You throw the whole case

in there, man.

Hey, dude, you shoot

the whole thing out. Toast, buddy !

[ Travis ] You know,

l didn't like you much at first,

but now that l got to know ya,

you're okay.

l still think you suck,

but you're a hell of a drinker, pard.

This is it ! A toast !

- To Crawl !

- [ Theo ] To Crawl !

And Rebecca, your ex-chick,

my new fiance.

[ Laughs ]

Hey, City.

Yeah ! Get down !

All right, man, this is it.

Go, go, go !

- Go ! Go on ! Go !

- Go on ! Suck it up, buddy !

- [ Travis Hooting ]

- l'm gonna go sing.

- [ Belches ]

- Great. All right.

[ Crawl ]

Hello. Hi, how ya doin' ?

Cool. Okay, this is a song

that really means a lot to me.

? Well, life on the farm

is kind of laid back ?

? Ain't much an old country boy

like me can't hack ?

? Early to rise

Early in the sack ?

? Thank God

l'm a country boy ?

? Well, city folks drivin'

in a black limousine ?

- ? A lot of sad people-- ??

- Sorry to interrupt,

but are you guys ready

for some real entertainment ?

[ Crowd Cheering ]

[ Jukebox Plays ''T-R-O-U-B-L-E''

by Travis Tritt ]

Whoo !

[ Party Guest ]

Shake it, mama ! Shake it !

? Street talkin', sexy walkin'

honky-tonkin' baby ?

? The men are gonna love ya

and the women gonna hate ya ?

? Remindin' them of everything

they're never gonna be ?

? Maybe they'll begin

another World War lll ?

? 'Cause the world ain't ready

for nothin' like Y-O-U ?

? l bet your mama must have been

another good-lookin' mama too ?

? Say hey

good L-O-O-K-l-N-G ?

? Well, l smell

T-R-O-U-B-L-E ?

- [ Crowd Cheering ]

- ? l said hey ?

- Nugs !

- ? l said hey ?

? l said hey, l said hey ?

? l said hey ?

? Well, l smell

T-R-O-U-B-L-E ??

Uh ! l was just

getting started.

No, baby, baby, baby !

Y'all can take me on !

That was great, Tracy.

That was great. That was great.

No, no, no ! Come on.

lt's a party ! Let's go. Drink up.

[ Cheering ]

[ Crowing ]

Ah, morning. Happy turkey day.

ls the coffee ready ?

Help yourself, Theo.

Zack, can you bring those spices

over here please, sir ?

So, uh, where's

Mr. Farmer this morning ?

Oh, l imagine he's up there

in his room sleeping it off, huh, Zack ?

Not in my room.

He never came home last night.

- Really ?

- [ Theo ] Might check out in the barn.

Heard a lot of huffin' and puffin'

out there last night.

- Oh, Crawl, poor guy.

- That's how he got his nickname.

Crawl ?

[ Crawl Groaning ]

[ Groaning ]

Oops.

What ?

Sorry, you guys,

l didn't mean to--

l'm sorry.

l'm just gonna be going now.

Wait ! Becca !

lt-- Ow.

lt's not what you think !

l don't think.

Do you think ?

- Oh, the wedding is off !

- Stop !

Good mornin'.

Becca, please, just wait.

- Just--

- These are the days of our lives.

[ Crying ]

Oh, God !

[ Crawl ]

Becca ?

Look, l'm sorry.

- Oh, forget it.

lt was all a big joke anyway, right ?

- No.

Not for me.

l'm into you.

- Yeah, until Tracy shows up.

You into her too ?

- Listen, last night...

l'm at the bachelor party, l'm doin'

karaoke and then l wake up in the barn.

That's all l remember

what happened, l swear.

Oh, Crawl !

You are such a hypocrite !

God, you waltz in here telling everyone

to be honest with each other,

and the least you could do

is be honest with me.

l'm being honest.

[ Sighs ] That you blacked out

and woke up with Tracy ?

My God, you must think

l'm stupid. l am stupid.

l never should have brought

you here in the first place.

Why did you bring me here, Becca ?

Because it was Thanksgiving

and you were alone.

You knew Travis was gonna

propose to you, huh ?

- Oh, please. l felt sorry for you.

- ''Please'' to you.

Spare me. You needed someone

to shield you from Travis...

- because you couldn't

even deal with it yourself.

- That is not true.

Have you told anybody the truth ?

Talk about hypocrites.

Hey, l don't even want

to be your friend.

Fine.

Here's your ring.

Fits better on my finger

anyways. See ?

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

What are you doin' here ?

l don't know.

What happened last night ?

You tell me.

Well, l woke up in the barn,

but l, l can't remember anything.

Yeah, well,

l'll tell you what happened.

You and Crawl were all over each other

when you left the bar last night.

Why don't you

take it from there.

l was only gonna dance for him.

After what we had together ?

Man, l thought l knew you.

You are so low.

- [ Walter ] Honey, you okay ?

- Fine.

- Where are you going ?

- Out.

[ Rooster Crowing ]

Becca, what happened ?

[ Sighs ] Everything.

Wait up ! Wait !

- So l take it there's not

going to be a wedding ?

- You got that right.

lt's too bad.

Believe it or not,

l was looking forward

to having you as a brother-in-law.

So where are you heading ?

Back to California...

where it's normal.

Okay. Well, if you find

a baby-fresh nug out there,

send her my way.

[ Clicking ]

You got it.

Take care, all right ?

Be good.

- Okay.

- [ Squeezing Sound ]

- [ Mimics Crawl ]

- Hmm, you made the sound well.

You can have my hat only

if l could squeeze your cheeks.

- Squeeze.

- Yeah.

[ Laughs ]

Take care, buddy.

Later. Thanks for the cot.

Look, we all make mistakes.

- l'm just so confused.

- Listen, it's natural.

You go away from home

the first time,

you, you try new things.

Yeah, l just, l mean, you know,

l thought l knew him and--

Look, those L.A. people are slick.

l mean, they are not like us.

They're on a different wavelength.

l tried to tell ya.

[ Sniffling ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

Ah, ah, ah.

- Get in.

- l think we spent

enough time together, don't you?

Look, we need to talk, now.

All right.

[ Muttering ]

Look, about last night. l think

there's something you should know about.

Yeah. l just wish l could

remember if l was good or not.

- Well...

- [ Tires Screeching ]

- Sh*t.

- Everybody, sit down.

Here comes our bird.

[ Travis ]

lt's really great, you all inviting me.

- Oh, that's a beautiful bird,

Mrs. Warner.

- Thank you, Travis.

- You always were a great cook.

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