Sordid Lives Page #7

""So talented.

""Your soul runs deep...

""and you ain't hard on the eyes either.

I'm glad I knew you. Love, Ben.''

""Glad I knew you.''

Past tense.

Then there was:

""P.S., come out, come out

wherever you are and get happy.''

But I can't.

'Cause I care too much.

Especially down there in Texas.

Why do I care?

Why the f*** do I care?

I'll tell you another thing

I can't get off of my mind.

- Oh, hell.

- That eleven-hundred pound man.

I swear to Christ,

if you tell that one again...

I'm gonna beat you half to death.

- They had to rescue him--

- Put your hands over your heads

and don't anybody make a move!

Right now! Move it!

Noleta, what the hell

you think you're doing, woman?

We just watched Thelma and Louise

and we're pissed.

-At men.

-All men! Especially the three of y'all.

- Hey,Juanita.

- Hey, sugar. How you doing?

What are you

pissed at me for?

What'd I ever do?

You live and breathe, Odell.

So just shut up and stop

asking questions.

- We'll ask the questions, okay?

- Okay!

You make me sick, G.W.

Just lookin' at you makes me

wanna kill you dead.

- Come on, Noleta. Now--

- It's Thelma!

- I thought I was Thelma.

- No. Thelma's the one

with the shitty husband.

Hey, I said hands over your head, G.W.

You too, Wardell!

I mean it. Now.

- Okay. Okay.

- Well, hello there, Wardell.

Hi, LaVonda.

You're lookin' good.

Yeah? Well, I work at it.

You and your nitwit brother over there

beat up any queers lately?

- Hey, I ain't no nitwit.

- Liar!

- Y'all are drunk.

- No sh*t. And I'm on Valium too.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

Thirty-two-O-nine.

LaVonda, I feel real bad

over that incident with Brother Boy.

- Ohh. You feel bad, huh?

- Yeah.

- He feels bad.

- Bad.

You feel bad and he's rotting

in a crazy farm because of you!

Well, big deal, Wardell.

It's time to get even.

- That happened over 20 years ago!

- I don't wanna hear about it...

so you just shut the hell up.

- And I mean it.

- Okay. Okay. Don't shoot.

- I don't like this.

- I don't know why you boys

are peeing in your Wranglers.

Them guns ain't loaded.

And even if they was, they wouldn't

have the gumption to shoot.

[ Wheezing Laugh ]

- [ Gunshot ]

- [ Screams ]

Whoo-hoo-hoo! In the words ofThelma,

""I think I got a knack for this sh*t.''

- Oh.

- You sure do

That was a nice shot, Thelma.

Thanks, Louise,

but I was aiming for his head.

- Now, come on, Noleta.

- It's Thelma, you shithead!

Okay! Okay! Thelma then!

Now, listen. I know I messed up,

but what you gotta understand...

is that I wasn't exactly

getting what a man needs at home.

- What?

- Uh-oh.

- Ooh.

- I hope you're not gonna try

to justify your actions, G.W....

'cause, buddy boy,

you don't have a leg to stand on.

- Except them wooden ones. [ Cackles ]

- Oh! That's a good one!

- That's a good one.

- What we need to do, you and I--

Shut up until I say otherwise...

'cause I have something I gotta say.

Why'd you do it, G.W.?

-That's what I'm trying to--

-Don't answer that.Just think about it.

Do you know what it feels like

to be humiliated?

-Just--

-Don't answer that!Just think about it!

Well, I do. I can't even go out

in my own hometown anymore,

because everyone knows.

Everybody's out there pointing

and whispering.

""There she is. Poor pitiful thing.

Bless her heart.''

God! White trash even feel sorry for me.

That's true. That's very, very true.

I mean, everybody knows

that you were carrying on

with my best friend's mother.

And that coulda really ruined

me and LaVonda's friendship, you know?

Did you think about that?

-I--

-Don't answer that!Just think about it!

But it didn't. And you know why?

Because we're big enough not to let it.

- Mm. You got that right.

- Ooh. You know,

he shouldn't have said that.

- What'd you say?

- I said...

you're certainly big enough.

Why do you think I did it?

You got as big as a barn.

And who the hell

wants to climb that mountain?

I am on a diet, you a**hole!

- That's it! Take off your shirt!

- What?

- Take off your damn shirt. I mean it.

I'll blow your head right off.

- Okay. Okay.

You too, boys. Take off your shirts.

- What are y'all doing?

- Getting even. What the hell

are you waitin' on, Odell?

- [ Shotgun Blast ]

- Okay! Okay!

- Oh! This is gettin' good.

- That one. Take off that one too.

No. What this is gettin' is ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

You wanna hear ridiculous?

- Okay.

- It's ridiculous...

for you to b*tch about my weight...

when you go around lookin' like

you're six months pregnant!

- I mean, look at that gut, LaVonda!

- Lord.

- It's time to butcher that hog.

- He's sucking in too.

I raised your kids, G.W.

I was as faithful as the day was long.

Cooked you supper every night.

And you just sh*t all over

our wedding vows.

You just sh*t all over 'em!

And I've lost weight!

We did Jenny Craig's, lost 42 pounds.

Forty-two goddamn pounds.!

And he didn't even notice!

Never even said one thing!

Yeah, well,

that'd kinda be like the Titanic

losing a couple of deck chairs.

- You know, you really are a sh*t, G.W.

- [ Chuckles ]

- Hold this for me.

- I just wonder what my mama

saw in your sorry ass anyway.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Damn!

[ Chuckles ]

Too late. Take off your pants, G.W.

What? I ain't gonna--

Take off your goddamn pants!

- Whoo!

- Aah!

- [ Laughs ]

- I'd take 'em off if I was you.

- [Juanita Laughing ]

- Okay. Okay.

I'm taking 'em off. Sh*t.

You too, boys.

Quit your grinnin' and drop your linens.

- What did I do to deserve this?

- You ruined my brother's life.

You and this nitwit brother of yours.

So just take 'em off!.

I ain't no nitwit. I don't much

appreciate you callin' me that.

How about half-wit?

- I don't like that either.

- Okay.

There. You satisfied?

You ain't satisfied me in years.

- This ain't right, LaVonda.

- I loved you, Wardell.

You had to go and ruin it

by beating the sh*t out of Brother Boy.

I beat the sh*t out of Brother Boy

because you told me

he was in love with me.

You know what my mama said

the day the sheriff brought him home

all beat to a pulp?

- Huh? Do ya?

- No, I don't.

She said,

""Well, this just proves my point.

""He can't live in regular society

like a normal human being.

'cause it's just too dangerous.''

And the very next day...

her and Daddy drove him

over to Big Spring...

and signed the papers

for him to rot in that crazy farm.

You ruined his life, Wardell!

So what do you wanna talk about now?

What are you doing, Dr. Eve?

More therapy.

What are you thinking right now, Earl?

I was wondering where you got that bra.

I want you to f*** me, Earl,

because quite frankly I think

it's time you f*** a woman.

- Oh, dear sweetJesus.

No, I don't think I can.

- Come on.

Yes. You can.Just like

that little engine that could.

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