Spaceman Page #2

---

A deserter.

Where the f*** are we, Hanoi?

Look, I was just trying to

make a statement. All right?

Where is the compassion

on this team?

Rodney has a family.

Rodney Scott is none

of your business.

None of my business?

Rodney has given us everything

that he has for three years.

He has won ball games for us,

and he is one of the most decent

guys that we have on this team.

He's my f***ing friend. And you

f***ing lie to him over and over.

This is a business, Lee, plain and simple.

It's a business.

Rodney was batting .200.

Numbers don't lie.

Lee, listen.

You can't fight reality, Lee.

Ever seen reality? You ever

noticed what reality is?

Because you lose every time.

Do you have a Webster's

dictionary in here or just

comic books and porn?

Why me? What did I

do to deserve him?

I want you to look up the word

"integrity" and tell me what it says.

That's enough.

"Integrity is the essence

of everything successful."

Buckminster Fuller said that.

Who?

Yeah, exactly.

I am sick and tired of this

intellectual bullshit!

This is baseball, not UCLA.

Goodrich wants to see you in

his office bright and early.

Now this is between

you and him now.

Why can't he just

see me right now?

He doesn't want to see you

in the state you're in.

We're not in a state.

We're in a province.

You would know that

if you went to college.

Oh, and by the way,

I went to USC, not UCLA,

you ignorant f***ing prick.

Out. Now!

Hmm...

F***ing push me?

Get out.

"It's better to die

than to live in sleep."

Shakespeare?

No, no, no...

GI Gurdjieff.

The Indian mystic.

GI Gurdjieff...

The f*** out!

I wasn't worried a bit.

Hell, it wasn't even

the first time

I had to walk off

a team to make a point.

Back in Boston, I won 17

games, three years in a row.

Even started game seven

of what many consider

the greatest world series

ever played.

Bill,

last night Fisk hit one of the most

historic home runs of all time

and tonight, you get the

ball for all the marbles.

Reds manager, sparky Anderson

says that win or lose,

his pitcher don Gullett is

going to the hall of fame.

What do you have

to say about that?

Well, win or lose, I'm

going to the Eliot lounge.

There it is.

A high drive. He was

waiting for that one.

That one is gone

over everything.

We didn't win that

ball game, unfortunately.

Tony Perez hit a curveball of

mine that hasn't landed yet.

But I'd like to see you find don

Gullett's plaque hanging in Cooperstown.

I however,

I kept my end of the bargain.

We called ourselves the loyal

order of the buffalo heads.

It was me, Fergie Jenkins, Rick wise,

Jim Willoughby and Bernie Carbo.

Bernie was a bit

out of control in hindsight.

Well, I guess we all were, but, I

don't know. Maybe I'm projecting.

Hey, what are you doing? Come back

here, you crazy motherf***er!

Oh, we're screwed.

Oh, sh*t.

I said to the gm...

How the hell

can you trade Carbo?

This team needs a guy like him.

I realize he's been

partying sort of hard

and traveling with that crazy stuffed

gorilla, but he has a family.

Where is the compassion

around here?

And he just said...

It's a business, bill.

You'll learn soon enough.

One day you'll understand

why we have rules.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Jesus!

Lee, how the hell

did you get in here?

Through the door.

Always with

the smart answers, huh?

Get the f*** off my desk, bill!

You like games, huh, bill?

How about we play

a fun little game, huh?

And in this game, bill,

I ask you another question,

we see if you can come up

with a clever answer.

Does that sound good?

Yeah.

Okay.

Here's the question, bill.

How do you feel about the fact that we

are about to release your insubordinate,

over-the-hill ass immediately

from your contract?

Releasing me?

Under whose authority?

The queen of f***ing England.

What difference does it make?

It's a done deal.

Pack up your sh*t.

You don't have

the right to restrict

my constitutional

freedom of expression.

Oh, sh*t.

You know what, bill?

You're absolutely right.

I don't. I know.

But what I do have

the right, bill,

is to decide

who plays on this team,

and who doesn't. And frankly,

we're going to really miss ya.

Okay. Come on, we both know

that this team needs me.

Maybe.

But you know what, that's a risk

that we're very willing to take.

And I need them. I do.

I have a family,

my kids go to school here.

They have friends.

We can't move back

to the states.

They only know

the metric system.

Well, bill, this will give

them a chance

to "expand their consciousness,"

as you like to say.

You know what's funny,

is I hate this part of my job.

You know, releasing players,

'cause normally,

right now is

the time when I say,

"oh, I'm so sorry.

It's not personal.

"It's business."

But today,

it actually feels good,

to be honest,

'cause I was gonna wait to

do this after the home stand.

But since you're being here,

and such a f***ing douchebag,

why don't you just sign here,

and initial here?

And you know what, bill,

we're done.

You know what?

You wanna cut me, go for it.

There are plenty

of other clubs out there

desperate for quality

left-handed pitching.

One of them will sign me.

And then we're gonna come marching back

in here with the pennant on the line,

and I'm gonna beat you

in a game so bad

that your future, future,

great grandsons will feel it

like a swift kick in the nuts.

That's my grandpa Forrest

for f***'s sake, bill.

I tell you what, bill, I sincerely

believe that you believe that.

One of them will sign me, someone who

appreciates me and lets me be myself.

Somebody who knows how to treat

its employees with dignity.

With respect and loyalty.

Hey, do me a solid, when you find this

mythical team, see if they'd give me a job?

Hey, bill! Come on back. What?

Hey, unless you initial

it's not official.

I got a t-shirt made

with that on it.

There you go.

Oh, that's mature, bill.

Yeah.

That's mature.

Somebody will pick me up.

Guaranteed, probably

later this afternoon.

Don't count on it, bill.

Don't f***ing count on it.

- You're listening to

- CFCF 600 Montreal.

There is a disturbing rumor

circulating around town right now

that the expos

have released bill Lee.

Hopefully, it's just a rumor.

Either way, this one

goes out to you, bill.

It's Warren Zevon, bill Lee.

F***in' expos...

F***! F***!

I got a brother, he's got a fishing

outfit in the eastern townships.

You can get a job there.

It's all the COD you can eat.

Hydroponics.

Hydroponics.

Trust me, it's gonna

be big one day.

Ever think about

going into politics, bill?

Hey, would you village idiots

shut the f*** up already.

Dickie Dennis.

This strapping

young man right here

is a goddamn professional

baseball player.

That's right, goddammit.

He doesn't need to be growing

weed on a fishing boat

while running for the

senate for his livelihood.

F*** no, he needs to

be throwing a baseball.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes