Sorority Boys Page #4

Coming through!|Coming through!

Aah! Aah! Ow.

-- Oh!|-- ##... "Good girls don't, "|but she'll be telling you... ##

Hey!

Fat city!

Clear the way|for Buttzilla!

## "Good girls don't" ##

## "Good girls don't" ##

## But she'll be telling you,|"Good girls don't, but I do" ##

## "But I do" ##

## "But I do" ##

## "But I do" ##

What?!

Uh...

A woman's face|with nature's own hand painted,

hast thou, the master-mistress|of my passion.

A woman's gentle heart,

but not acquainted|with shifting change,

as is false|women's fashion.

Should I...|get under the table

and suck your cock|right now?

What? Right here?

Please -- a few lines|of Shakespeare,

and you expect|a girl to swoon.

No, I --

Next you'll be telling me|what kind of car you drive.

No, no, no, I'm not like that.|No, really.

By -- by taking this class,|I'm -- I'm trying to|get in touch with --

My breasts?

Yes -- No. No.

I know why|guys like you take|Women's Studies courses.

No, Leah.

I'm not like that.

I'm just --

Can we just study?|'Cause that's what|I came here for.

## Sugar ##

## Ahh, honey, honey ##

## You are my candy girl ##

## And you got me wanting you ##

How many times|do I have to say it?

The toilet is|for toilet paper|and toilet paper only!

Aah! Uhh!

Another souffl burnt!

I cannot concentrate|on my cooking!

Well, what's|your f***ing problem?

Huh?

I mean, what --|what's wrong?

I want a boyfriend.

But, no.|They will not have me.

But why?

Why?

Can I make a little,|teeny, tiny suggestion?

Now, just go up, up,|and flick,

just like that.

Ooh.

And after we get|the mustache,

maybe we can do|those armpits.

And, um, we can do|your knuckles

and your back,|your legs...

## Ahh, sugar, sugar ##

...your ass.

So, um...who was|that cute guy I saw|you with at the library?

No. He's just some frat guy|I have to study with.

Oh.

'Cause, um...

Well, I got the feeling|he was gonna ask you out.

I would never date|a guy like that.

But don't you think|that maybe if you --

you got him alone,|away from the other frats,

he might actually be|a nice guy --

y-you know, underneath?

I can guarantee you

that guy is "wham, bam,|thank you, ma'am."

No, no,|I hear he's, uh...

"Hello. How are you?

"You seem like a person|I'd like to get to know.

Can I take you out to dinner|sometime...ma'am?"

I love when|you braid my hair.

It feels so good.

How do I look?

You look...good.

-- Yeah?|-- Mm-hmm.

Adina, are you in there?

Just a minute, please.

Adina, I really have to|pee-pee.

I said,|"Just a minute, please."

It's tinkle time!

I'm leaving.

Oh, no, no.

Yep.

No, 'cause I got|a plan, dude. Trust me.

That's your plan --|an aspirin?

Oh, trust me.|It's not an aspirin.

You drop this little baby

in your little hairless|boyfriend's drink --

Hey. Jimmy's not|my boyfriend.

He drinks his drink,

he goes out like|a little light bulb,

and you go get|that tape, man.

Dude, is that a roofie?

No, that is not a roofie|right there in my hand.

Well, it doesn't matter,|all right?

'Cause I'm not|f***in' doing it.

Huh.

Wait, this is actually|a good plan.

You go out on a date|and get him to take you|back to the house.

If there's any problems,|just give me the signal.

I'll be right outside.|I'm your wingman.

How's this signal, huh?|I'm not doing it.

You know, KOK-tail cruise|is next week,

and with your grades|and extracurriculars,

you're gonna be lucky|if you even get a job.

Hey, college boy!

Time to tuck in|my hemorrhoids.

Uh, uh, uh, uh...

No.

Come in.

Take a load off.

So, you like my robe,|baby?

I only settle|for the very best.

Let's f***.

Let's have a drink|first --

loosen things up|a little.

Yeah.

Ah.

Ooh, yeah.

Oh...

What's this --|bo x of pornos?

Yes.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Someone having a bash?

Oh, I bet it's for|that famous boat party

you boys throw every year --|am I right?

Uh-huh.

Vodka and cranberry|for milady?

What a good idea.

Daisy...

Yes?

Will you come|wash my hair for me?

So, you sassy|she-devil...

How 'bout some mellow tunes|to set the mood?

## Get out of my way ##

## Ugly woman ##

Ohh.

## You're not here to stay ##

It's awfully hot|in here.

Take off your bra.

I'll open the window.

Ooh,|I'll dim the lights.

Aah!

## Get out of my way ##

## You've been cheating|on me, baby ##

Ahh...

Uh-oh.

## I'm gonna count|from one to three, baby ##

Drink up, b*tch.

## When I say do,|get out of my way ##

I'm starting to|get in the mood.

Not without a toast.

## You're not here to stay ##

## Get out of my way ##

Tonight...

I lose my virginity...

to a woman I love.

## Get out of my way ##

Right.

Drink up.

Oww!

Dave!

Where are you?!

The first time I tried|shoplifting, I got caught.

Me too --|I wanted a Twix,

but I thought I should|practice on something|I didn't like,

so I stole an onion|and got busted.

Daisy, stop poking me|in the butt.

Sorry.

Wingman!

Wingman!

Ugh!

Wuh. Oh!

Ohh!

Aaah!

Ohhhh!

Don't tell Leah,

but sometimes I think

that life|would be a lot easier

if I just looked like|one of those Tri Pis.

I mean, do you know|what it feels like

to be a constant butt|of jokes?

I do.

Do you know what|it feels like to|be called a freak,

to be humiliated|day in, day out

until your self-esteem|is so low,

you'd -- you'd walk|a mile out of your way

just to avoid looking|in a mirror?

Or to be...|peer-pressured

into crushing|hundreds of cans|of beer on your head

for nine years...

despite|the constant migraines

and the expensive|C A T scans?

Roberta...

We love you.

Ohh...

My giant.|My gentle giant.

I feel like...

you girls|are my best friends

in the whole world.

A-And I think|it's time...

we stopped|moping around...

and started having fun.

What kind of fun?

So -- so why do|they call it a|gravity bong?

I have no idea.

Oh, that tickles.

Stop that now.|Stop it.

Did you leave a|boyfriend or anything|back in Minnesota?

Oh, no, no.|My father didn't|want me to date boys.

Oh. Sounds|really controlling.

He is.

He expects me to|graduate, buy a house|in the suburbs,

and be part|of his old-boy network.

That's really...strange.

Well, uh...

Daisy, I think you deserve|better than that.

I mean, the only way|you're ever gonna be happy

is if you're true|to what you want.

Your dad's just|gonna have to accept

that you have to make|your own choices in life.

You know, you're right.|You are.

God! Do you hear that?

I'm so sick of|those stupid frats|and their stupid music!

Oh, oh, oh -- your toes.

Watch the toes.|Watch your toes.

Oh. Sorry. God.|Do you mind doing it again?

Okay.

Like you're naughty, girls!|Like you're naughty!

Whoo-hoo!

## Double shot of|my baby's love, yeah, yeah ##

## Double shot... ##

You want to sleep over?

Ugh!

You...are strong|for a girl --

for a girl.

Guys are such idiots.

What --

-- Wingman!|-- ...I lose my virginity to a woman...

Bring|the quality down...

-- Co-inky dinky, my stinky pinky.|-- ...Way down.

Who told you about skanks?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes