Speechless Page #6

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- Really?

OK. Let me, uh...

let me run something by you, Baggie.

How 'bout a piece on Garvin's handlers?

You know, kind of a

behind-the-scenes kinda thing.

- Been done.

- Not like this. You could follow us around,

all day, all night. See how I write

a speech from beginning to end.

- What do you think?

- Interesting. What's the access?

Open. You know?

No closed doors. Day and night.

Spend all your time with me,

I don't... I don't care.

Call it "Handling of a Candidate"

or somethin'.

- Nah, I don't know.

- What? Don't like it?

To the end of the campaign? I made

a commitment to be with my fiancee.

What the hell, Baggie.

I mean, she'll understand.

What kind of woman would she be

if she didn't understand?

Damn. Got one of those

damn canker sores.

- Those are painful.

- Do you ever get them?

- Right up here? How 'bout down here?

- No.

- You have a lip tattoo?

- A lip tattoo?

- Oh, my God!

- We have to be able to put a spin on this.

- Oh, disaster!

- Channel Two.

We interrupt our regular broadcast

to bring you this special news flash,

On this, day 16 of Bear Watch,

Teddy has been safely rescued

from a well at the Albuquerque Zoo,

It was senatorial candidate

Lloyd Wannamaker

who was the first to pull

the bear cub to safety,

Wannamaker took time out

from his campaign

to dig with other concerned citizens,

Get back to me as soon as possible.

We're living a nightmare.

With other concerned citizens looking on,

Senate candidate Lloyd Wannamaker

was the first to pull

the exhausted cub to safety,

This bear is truly an inspiration,

He taught me that even when all is lost,

when the polls tell you

to throw in the towel,

there's always a light

at the end of the well! Huh?

- No more than three points, tops.

- Three points?

The guy just saved Winnie the Pooh,

and you say three points!

Why didn't you think of it, genius?

And you, too, Annette. He's your guy.

New Mexican tycoon Alan Proctor

was in the news again

with rumblings

from a Santa Fe grand jury,,,

Mr Vallick? For you.

- You won't believe it! You really won't!

- Julia, this is enemy territory.

- You'll get in trouble.

- I'm press secretary.

- You're kidding!

- No!

Wow, that's great! Good for you.

Let me ask you a question. The bear

thing. That was your idea, right?

Yes! They fired Kratz and they made me

press secretary. And I owe it all to you.

- No!

- Yes, because that idea and everything...

Anyway, I just... I wanted to thank you.

I wish there was some way

that I could repay you.

- But perhaps you'll accept a mint.

- A mint?

Yeah.

Well, a mint.

It was a lot of advice,

the number one news story.

Hang on. You're right.

And... some shampoo.

Oh, well, there you go. Mint and shampoo.

Done deal. And it's organic.

So what did, uh...

what did Bob say about all this?

Oh, I haven't told him yet.

Really? You came here first?

Yeah. Well, you know, you were closer.

Geographically.

I'm pretty close now, actually.

Geographically.

Anyway, I better go. Um...

- I have to go tell, uh...

- Bob.

- Yeah. Anyway, thank you.

- Sure.

You're a good friend, but I am

gonna kick your ass in November.

- Well, I wouldn't bet on that.

- Oh, I would bet on it if I were...

- Que,,, que, uh,,, que hacen aqui?

- Uh... Necesito una toalla,

Oh, look at that.

They were there all the time. Funny.

Thank you. See ya.

Don't feel bad, She didn't appreciate you,

So, yeah. It's a... behind-the-scenes thing.

"The Handling of a Candidate".

But the point is, I'll be with the campaign

24 hours a day from now till the election.

- You said we'd spend time together.

- Yes. I'm doing it on your campaign.

I'm doing it on you,

- What do you think, press secretary?

- I'll see if I can get it cleared.

- Hey, you want a little more?

- Yeah, thanks.

I think we are stuck together

for the rest of our lives, for all eternity!

I can't think of a more frightening idea,

Bob? Let's say you were

married for one year,

and your wife comes to you

and says "I met a man at a party."

"I slept with him. I promise it'll never

happen again. I still love only you."

What would you say?

Well, I'd say "Hey, you know, I love you

too. I won't pretend it doesn't hurt me,

but maybe we should just

get some counselling

and try to put the whole thing behind us."

- But you'd forgive her?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd have to forgive her.

- OK?

- Yeah, sure.

Helen was too selfish for you,

You can't be selfish

and be a friend at the same time,

Friendship is about self-sacrifice,

Sacrifice is a two-way street, Like us,

"You see, Timmy"!

What? Timmy?

Honey, who's Timmy?

Con la noche que me diste

Y el momento

que con besos construiste

No se tu

Pero yo te he comenzado a extranar

En mi almohada no te dejo de pensar

- Hello?

- Another word for "misconstrued"?

What's the, uh, context?

"My position on education has been

misconstrued by my opponent."

"Has been, uh... distorted."

Great, Thanks,

I knew you wouldn't be sleeping,

Do you have a minute to talk?

Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. I was just,

uh, finishing a letter to, uh, your mom.

- Say "hi" for me,

- Sure will.

- Can we meet?

- Yeah.

Sure. Let's meet in about, uh, 20 minutes.

So, uh... how are you doin'? You and Bob.

- Notice I didn't say Baja Bob.

- Thanks. Um...

Uh, great. We're... He's great.

Good. Great in what way?

It's for your mom's letter.

You know, uh... generous. He fills

my room with roses. Stuff like that.

In fact, the thing

I needed to talk to you about...

Right.

See, I'm not sure that we shouldn't...

not see each other any more.

You're not sure we should, or...

you're sure that we should?

- I'm sure that we shouldn't.

- See each other?

Wait a minute. Didn't you call me?

Yes, right. I called you

because I needed to tell you

that we shouldn't

see each other any more.

Did we just enter another dimension?

Why do you keep meeting with me,

- to tell me that you can't meet with me?

- Because it doesn't make any sense.

My life doesn't make any sense.

We don't make any sense.

- Nothing makes any sense. I have to go.

- No, wait. Wait a minute.

- You just got here.

- I have to get up really early.

Bob is doing this

behind-the-scenes thing...

- Right. I know.

...on the campaign and me.

He... What?

Um, the days and nights

of a press secretary.

Right through till the election.

- "The Handling of a Candidate"?

- Yeah.

So, uh, we'll be spending a lot of time

together, and with his crew around...

Anyway, I'm engaged. OK?

And, yes, it is a trial engagement,

I'll give you that.

But still, I'm not being fair

to Bob if I'm here.

I know you'll say "But we're friends."

Maybe friendship

is an element in every relationship.

Is Bob my friend? I don't know.

But what I'm trying to say is...

I have to go.

Good evening. I'm Jim Rodriguez.

In a campaign that seemed to provide

more debate behind the scenes than in

front, it finally comes down to two men.

And though polls have Wannamaker

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