Spare Me Page #9

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Sheila and Kastle sit up.

THEO:

I don't like to talk about it.

JUNIOR:

You're prone to violent outbursts, aren't

you?

THEO:

It depends.

JUNIOR:

It feels good to let it out, doesn't it?

Sheila leans over and whispers furiously

to her father.

SHEILA:

You're using Theo for your own deviant

purposes!

KASTLE:

Look who's talking!

SHEILA:

Leave him alone!

KASTLE:

Just because your mother signed part

ownership of the lanes over to you,

doesn't mean you have a right to tell me

how to run my business! I can have my

lawyers take that deed away from you like

that.

(snaps his fingers)

Sheila and Kastle sit up.

KASTLE:

Junior, how 'bout a riddle?

JUNIOR:

(turns to Sheila)

Sheila. Knock-knock.

Sheila glances nervously at Theo.

JUNIOR:

(impatiently)

Come on Sheila, knock-knock.

SHEILA:

Who's there?

JUNIOR:

Junior.

SHEILA:

Junior who?

JUNIOR:

J'you-and-your-friend do it yet?

(laughs)

KASTLE:

(laughing)

Fantastic! What talent.

SHEILA:

(caustically)

You still got the touch Junior.

CUT TO:

57 EXT. KASTLE HOUSE, CAKE 57

A bowling pin-shaped cake with candles ablaze is presented to

a seated Junior. He is wearing a paper birthday hat. The four

orange whips are arrayed around the table.

KASTLE:

Make a wish, son.

Junior stares into Sheila's eyes for several seconds.

JUNIOR:

Same wish as last year.

Sheila blows out the candles in a hurry.

SHEILA:

It won't come true, Junior.

Kastle places a gift-wrapped box in front of Junior and lifts

the lid. He reaches in and pulls out a huge, intricate claw-

like arm-shaped device made of plastic and metal and covered

with cables.

KASTLE:

It's a bowling claw. You can bowl now,

Junior. With the whole family. Junior

beams at the group.

KASTLE:

(puts one arm around Junior and

one on Theo)

Pretty soon everybody can bowl!

The two sleazeballs walk up onto the deck and over to the

table.

SID:

Hello Mr. Kastle.

(nods to seated party)

Junior, long time. I thought they locked

you up and threw away the warden!

BREEZE:

Is it true they blacked out the whole

county giving you electro-shock? Junior

looks from one man to the other,

breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring.

JUNIOR:

Knock, knock.

BREEZE:

Who's...

SID:

(interrupting)

Don't do it Breeze!

(to Junior)

You ain't getting us into that.

Kastle gets up.

KASTLE:

Hey, enough fun and games. We have work

to do. Come on Junior. Kastle heads for

his car. Junior gets up and follows. The

two sleazeballs tarry as Theo stands.

SID:

(to Theo)

If Junior thinks you're doing the bouncy-

bouncy with his sister, he's gonna tap

dance on your spleen.

(pokes Theo in the side)

BREEZE:

(pulls down Theo's collar to

reveal the hickey)

With cleats.

The two men turn, laughing, and follow Kastle.

58 EXT. KASTLE HOUSE, DRIVEWAY58

Kastle huddles with Sid and Breeze, Jr. stands nearby

fiddling with his new bowling arm.

KASTLE:

Buzz has been moving the cash out in

hollow bowling pins. Sid and Breeze throw

sideways glances at each other.

SID:

No!

KASTLE:

I want you two to pick up Buzz and bring

him to lane six. Junior will take it from

there.

JUNIOR:

(perks up at mention of lane

six)

I'm gonna play Blue Face!

CUT TO:

59 EXT. BABYLON LANES, PARKING LOT59

Buzz checks if the coast is clear and then stuffs boxes of

bowling pins into the trunk of his car.

CUT TO:

60 EXT. KASTLE HOUSE, DECK 60

Theo and Kastle stand on the deck watching the sleazeballs

put Junior into the trunk of their car. Kastle lights an

oversized cigar and hands one to Theo.

MILES:

Champ, as soon as you get back on the

tour, we should do an instructional

videotape. 'RAMBOWL' Theo Skinner teaches

Power Bowling. You on the cover with a

flame thrower. Kastle lights Theo's cigar

and they puff away.

KASTLE:

Theo, how would you like to be my new

partner?

THEO:

You already have a partner Mr. Kastle.

Sheila walks over as the sleazeballs' car

pulls out of the driveway.

KASTLE:

I think Buzz is retiring soon. In fact, I

think he's retiring tonight. Kastle pulls

out a shiny gold credit card and holds it

in front of Sheila.

KASTLE:

Here, Bunny. Why don't you two go and do

something fun tonight, on me. Sheila is

lured to the scent of the plastic like a

junkie to a fix.

KASTLE:

One thing, stay away from the lanes. If

Junior sees you two together, he'll

swallow his tongue.

She reaches for the card and Kastle

snatches it away from her with a chortle.

KASTLE:

What did I say?

SHEILA:

Don't go near the bowling alley.

KASTLE:

(enunciating clearly)

Bowling "Center"!

Kastle hands her the card and heads into the house.

SHEILA:

It wouldn't bother you if Buzz was in

danger, would it?

THEO:

Nope, I couldn't care less.

SHEILA:

I'm sure you wouldn't care if he needed

your help, right?

THEO:

Why should I help that old f***.

SHEILA:

(sarcastically)

Yeah, what did Buzz Fazeli ever do for

you?

THEO:

Zip.

SHEILA:

And besides, it's probably too late,

anyhow.

THEO:

(exhaling cigar smoke)

Way too late. Buzz Fazeli is history.

(goes to take another drag,

then stops)

Too late for what?

She turns away.

SHEILA:

Nothing.

THEO:

Too late for what, Sheila?

SHEILA:

You know how people with broken bones

know when there's a storm coming?

THEO:

You got any broken bones?

SHEILA:

No, but something's gonna blow in this

town. I can feel it.

THEO:

Are you f***ing with me Sheila? Is

something gonna happen to Buzz? Sheila

seems to be trying to tell Theo, but is

unable.

SHEILA:

(faltering)

I can't tell you, Theo.

THEO:

Why not?

SHEILA:

I saw your eyes when you hit that guy

with your ball on TV. THUNDER rumbles.

Theo takes Sheila by the shoulders.

THEO:

(gently)

Tell me, Sheila. What are you afraid of?

Sheila shakes her head.

SHEILA:

I'm afraid you'll hurt him.

THEO:

It's Junior, isn't it.

SHEILA:

(starting to cry)

I can't - I can't do it.

(she looks up through her tears

at Theo)

He's my brother.

THEO:

He's my father.

CUT TO:

61 EXT. BUZZ'S HOUSE - NIGHT 61

Sid and Breeze's car sits in front of Buzz's house. 8-track

opera PLAYS on the car stereo. A man screams and glass

smashes.

INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE

P.O.V. shot running desperately through the house, knocking

things over, smashing things. We HEAR Buzz screaming in

terror. The scream is cut off. With a THUD, the camera falls

over and hits the floor. The golf ball rolls slowly into

view, and stops. Footsteps recede, a door slams, and a car

drives away.

CUT TO:

62 EXT. MILES 'O' LANES - NIGHT 62

Theo and Sheila walk her Vespa up to the darkened alley. Theo

is wearing his own clothes again. The SOUND of a lone bowler

is heard. Theo straps on his wristbrace. Sheila pulls out

keys.

SHEILA:

These open the back door. Don't let him

catch you behind the machines; if he

does, you're trapped. I'll meet you at

the bridge. Theo takes the keys. Sheila

grabs his arm.

SHEILA:

You don't have to do this. We could just

cut out of here, go to Akron, or

anywhere else.

THEO:

(dislodging her hand gently)

I'll be at the bridge.

63 INT. MILES 'O' LANES 63

Theo snakes his way along the rows of pin machines, towards

the only light source - lane six. As he leans in to peer

through the machine, a ball EXPLODES into the pins. Junior,

wearing his elaborate bowling claw, is working himself into a

sweaty froth. Junior picks up his ball and sends it CRASHING

into the pins.

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