Spaceman Page #8

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You've been on

the road for 14 years.

It's time to come home.

I'm going to bed.

Wait, wait, wait.

Good night.

Call them tomorrow.

Call...

You know the most frustrating

thing about ex-wives.

Sometimes they're

friggin' right.

Howdy, neighbors!

Passport? Vehicle registration?

Uh, right.

Let's see.

I could've sworn

I brought the darn thing.

They didn't ask for it on the us

side when I was coming through.

I thought Canadians were supposed

to be the friendly ones, eh?

If you don't have a passport or any ID,

you're gonna need to step out of the car.

Uh...

What have we got here?

He smelled something.

We can work this out.

I'm late for a baseball game.

Name's Lee. Bill Lee.

I'm a ball player.

I don't care if you're late

for your f***in' wedding.

Get out of the car, now.

What have we got?

This guy's got no ID.

He says he's

a professional athlete.

Wants some special treatment.

And then there's this.

Really?

What hockey team you play for?

I'm a baseball player.

Oh.

Well, then you gotta

step out of the vehicle.

I wasn't looking for any

special treatment, fellas.

I'm just a friendly American.

Hell, if it were up to me there wouldn't be

any borders between these two countries.

Save the stump speech.

Wait a second.

Are you the spaceman, bill Lee?

Yes, sir.

William Francis ii.

Pleasure to meet you boys.

I saw you in high times.

Um... not that I read it.

Well...

But, man... boy, Montreal

f***ed you proper, bill. Yeah.

You've got brass balls standing up

for little Rodney Scott like that.

Yeah.

Well.

Where you going?

Well, I've, uh, I've

actually been playing with

a great group of guys

over in Longueuil.

You know, I left them behind to

go try out for San Francisco,

which was a big f***in' mistake.

Anyway, they got a game tonight

against a bunch of ugly

plumbers from new Brunswick,

and I'm just trying to

get back so I can pitch.

What the heck you playing

for Longueuil for?

They need me.

You heard the man. He's

got a ball game to pitch.

Go on. Get out of here.

All right. I'll just...

I'm gonna hang on

to the coffee, though.

Smells like pretty good sh*t.

Take care.

Go ahead. Go on.

Okay. Yeah, of course.

Look, I screwed up.

Even though I had

the best intentions.

But once I realized no major league

club would ever hire me again,

I didn't get angry.

I got defiant.

Screw those guys.

Who needs them?

The owners had done me a favor,

chucking me out of their sport.

Now I could travel the world searching

for the game in its purest form.

Hardball, softball,

wiffle ball, cricket.

Pay me in cash, pay me in

lager, don't pay me at all.

But I'll be there.

Ready to get guys out.

Good morning!

Hey!

I get invited to come and throw out

the first pitch a lot these days.

And I tell 'em, only if I can

throw out all the rest.

Bill "the spaceman" Lee!

I keep playing

because I have no choice.

I'm a ball player.

As Jim Bouton once said,

"you spend a good piece of

your life gripping a baseball.

"And in the end, it turns out that

it was the other way around."

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