Son in Law Page #8

[ Cheering ]

Yeah ! Oh, Horse,

you're the man !

[ Connie Giggling ]

Oh, Bull.

[ Both Giggling ]

Oh, Dad, you missed

one heck of a party.

[ Whistling ]

What was it, a Halloween party ?

- Dad.

- Yeah, l tell you, l'm sure worn out.

Think l'm gonna go on upstairs

and get a little shut-eye.

[ Low ]

You coming up ?

- Yeah.

- We need to talk, Junior.

Uh, uh, Dad, give me

a little rain check on that, okay ?

- Ah, what--

- Oh ! Whew !

Did you see that Horacey, man ?

You had Wasco rockin' !

Forget about Wasco.

Think about your parents right now.

l mean, you dad's gettin' busy.

l know. l have never seen them

like this before.

Oh... thanks, Crawl.

- You really saved me this week.

- Becca, l'm a friend...

and l'm at your service.

lf it wasn't for you,

l'd probably be engaged right now.

You are engaged.

Oh, yeah.

Don't mind me, nobody else does.

Good night, Crawl.

Oh. Thank you, Pappy.

- Good night, Pappy.

- Good night, Shortcake.

Oh, sh*t.

Can l please

whittle wood with you ?

All right.

Grab a piece of wood.

- You know l majored

in Creative Woods, right ?

- Uh-huh.

- Second freshman year.

- Here.

Huh !

[ Crowing ]

- Sounded like you and Walter

were gettin' busy.

- Rebecca !

Mm-hmm.

What ?

[ Laughs ]

Oh, honey, l don't believe you.

- Crawl !

- Thanks for leaving me

with a semi last night.

lt's okay, it's okay.

Zack hooked me up...

with last month's issue--

The poisons have left the building.

- Thank God.

- Good morning, everybody.

Morning, Dad.

- Beautiful day.

- Oh !

- Bull !

- Ooh, Walter.

- What is that one ?

- Fishing.

- lt's called ''Whopper.''

- [ Crawl ] Walt !

- Dig the gear.

Big fishing expedition, huh ?

- Oh, yeah.

Mmm. Can l come ?

Um, oh, l don't think so.

- Oh, come on, honey.

Let him go with you.

- Well, now wait a minute.

l gave Dad a rain check on a talk

we were supposed to have this morning.

Well, that's okay, sir,

'cause l'm just gonna stay here

and take the combine out.

- [ Whispering ] Let him go with you.

- All right, you can come.

Well, all right, sir.

l think, l think, l, well,

l think you made a right choice.

Zack, l threw your gear

in the truck out there.

- Come on. Let's go fishin'.

- [ Laughing ]

l don't feel like it.

Well, suit yourself.

Bring me a big one.

Ow ! Let's go, hotshot.

- Nasty !

- Girlfriend, girlfriend, aaaaaahh.

So, Walter, don't hold out

on me, dude. Did you get her ?

No, no, no, no.

No, look.

lt's all in the wrist.

See ? You just pop it up,

pop it out there,

flick it a couple of times.

Just drives those trout wild.

No, no, no, no.

You got your--

You got your rod upside down.

Turn it over. Turn your rod--

That's right. All right.

Now, go ahead. Pop it out.

No, just one hand.

Just do it with one hand.

That's right. Go ahead.

Ah, sh*t.

Look, l'll tell you what. Why don't

you put the fish that Dad and l catch...

into the bucket

'til you get the hang of it.

- Look, l'm really sorry.

- lt's all right.

- l got one !

- He got one !

See, Junior ?

That's how you do it.

Yeah, over the head.

That's the way to do it.

l never could understand

that sidearm business of yours.

Yeah, well, that's

the way l like to do it.

- Yeah, well, it don't make it right.

- Yeah, well, whatever.

You get some kind of pleasure

out of not listenin' to me ?

Aw, look, Dad, l just don't want to have

this conversation anymore, okay ?

l got a particular way

l like to do things and that's it.

- Just give me a little room.

- A little room, huh ?

Room you want ?

You got it ! l tell you,

- it never fails-- l try to help him,

- Every time.

- try to teach him something,

and what happens ?

- Every single time.

He turns on me

like a viper in the grass.

He is one ungrateful son of a b*tch and

l'm gonna tell it to him to his face.

[ Walter, Sr. Continues, lndistinct ]

- You know, l kind of feel sorry

for you, Mr. Warner.

- What ?

Well, your dad, you know.

l've been noticing the way

he's always treatin' you.

Oh, he's been like that as long as

l can remember the son of a b*tch.

Kind of like the way you

get down on Zack for the way

he does things, too, huh ?

l'm sorry.

You talkin' about the way he plays with

those stupid computer games all day ?

Those aren't just games to him.

That's what he's into.

He's not asking you to do it, is he ?

He just wants some room too.

Yeah, well, uh, uh...

who asked you ?

l'm sorry.

- [ Groaning ]

- Dad !

Dad !

- [ Gasping ]

- Dad, come here. Lay down here.

Where are your pills ?

ln, in my jacket in the truck.

Help.

Assess the situation.

Gramps is dying.

Okay. C.P.R.

Right ! Okay.

- Tilt the head back.

- [ Gasping ]

- Plug the nostrils.

- [ Gasping ]

And administer mouth-to-mouth.

[ Screaming ]

- What happened ? What happened ?

- Geez.

- He tried to kiss me.

- Dude, l was doin' C.P.R.

l know what l'm doin'.

- l majored in it for a half semester.

- Here.

Well, if it's between my dyin'...

or him kissin' me,

l'd rather die.

Hey, guys.

Catch anything ?

- Come on. Here, let me help you.

- ls he okay ?

- Come on, Dad.

- You're gonna be okay, all right ?

-Just shake it out.

-You're not dizzy or anything, are you ?

- Dad, are you okay ? Something happen ?

- Nothing to be alarmed about.

- Are you sure ?

- He just had a spell.

- l'm okay. l'm all right.

- Let's go inside.

- Crazy kid nearly kissed me.

- Listen, um, um, Crawl, l just...

want you to know how much l appreciate

what you did for my dad back there.

Look, it's no problem.

What did you do out there ?

We need to talk.

So what happened out there today ?

Crawl ?

Crawl ?

Would you just talk to me ?

[ Sighs ]

- What ?

- Rebecca, l don't want

to lie to 'em anymore.

Oh, Crawl, you're not

doing this to me now.

l told you, we're gonna get

back to school and l'll call...

- and l'll tell 'em we broke up.

- Yeah, but your dad took me fishing.

All right ?

We bonded. Finally.

l like your family, Rebecca.

l like 'em a whole bunch.

And that's why

l don't want to ruin it.

We just have two more days.

- Look, l don't care, Rebecca.

- Oh, God.

Either you tell 'em

or l'm gonna tell 'em.

Okay.

- Okay, l'll tell 'em. Yes !

- Are you gonna tell 'em ?

[ Cow Mooing ]

- Hey, City.

- Hey, Theo.

Ever pick out your own turkey

for Thanksgiving ?

Yeah, Stouffers,

Swansons and Butterballs.

This ain't no supermarket, boy.

- Uh, hey. How ya doin', man ?

- Gobble, gobble, man.

All right, partner.

You should do some aerobics

and bail the belly, man.

Yeah, okay, cool. Listen, take this.

Sometimes these things can be vicious.

- Are you gonna cruise in with me ?

- Oh, l don't think so.

Ow.

[ Laughing ]

- Get on over there and get dinner, boy.

- Chop its head off ?

- Yeah, if you can catch him.

- [ Mumbling Gibberish ]

No, no, no, no !

[ Screaming ]

- [ Screaming ]

- [ Laughing ]

l'm innocent !

Theo told me to do it !

Stay back !

l was just kidding !

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