Son in Law Page #7

l know it now.

? Cakes on the griddle ?

Don't drive across those rows !

? Funny, funny riddle

Thank God l'm a country boy ?

Ya-hoo ! Billy Ray Cyrus

eat your heart out !

- Come on, Theo !

- l ain't no jogger !

Ohhh, U-turn !

- Whoa !

- [ Crawl ] Look out, Theo.

- l'm gonna plow ya !

- Oh, no !

- [ Laughing ]

- ? Well, l fiddled with my daddy

'til the day he died ?

- [ Hooting ]

- ? He took me by the hand

led me close to his side ?

- ? Said ''Fiddle with life

play the fiddle with pride'' ?

- Come back, Theo. We're a team !

- 'Member ?

- Oh, l hate that guy ! l hate him !

- [ Hooting ]

- ? Well, my daddy taught me young

how to hunt and to whittle ?

? Taught me how to work and play

a tune on the fiddle ?

? Taught me how to love and how

to give just a little ?

? Whoo, thank God

l'm a country boy, yeah ??

[ Grunting ]

She drives pretty good, but

the first gear's a little bit tricky.

[ Crawl ]

Yee-ha.

?? [ Humming ]

- Sweetie !

- Oh-oh !

Oh, my God. l'm sorry. Hey. God.

l thought you were Becca.

Well, l'm not.

So if you don't mind--

Oh, l don't wanna be rude

or anything, but, Mrs. Warner,

you're givin' me a semi.

- Well, thank you very much,

but, uh, l really--

- Can l ask you a question ?

- l suppose.

- Why don't you, um,

put a little makeup on ?

l mean, look how--

You're a beautiful lady.

l mean, look at this. Enhance your

outer beauty with your inner beauty.

What for ?

You act like you're

60 or something.

Where l come from, nugs stay active

'til they're senile, man.

You are ripe, Mom. Look at you.

You're like a peach on a windowsill.

Look at that.

Look at the package.

- You are nasty.

- Nasty ?

Aaaaahhhh !

Girlfriend, girlfriend.

- [ Hooting ]

- Don't be ridiculous, Crawl.

l don't believe you.

- Look at this ! Come on.

You're getting excited.

- No, no, absolutely not.

- l can see it ! You're getting excited.

- lt's ridiculous.

- You liked it. [ Sighs ]

- Thank you very much.

Look, you got a decent base goin'.

You got a lot to work with.

- Go away, Crawl !

- Just give me five minutes...

and if you don't like my work

we'll go back to same old Connie.

Come on. Please.

Aaaahhhh !

[ Laughs ]

Connie !

Come on, let's go, everybody.

We're gonna be late !

Oh, that's, uh...

quite an outfit.

Look... l'm sorry.

No, uh, l'm the one that

should be sorry, Rebecca.

lt's just that, well, l've been

a little bit out of sorts lately...

and, um, well, l just want you

to know that l'm still...

just real proud of you, honey.

Thanks...

Daddy.

- Connie, let's go !

- [ Connie ] You go on, Walter.

- Go get me a bustier.

- Bustier.

Crawl and l will be right behind you

in the Ford. l'm changing.

? Oh, heel, toe, do-si-do ?

? Come on, baby

let's go boot scootin' ?

? Yeah, Cadillac Blackjack ?

? Baby, meet me out back

We're gonna boogie ?

? Well, get down, turn around ?

? Go to town

Boot scootin' boogie ?

? l said get down

turn around, go to town ?

? Boot scootin' boogie ?

? Well, get down, turn around ?

? Go to town

Boot scootin' boogie ??

[ Crowd Laughing, Clapping ]

- ?? [ Slow Country ]

- [ Man ] Come on, y'all.

- This is the last slow one.

- What did you do ?

- Do you like it ?

- Uh, well, it-it's a little, uh--

Excuse me, would you

like to dance ?

Hell, no.

Get outta here.

Sheesh.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Both Laugh ]

- Hey.

- You're a hottie.

- Oh, my, thank you.

- ? And the way you look tonight ?

- You don't like it, do you ?

- No, l think l do.

l, uh-- Well, l--

l think l like it a lot.

- [ Laughs ]

- You're a genius.

- So you're saying you likes ?

- l likes.

? Keep that breathless charm ?

Over here, Edgar.

? Won't you please arrange it

'cause l love you ?

Check out the wood

that l created for him.

- [ Laughing ]

- ? And the way you look tonight ??

[ Humming ]

Hello.

- Hey, good to see--

- Excuse me. Ow ! Ow !

Don't hit me ! Don't hit me !

Come on, relax.

l just came by to apologize.

- Oh, right.

- [ Travis ] No, l'm serious.

l feel really bad about

what l did, you know ? Yeah,

and l want to make it up to you.

- Come on. Yeah, yeah.

- Really ? What did ya have in mind ?

Well, l was thinkin' about

throwing you a bachelor party.

You know, have a few laughs and stuff.

What do you think ?

- Come on.

- l'd really like that a lot, Travis.

- l'll pick you up tomorrow night.

- Cool. Wait, watch this.

- What ? Oh, yeah ? No--

- Ah, buddy, hug ?

Dude, l hug my friends.

- [ Laughing ]

- Thanks, dude.

- All right.

- Travis, it's really cool of you.

Well, you know,

l care a lot about you...

-and l just want you to be really happy.

-Thanks.

- What a splendid person.

- Hmm.

All right, let's have

some real dancin', gang. Square 'em up.

[ Cheering, Hooting ]

? Well, gonna bow

to the partner ?

? Then you turn and bow

to the corner of the hall ?

- ? Go into the middle

with a cowboy yell ?

- Ya-hoo !

[ Square Dance Calling

Continues, lndistinct ]

- l heard about last night.

- Hey, hey, come on, come on, please.

Listen, l need a favor.

- Here ?

- No. Come on. Will you help me ?

You comin' over tonight ?

- Yeah.

- l'll wait up for you.

[ Square Dance Calling

Continues, lndistinct ]

[ Gasps ]

Crawl, look at them.

Cool parents.

- Hey, Slick.

You gettin' mighty friendly...

- Yeah ?

- with old City over there, ain't you ?

- So ?

- l'm throwin' him a bachelor party.

- What ?

? Farmin' girl promenade

and go 'round the world ?

? Get back home

and when you get there ?

? Join up hands

Circle to the left ?

? Left allemande

then promenade ?

Keep going, gang.

We'll be right back.

Keep on going.

l'm gonna get some punch.

- Hey, Horace.

- Watch this.

? Now grab a nug

whose cones are busty ?

? Weiz her gig

and make her crusty ?

? Grab your dude

Don't use roughness ?

? Move in close

and groove his buffness ?

? Buff the wood, buff the wood

Come on, buff the wood ?

- ? B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Buff the wood ?

What ? Dude, get off.

- Give me the mike.

- They're enjoying themselves. Come on.

- This is square dancing.

l don't care if it's, like,

circular dancing, bro.

Come on. Look, they're havin' a blast.

Are you guys havin' fun ?

[ Dancers Cheering ]

Yeah !

- Man, come on. Horace.

- This is square dancing.

No, go on. Get outta here.

Dude, l'll go off.

Come on, buddy.

- [ Crowd Cheering ]

- Do you want to do it some more ?

[ Crowd ]

Yeah !

Yeah !

- What the hell.

- Cool. Thanks.

? lf your gal is finger lickin' ?

? Come on now

and do the funky chicken ?

[ Clucking ]

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Clucking ]

Yeah ! Whoo !

? Now spin together

if your nuglet's willin' ?

? Shake your booty

then start chillin' ??

- Say, ''Chill.''

- Chill !

- Say, ''Chill, chill.''

- Chill, chill !

[ lndistinct Grunting, Screams ]

[ Cheering ]

Step up to bat, brother.

Go with it, man. Just do it.

Feel the breeze and let it fly.

- Ah, yeah, 7 47.

- [ Crowd Gasps ]

[ Woman ]

Horace, are you okay ?

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