Soul Plane Page #5

Hello. Would you like Colt .45 | or Aliz?

Maybe you could explain to us | what those are.

My pleasure, sir.

Colt .45 tastes like | liquored-up beer,

and it sneaks up on you | all of a sudden.

And Aliz--oh, that's my favorite. | It's from France.

It's a cog-nac, it's very fruity,

and it'll make you wanna do | the hucklebuck,

then pass out | in your own juices.

Guess I'll have that.

Wise choice.

Yo, player, you got a little | somethin'-somethin' for me?

Yeah, I have a shorty 40.

No, no. Do you have | any whole milk?

Sir, that is nasty.

I do have a Puerto Rican lady who's | lactatin', I'll see what I can do.

Tonight, we're serving a plate | of gourmet soul food

with your choice of lobster | and filet mignon

or crisp duck confit,

I'll have the filet,

And for you, sir?

I ordered a special | Kosher meal... yag-weh.

Excuse me?

That's fried chicken | in hot sauce.

Lobster, filet mignon or duck?

I'll take the fee-lan.

All right, I need you to take | a breast or a leg and a wing

and pass it back. Exactly.

You guys, share your napkins | with your neighbor.

One for every two people. | Sharing is caring.

Don't get greedy. One piece.

Hi. Would you like | some dessert?

Boss man, low class | is outta liquor,

so I thought I would | come in here and...

Someone is strollin' down | memory lane.

No, I'm just, you know, | checkin' on things,

makin' sure they okay, | that's all.

Yeah, right. I know that look.

I had that same look of regret | after I ran into Lee--

my little Asian butterfly.

We had a whirlwind romance | that ended in heartbreak...

and stomach pumpin'.

When I saw him again, | I tried to apologize, but I couldn't.

I just felt so bad leaving him | in that hospital

all bloated and distended.

Did you just grind on me?

A little.

What does that sick-ass story | have to do with me?

I've never left nobody | in the hospital filled with nothin'.

It means, Mr. Righteous, | that if you have a chance

to make things right again, | you should take it.

Who knows | what could've happened?

Lee had plenty ancient secret | to show me.

Thank you. Flame. | Okay?

You're welcome.

Now, how much Colt .45 | to Sierra Mist do you mix

to get bubbly? | Probably half and half.

You mind if I sit down?

It's your plane.

It really doesn't have | to be like this.

How is it supposed to be?

So who's this guy?

Let's just let it go, okay?

I just came over here | to talk to you.

You just disappeared. | I didn't even hear from you.

Giselle, you were 3,000 miles away. | I tried to get in touch with you.

Let's just let it go.

I don't know what smells better-- | this meal or your delightful perfume.

Thank you. You're too kind.

You know, a lot of smart women | find blind men sexy.

- You know why? | - No.

But I'm sure | you're about to tell me.

When you lose one sense, | it makes your other senses stronger,

I have more of a sensitive touch | than the average man,

Please!

Let me tell you about | this love I had,

She was on the trampoline, | landed right in my lap.

Bang! She stayed there | for 1 5 years.

People crazy about me. | People love me.

- You don't say. | - Don't say?

I do say it. | That's what I'm talkin' about.

People love me. | See these fingers here?

These fingers got eyes on 'em | just like 20/20 vision.

You know what I mean?

They... wait a minute.

Move that other leg | out the way.

Move that dress up, girl.

Oh, boy, moist. | You just as tender as you can be.

You a little frisky thing. | You got a little puddle here.

Oh, you big, too. | You ain't no baby.

This is wonderful. | I love freaky stuff like this.

Just let yourself go. | I'm gonna let myself go, too.

I'm feelin' something, too.

This ain't like me. | I don't usually go this quick.

I'm goin' now.

Let me tell you. | Where my yack?

I'm a player... player!

- Hey, now. | - Oh, excuse me,

No, it's cool, | I'm the attendant,

You can sit this one out, | my brother.

I'm just gonna wash my hands.

Got me a wild woman | sittin' next to me

and look what I got. | Bang! Stinky pinky.

Stinky pinky, here you go.

Hey, brother. I ain't washin' | that one, I'm washin' this one.

She usin' cilantro. | I love that freaky sh*t.

The only way you got | stinky pinky

is if you was sittin' next to | Miss Potato Head.

There's always some dude | who's a player hater

'cause he ain't gettin' none.

Just 'cause you blind don't mean | I won't whip your ass.

Lookin' like a disco lemon. | Son of a b*tch!

All right, you suit-and-tie-wearin' | motherfuckers.

A little green | gets you in between.

The more dough, | the more they show.

Now, a true player | is a payer, am I right?

That's what's up.

We don't park collars | at NWA--we park dollars.

You heard me?

If you can afford business class, | you can afford some business ass.

Hey, Muggs, what's goin' on?

- Where? | - Here.

- Here. What is this? | - It's all good up in here, baby.

We got Asian persuasion, | butter pecan freakin',

chocolate deluxe.

I got it all | in my little shopping mall.

What is it you're not gettin'?

First gamblin', now this? | It's illegal, man.

You with the FAA, nigga?

- No. What are you talkin' about? | - Ain't no rules in the air.

Listen to me. | That's not the point, man.

It's a family airline. | You got ladies up in here?

I sure do!

Listen to me. | We not in the 'hood no more.

Hey, Nashawn.

Hey! What's this about?

The girls just wanted | to show their appreciation

for everything you've done.

If you stick around for a minute.

I'm sure it'd make the ladies | very, very happy.

Start with this.

Just like that?

You're so sexy.

Whoa! Slow down!

Back up.

Oh, my God! | Hey, move, devil.

Get it together | and get it fast.

You got to get off the pole.

Hey, baby, watch your step. | Hey.

I guess there are some things | you can commit to.

You talkin' 'bout this?

I'm just doin' my job, | that's all.

Yeah, it looks like | you're a workaholic.

And here I was thinkin' I was | too hard on you before.

Guess you're the man now.

Wait, Giselle.

What the f*** am I doin'?!

You ready for this?

- Yeah. | - You ready?

Oh, yeah, daddy.

- You sure? | - Wait.

Don't fight the feelin', baby.

What the hell is you doin' | in here?

That's the problem with | you young cats. You talk too much.

- A woman like that... | - You do talk a lot.

...wants a man of action.

I was wonderin' if you can | help my friend Ben here.

He needs you to take him | back to his seat.

Yeah, Ben, I believe I know | where this cat is sittin'.

Dig this here. | You don't need a lot of space.

Superman changed | in a phone booth.

Hey, don't be... | man, don't be touchin'...

Tidy Bowl man.

We gonna need this right here.

- Ready for this? | - Oh, yeah.

Hey, what the hell is this?

I seen this on an episode | of "Real Sex".

- You sure about this? | - Trust me.

All you gotta do | is have a safety word.

You got one?

Yeah, when I say. | "Get off me, you crazy b*tch",

you stop chokin' me.

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