Spare Me Page #2

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12 EXT. DEAD END STREET 12

Theo's car pulls up in front of a modest suburban house. A

rooftop weather vane in the shape of a bowler CREAKS

ominously in the wind.

13 EXT. BUZZ'S HOUSE 13

Theo rings the doorbell. The porch light comes on, and

MILLIE, a fifty-five year-old woman dressed for a night on

the town in Reno, but with fuzzy slippers and a hairnet,

opens the door. A miniscule neurotic poodle leaps at Theo's

bowling ball bag, YAPPING and snapping at it.

THEO:

Is Mr. Fazeli in please?

MILLIE:

Who wants to know?

(to dog)

Zeus!

THEO:

I'm a bowler.

MILLIE:

I'm sick of you people. Why don't you

leave him be?

BUZZ (OS)

Let him in, Millie. And don't frisk him.

14 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM 14

Millie and Theo, with Zeus hot on his trail, enter the room.

BUZZ FAZELI, a sixty-five year-old man shaped a lot like a

compressed bowling pin, slouches in a recliner. The room is

decorated with trophies of Buzz's bygone pro-bowling halcyon

days.

MILLIE:

Oh sure. Let everyone in. From now on I

leave the door wide open. Let the parade

begin!

BUZZ:

Clam it!

Millie is silent. Buzz gets up and approaches Zeus.

BUZZ:

Hey, rat. C'mere.

Zeus growls at Buzz as he comes nearer, then clamps onto his

sleeve and hangs from his arm, growling ferociously. In one

smooth motion, Buzz flings the rabid poodle through an open

window and into the night.

MILLIE:

Jerk.

She heads outside.

BUZZ:

Sit down.

Theo sits on the edge of the couch. Buzz puts out his hand.

Theo shakes it.

BUZZ:

Buzz Fazeli.

THEO:

Theo.

BUZZ:

I know your face, you're an up-and-comer.

You bowl on the tour.

THEO:

I'm not on the tour this year.

BUZZ:

(nods understandingly)

Need some advice, huh.

THEO:

Well, Mr. Fazeli, the Bowling Congress

says I'm a thorn in their side.

BUZZ:

(dismissive wave)

Don't worry about the Congress, they're

just a bunch of moralistic busy-bodies.

15 EXT. THEO'S CAR 15

Millie's furry slippers protrude from the driver's side door.

Zeus chews furiously on the yellow plastic 'Bowler On Board'

sign. She rifles through the contents of the overstuffed

glove compartment. She notices her dog.

MILLIE:

(under her breath)

Get that outta your mouth!

16 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM 16

THEO:

They suspended me.

BUZZ:

Why'd they suspend you?

Theo's eyes glaze over, the lights in the room dim, and Buzz

seems to recede into the far distance.

17 TV SCREEN - FLASHBACK17

In ultra-slow scan we see an image of two bowlers, one is

smiling cockily to off-screen fans and waving, the other is

Theo, his face filled with hate, winding up to smash the

other man in the head with his bowling ball.

THEO (VO)

It wasn't really my fault.

In the far background the hollow booming VOICE of a judge

delivers sentence.

JUDGE (VO)

The American Bowling Congress hereby

suspends Theo Maynard Skinner from all

professional bowling activities within

the jurisdiction of the American Bowling

Congress and its international co-

signers... The ball mashes into the

smirking mans head, causing it to snap

forward. The judge's gavel BANGS and the

crowd ROARS.

18 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM 18

Theo snaps out of it, the room lights come up, and Buzz leans

in.

BUZZ:

I got suspended when I was young, too. I

was pretty cocky in my day.

THEO:

They suspended me for 100 years.

BUZZ:

100 years!

(knits his brow)

THEO:

I can appeal in five. I was hoping you

could help me Mr. Fazeli.

BUZZ:

(uneasy)

What do you think I can do?

THEO:

(sweating slightly)

I need a sponsor to get my sanction card

back. Where I come from, you're the king.

BUZZ:

Sure, around here, any fat old bald guy

could be king. I'm nothing. It wouldn't

do any good for me to talk to the

Congress.

(briskly changing subject)

Hey, you thirsty? You like orange whips?

THEO:

I've never had orange whips, I'm from

Akron.

CUT TO:

19 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, KITCHEN 19

Millie and Buzz are in the kitchen, talking in loud whispers.

Millie fills a blender while Buzz cuts oranges.

MILLIE:

He's the guy Buzz.

BUZZ:

He's not the guy, Millie. Just whip the

whips.

MILLIE:

I looked in his car. He's got pictures of

you, clippings, maps.

BUZZ:

Bowlers don't go around killing other

bowlers. He's only a fan, Millie. I'll

give him some tips and an autograph and

he's outta here.

MILLIE:

You're in trouble, aren't you Buzz?

You're doing something dangerous in that

alley.

BUZZ:

Millie, I know what I'm doing.

MILLIE:

We should leave this town. I can't take

this anymore. I'm not gonna let him kill

you in my house.

20 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM 20

Buzz rejoins Theo in the living room.

THEO:

Remember the finals in Akron in '59? You

had a seven-ten split in the final frame.

BUZZ:

Yeah, against that prick VanDeMark.

THEO:

Ten thousand to one, but you pegged it.

The toughest shot on the last frame.

BUZZ:

That game was before you was born.

THEO:

My mom was there. She told me about it.

The 'Fazeli Split.'

21 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, KITCHEN 21

The blender is wailing at high speed as Millie throws in a

whole box of laxative, a can of Drano and a jar of pills. Her

hands are trembling.

22 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM 22

Millie walks into the living room with a silver tray holding

two orange whips; one thick and deadly, the other thin and

safe. There is laughter coming from both men.

BUZZ:

And the irony is, thirty years later,

that prick is bowling in the seniors on

TV all over the world, and look at me. Ah

well. The docs made me stop, on account

of my ticker.

(taps his chest)

I don't really miss it, but then...

(chokes up)

...I miss it.

He spies Millie approaching with the tray.

BUZZ:

Orange whip, nectar of the bowling gods.

Thanks sweetie. Millie turns the tray so

that Buzz takes the untainted whip. Theo

takes the other glass.

THEO:

Thanks.

ZEUS:

Zeus is on the sofa, GROWLING and tugging

at Theo's bowling bag. The bag rips apart

and the ball hits the floor.

ORANGE WHIP:

Theo brings the drink to his lips. The

ball rolls across the room.

BUZZ:

The ball rolls into Buzz's feet.

BUZZ:

This your lucky bullet?

Buzz picks it up and reads the writing on the ball. He snaps

a look into the kitchen, seeing the empty Drano and laxative

cartons. Buzz slams the drink away from Theo's lips. The

drink explodes across the room. Buzz is up on his feet.

BUZZ:

(with intensity)

Where'd you get this ball?

THEO:

(stunned - looks at the mess on

the floor, then at Buzz)

It's mine.

BUZZ:

Who gave it to you?

THEO:

Grace Skinner.

BUZZ:

(astonished)

Grace Skinner. Who's Grace Skinner to

you?

THEO:

She's my mom.

Theo stands and takes the ball from Buzz's hands. Buzz is in

shock, staring at Theo.

BUZZ:

(regaining his voice)

Who are you? Who sent you here?

THEO:

I'm your son. You're a hard father to

find.

MILLIE:

Son?

BUZZ:

(to Millie)

Millie, please.

(to Theo)

I don't have a son.

I think you better leave now young man.

Buzz gestures towards the front door.

THEO:

(calmly)

Grace Skinner Fazeli, you must remember

her?

Buzz takes Theo by the elbow to eject him from the house.

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