Sons of the Desert Page #3

We're seeing as much here

as we could've seen in Honolulu.

Hey, what's the laugh? I don't get it.

Shall we tell him?

Our wives think that

we're in Honolulu for my health.

You're pulling a fast one, huh?

(CHARLEY):
Oh, boy!

What did I tell you?

We've been to the convention, had a swell time,

we're going home in the morning

and nobody's any the wiser.

By the way, what part of California

are you fellows from?

Los Angeles.

Los Angeles? What a small world,

what a small world!

I've got a sister who lives out there.

No kidding. I haven't laid eyes on her

since I got out of reform school!

I've got a great idea for a gag. Know what I'll do?

I'm going to call her up long-distance and

disguise my voice so she won't know who it is!

Oh, that's a ''Dob''!

Hey, waiter! Another bottle of bubble water.

I'll be right back!

(THE PHONE RINGS)

Hello? Hello?

- Here's your long-distance call.

- Oh, swell!

Hello? Hello? Hello?

(IN A GROWLING VOICE)

I'll bet you can't guess who this is!

Alright, who is it?

It's your little brother Charlie.

Well, for goodness' sake!

It's my brother Charlie.

Where are you?

I'm in Chicago.

They're throwing a convention for me.

Well, fancy hearing from you after all these years.

I haven't seen you since you sang in the choir.

And you used to pump the organ, remember?

You little organ pumper, you!

Listen, I want you to talk to a fellow

from Los Angeles. A swell guy.

Wait a minute. Here, go ahead.

Hello? So this is Charlie's sweet little sister.

I feeljust like I know you.

Charlie tells me you're from Los Angeles.

What part?

All of me!

What did she say?

She asked me if I was from Los Angeles

and I said, ''Yes''.

Then she said, ''What part?''

and I said, ''All of me!''

Wasn't that a ''Dob''?

You little jokester.

When you get back to town, drop in and see me.

I'd just love to have you meet my husband.

I sure will! What's the address?

Write this down.

2-2-2-2 Fairview Avenue.

2-2...

Eh... Goodbye, sugar.

- What did you hang up for?

- We had a bad connection.

- But isn't she a swell gal?

- She sure is.

- Uh-oh.

- What's the matter, Lottie?

If I didn't know that Oliver was in Honolulu,

I'd swear that was him on the phone.

They're in Honolulu, alright.

But Stanley wouldn't dare lie to me.

I'd hate to think what would happen

if he ever did.

Let these fellows have a chance. Come on!

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- Jack, how are you?

- Glad to see you.

- Am I glad to see you!

- Aahh!

Do you know that's my wife?

Texas 97!

New York 43!

New York 47!

(NEWSPAPER VENDOR): Extra paper!

Get your evening paper!

Honolulu liner sinking! Extra!

Lottie, Lottie! Look!

I just read it. What are we going to do?

I'll telephone the steamship company

and ask if they've got a list of survivors.

No! No, we go down there.

Go on, get your hat!

Alright, I'll meet you outside.

(MAN AT COUNTER): Quiet, please!

Mr Ruthbert has a radiogram he wishes to read.

(MAN ON COUNTER):

This is the latest wireless report.

''Honolulu Steamship Company, Los Angeles.''

''The survivors of the ill-fated liner

have been transferred to the rescue ship.''

''A list of the casualties will be made known

as soon as a complete check-up is made.''

''Expect to arrive in port in 36 hours.''

Signed, Captain John Zilo.

Oh, Betty. I do hope the boys are safe.

The suspense is just killing me!

Have courage, Lottie.

Let's not think of the worst.

Well, I try not to, but...

I'm so worried about Oliver.

You know how unselfish he always was.

He wouldn't leave that ship

until everybody was saved.

Well, if they're safe,

Oliver certainly deserves a medal.

- You know, Stanley can't swim a stroke.

- Oh, I never thought of that!

Here you are, old man. Just keep the change.

(CAR DRIVES OFF)

(STANLEY RINGS DOORBELL)

(OLIVER):
# Honolulu Baby

# Where did you get those eyes

# And your dark complexion

that I idolise?

# Honolulu Baby

where did you get those eyes

# And your dark complexion

that I idolise?

# Honolulu Baby

where did you get those eyes

(STANLEY KNOCKS ON DOOR)

# and your dark complexion that I idolise?

Maybe they're in Betty's house.

(STANLEY RINGS DOORBELL)

(OLIVER):
# Honolulu Baby

# Where did you get those eyes

# And your dark complexion

that I idolise?

# Honolulu Baby

where did you get those eyes

# And your dark complexion

that I idolise?

# Honolulu Baby...

Aloha! Baby's here!

Aloha! Baby's here!

Aloha!

Get that thing out of the way!

Aloha!

(OLIVER):
Aloha!

Baby's home, sugar!

Get out of my way!

Aahh!

- I wonder where she is.

- Maybe she went out.

I know she went out,

but what I'd like to know is where did she go!

- Maybe she went to the mountains with Betty.

- That's probably just where she is.

She makes me sick!

She knew we were coming today.

Why did she go to the mountains?

Well, if she didn't go to the mountains,

Mohammed would have to come here.

What has Mohammed got to do with my wife?

(STANLEY READING): ''Notes from the clubs''.

- Ooohh!

- What's the matter?

''Honolulu liner sinking.

Foundering in typhoon.''

''Passengers and crew on SS Muana

in panic as wireless fails.''

''Sister ship Leuana reaches

scene of disaster in 90 mile gale.''

''Rescue ship due back

in Los Angeles harbour tomorrow.''

- Oh...

- Oh!

Can you beat that?

I'm sure glad we didn't go.

If we had...

Ooohh! What are we going to do?

We've got to get out of here.

We'll spend the night in a hotel.

Put that paper down and let's go!

Get that!

Pick that up so they won't know

that we've been here.

- (LOTTIE):
Betty, let me...

- (BETTY):
No, I'll pay.

Take everything!

(OLIVER):
Aaahhh!

We'll hide. No, not there! Get up!

- Come on, get...

- Ooohh!

Oh! Get...

- Betty, did you hear that?

- I certainly did.

There's no one in there.

Betty, I could have sworn

I heard that door close.

It's probably our imagination.

We're both so nervous and upset.

Oh, Betty! Do you really think that they're safe?

Don't worry, dear. Let's think for the best.

Oh...

Alright. Ooh!

I have the strangest feeling. I...

I feel as if they were hovering right over me!

Don't talk that way! You give me the jitters!

I'm just going all to pieces!

- If you're going to act that way, I'm going.

- Don't leave me, Betty! Don't leave me here!

We've got to

face this situation with determination.

(LOTTIE):
I know, I'm doing the best I can.

- Do you think they saw us?

- Of course not!

If they had, they'd be up here. To catch a Hardy

they have to get up very early in the morning.

- What time?

- About half past... What time!

(HORN SOUNDS)

(HORN SOUNDS)

Shh!

Be careful! Do you want them to hear us?

How are we going to get to a hotel?

Simple. We'll go down through Betty's house.

Locked.

- It looks like we're here for the night.

- We can't sit up here all night.

We are not going to sit up all night.

We'll fix ourselves a nice bed and

be just as comfortable as two peas in a pod.

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