Soul Plane Page #6

Ow! Sh*t!

Actually, I wish you'd stop | smackin' me.

You like it.

- It's tight. | - It's supposed to be tight.

That's why you buy me | the good sh*t.

The belt is too damn tight!

Stop your b*tch-ass complainin' | and give me what you promised.

I can't feel my toes!

I can't feel your dick, | but I ain't complainin'.

D.J., please, don't stop. | Five more seconds.

Cheese, eggs, grits, chilies, | yams, sunflower seeds.

No. No!

No?

Man, this is not the way | it happened on "Real Sex".

This is some real bullshit.

It was probably the turbulence

and all the excituration | of the moment, 'cause I used--

You see that, David. | Did you see that, David?

Why you always got to go--

I need to spank you | with the bad...

I'm gonna punish him.

This motherfuckin' autopilot sh*t | is cool as hell, man.

Just kick back | and ride and glide.

Relax, motherf***er. | I should be captain of this plane.

Ten years with Chuku Airlines.

Chuku Airlines, where we treat you | with a lot of respect.

This motherf***er.

Now I'm here with this nigga.

Nigga, shut the f*** up with that | African mumbo-jumbo bullshit.

I hear you over there | with that Chuku Airlines sh*t.

You with NWA Airlines, | I'm the captain.

- I don't care. | - Real niggas drive real sh*t.

I should kill you.

We have a birthday girl, | Captain.

This is Heather Hunkee.

She wanted to see | our cockpit.

How old are you, Heather?

I just turned 18.

Is that right? Oh, boy.

Attention, all players.

The upper deck will be open | for your enjoyment.

We have a passenger | who just turned 18 years old.

Her name is Heather Hunkee.

She is one cute little hottie | with a whole lotta body.

Oh, yeah.

She'll be upstairs, so all players | come up and keep her company.

No!

Hey, Virgie, how are you? | Good to see you.

Yeah, I know. It's hot, right?

This is hot.

Let me take you to the bar. | Give me your jacket, girl.

Big Boy!

All my pimps, players, | and hustlers--

y'all ready to set this motherf***er | off, West Coast style?

As you see, | we up in the clouds.

Got a gang of lovely ladies | out there on the dance floor

ready to go ahead and shake | that ass and get they freak on.

To my fellas out there | who ain't got no game--

yeah, I'm talkin' to you.

Don't even trip on it, | 'cause we ain't goin' nowhere.

We locked in this b*tch for | four more hours till we touch down,

so you might as well go ahead | and get your swerve on.

- Marshall, good to see you. | - It's good to see you.

This is Heather. | She's turnin' 18 today.

Happy birthday.

- Thank you. | - Captain Mack is buyin' her

her first drink.

What can I get for you?

Surprise me.

I got just what you need.

Girl, he is cute!

I know. He's a looker.

He'll hook you up.

Cool! All right, have a good time. | I gotta go back downstairs.

Keep an eye on her.

Oh, I will.

Not that kind of eye.

It's Big Boy.

What's goin' down, y'all?

We gonna keep | this motherf***er crackin'

until everybody in here | pass the f*** out.

Yeah, this is my joint | right here.

- Who'd you come here with? | - Don't worry about that.

- Please, Captain, I just-- | - Hey, nigga!

What part of "you ain't flyin' | this motherfuckin' plane"

don't you understand?

Sit back and enjoy the ride, | Idi Amin.

What are you doing? | You fool!

Any motherfuckin' dry ass | mushrooms of yours

ain't gettin' me high | no motherfuckin' way.

You need to f*** with the white boys. | They sh*t potent.

White boys, American sh*t.

This is African mushrooms, | very dangerous.

They can kill you!

You ate 15 of them! | These are topical, for the skin.

I crush them up, | and I put them...

... for my itching.

Motherf***er, you got crabs?!

This man got crabs. You ain't | sittin' in the pilot's seat for sure.

Ha ha, keep laughing. | It's not funny.

African crab is very aggressive.

They hunt us.

They can kill you.

That motherf***er | is crazy as f***, man.

They dangerous, | and they kill you.

F***!

That Gaeman!

Excuse me.

Motherf***er, | did you just touch me?

Yeah, I wanna get up | in the club.

- You on the list? | - What list?

The goddamn guest list.

- Are you on it? | - I don't know.

You don't know? | What's your name?

Elvis Hunkee.

I wouldn't even have wrote | no sh*t down like that, homey.

Maybe it's under The King,

'cause my friends, | they call me "The King".

It's my nickname.

I ain't your friend, | and you ain't no king, motherf***er.

Right.

Move! I'm talkin' to you.

What's up? Go right in.

All right, put 'em up.

It's go time.

It's definitely go time, | motherf***er.

You about to get | the best damn ass-whippin'.

I hope the little b*tch | you're lookin' for is worth dyin' for.

She is, 'cause that little b*tch | is my daughter.

Your daughter?

Why didn't you say | that sh*t, man?

I got five daughters, man.

The little one, Trina, | every time I see her.

she just runs into my arms, | like, "Daddy. Daddy!"

We have little tea parties | and sh*t.

The little cups, and I put | the little hat on.

Little table, man. | It was so beautiful.

My heart would, like, explode.

Yeah, I need to go upstairs.

- I miss my babies. | - I miss mine, too. She's upstairs.

I never see them. | I'm always busy securin' sh*t.

- Honest living. | - I never see 'em, dawg.

Secure your sh*t.

Secure your sh*t. | Go get your girl, man.

Go get your little girl.

Take care of your family, man!

Who's on the list?

Yo, Captain. I got to go | drain the monster.

What the hell's taking | Gay-man so long?

I don't know, I ain't his mama.

Matter of fact, | why don't you page him

and tell him to bring | his b*tch ass up here 911.

Attention, Gay-man.

Attention, Gay-man, | I have to go drain the monster.

Return to the cockpit | immediately.

Man, I wouldn't answer | that sh*t if I was you, homey.

Shake it up real fast | then stop

Shake it up real fast | then drop

Shawty crunk on the floor | wide open

Skeet so much, | they call her Billy Ocean

Roll like a 18-wheeler

That... fine, | but this... killer

Leakin', she soakin' wet

- Muggsy, what are you doin'? | - Cut!

Who the hell said cut?

Yeah. Who the hell said cut? | The director says cut. Damn!

Look, Nashawn. | I already know, dawg.

Come here. | Is that the Ying Yang Twins?

Yeah.

Watch out. | Ying Yang Twins!

What's up, baby?

Don't drink gasoline. | We got a bar.

I had a gold tooth. | I shoulda kept it for this.

Why y'all stop rollin'?

'Cause you came in.

No, don't stop on account of me, | I'm the owner.

Nashawn Wade--that's me. | I'm the boss of this.

- Hey, roll camera! | - Who said roll camera?

I say roll camera.

- That's my job. | - That's his job.

Chris, I'm tellin' ya, we need | more sexy in this video.

Let's go, Tamika. | Get in there.

This cool?

- Yes, sir. | - Tamika, let's get in there.

Get on in there, girl.

Yo, Chris, I'm tellin' ya, man.

We need more ass in this video, | and it'd be off the hook.

Yo, Muggsy, who is this kid?

Roll camera.

- Here you are, sir. | - Thank you.

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