Speechless Page #7

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ahead, experts believe that Garvin

can only win tonight

with a clear knockout.

(Bob) The white bull. That's what

Hemingway called the blank page.

Every day the writer has to

look that bull right between the eyes,

with those dreaded words still looming:

"Deadline, deadline, deadline."

Good, like that. That's great.

Ba-bee-bee-bee, ba-ba-boo, ba-ba.

Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh.

Rik-tik-tik-tik-ting.

Ten tiny tots on the train tracks.

Ten tiny tots on the t-t...

You know, gotta keep the tongue loose.

Uh, guys, let's get a close-up on

the screen now, see how she's doin' here.

Oh, boy. You got a long way to go, huh?

- Something's been distracting you, Kev.

- I'm not distracted.

And it's costing us. Ever since the bear

they've been getting the better of you.

- Who has?

- Wannamaker.

- Oh, yeah.

- And I need that script for the infomercial.

All right, all right, all right.

What are you tryin' to do here?

- Ooh! Ow!

- God, Jules! You all right?

- Uh-huh.

- That was smart. Sweetheart?

- Oh, I'm fine.

- I'm gonna get you some ice for that.

With the debate now only moments away,

now the fight with nerves begins.

Like Grenada, 1983, with the airborne

division waiting for the night drop.

Good. Cut.

Oh, shoot. No, man,

I... I gotta get her the...

- Hello?

- One minute!

Hello?

Anybody home? Hey, Jules?

Hey, Jules, listen. I got a great idea.

I've been meaning to run this by you.

Bob, I'm a little busy right now.

How 'bout we put a camera on your head,

right? That way we can get your POV.

What do you think?

We gotta get you suited up.

I'm not walking around

with a camera mounted on my head.

Well, why not? Julie-cam. It's perfect.

Hey, is somethin' wrong?

Something's wrong, isn't it?

- Yes.

- What?

- I can't do this.

- Well, the camera's not that heavy.

It's lightweight, it's got fibre optics,

remote control. It's...

Oh, sh*t.

Is it Timmy?

All right, people, five-minute warning!

We're live in five!

God.

- Kevin, this is not a good time.

- I know. But listen. I...

What's on your eye?

What is that, a hickey?

- Yes. Yes, it's a hickey.

- Look, wait a minute. Julia.

I have only one thing to say to you.

- You can't marry Freed.

- Why?

Why? All right, I didn't

expect you to ask me that. Uh...

Wait a minute!

- How many minutes?

- Four.

- Julia, listen.

- Shh!

Julia. You can't marry Freed. Ask me why.

- Why?

- Because...

Julia,

every day I don't see you...

is painful to me.

Every day I can't

press my lips against yours...

I feel like I'm gonna die.

Better?

Oh, yeah.

Please... I really need to do this.

This is so crazy. We're gonna get fired.

- Dan! Hi!

- Hey!

- All right. Let me see.

- Is it gone?

Got it. She had a little piece

of spinach there we were trying to get.

Julia, drink a toast to Teddy for me.

- Thank you.

- Hi. Kevin, isn't it? Sitcom writer.

Exactly.

I was thinking about

what you said about running.

- You were heading off.

- I gotta get goin'.

No! No, don't leave.

Watch the debate from here.

I think I can make that happen. There's

a congressional seat up in Rhode Island.

- Three minutes!

- OK. Three minutes. Good.

- Think about it.

- Great. Thank... Oh, God.

- We gotta talk about this.

- Hey. Bob Freed.

- Have you met Kevin?

- Uh, yeah. Sure. We're drinking buddies.

- Since when?

- Kind of.

I heard about the behind-the-scenes thing,

Baggie. Great idea.

That was before Timmy.

- Jules is a lot like you. She writes for...

- Whoever pays the most!

- So what are you workin' on now, Kevin?

- Oh, good, everyone's here.

- OK. Everybody ready?

- Kevin was just telling us about his latest.

Yeah. He's a good writer.

It's shaping up great.

- You've read it?

- Of course.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I show

everything I write to Lee.

- Ah. What's it called?

- What's it called? Uh...

"Health Care Reform". "Show."

- It's the "Health Care Reform Show".

- Ten seconds!

- What is it, um, comedy? Drama?

- Uh, it's... it's a little of both.

- We got Florence Henderson lined up...

- Now is no time to play partisan politics.

- Cue music.

- Oh, look.

Good evening, and welcome to

the New Mexico Senatorial Debate,

I'm lan Campbell,

and I'll be your moderator,

Tonight will be

your one chance to examine

the men who hope to represent you for

the next six years in our nation's capital,

It is an important decision,

and one we hope you will take seriously

when you go to the polls

next week to cast your ballot,

(whispers) God, you smell great.

Let's get outta here.

- Yeah.

- I'll meet you outside.

You go first.

You have said that Garvin

has run a Hollywood-slick campaign,

- Kevin, where you goin'?

- Uh, you know what, I... I'll be...

I think I hear my car alarm out there.

Is that what that sound is?

It's really improved,

Oh. Hey. You know, I have to

just go call my mom, uh...

...to take her pills.

She falls down if she doesn't take them.

The... the not-falling-down pills.

,, but we raised the spirits of a state,

Let's get outta here.

- Ooh.

- What's that?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Let's go.

Did you do it on purpose?

From the Latin, "paranoia".

- Come here.

- I am so glad to be outta there.

By the way, I'm not marrying Bob.

- You're not?

- No.

I'm glad to see Mr Wannamaker

taking a more conciliatory tone,

Good choice.

I've made no bones about it, in fact, that

this has been an unnecessarily dirty,,,

,, wherever you park your car,,,

- America cannot be seduced,

- What's goin' on?

- America cannot be debauched,

- Wait. Wait.

,, has flames of fire in him, and has skin,,,

What's going on?

Somebody tell me what this is.

- My money's on Garvin.

- Has Wannamaker lost some weight?

(Tarzan yell)

I don't have to tell you who gets hurt

first when this sort of thing happens,

Me, Tarzan,

Jane, Tarzan, Jane, Tarzan, Jane,

(Tarzan yell)

- Ha!

- What?

Oh, yeah. Those were

my serial-killer years.

(snorts)

- Did you just snort?

- No.

Yes, you did. You laughed,

and then you snorted.

- (snorts)

- See?

There you go again. You're

snort-laughing. It's a common thing.

Actually coulda used a snort-laugh here.

Whoo! Such a bad attitude.

Oh, I hate when people say "Smile!"

- Yeah. Guess so.

- Hey, isn't this some...

- That's my ex-wife. Why's that in there?

- You're kidding! You and Annette?

I know. There's no explanation

for some things.

I don't understand it either.

Probably a lot like you and Bob.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- So what... what finally happened there?

- What ended it this time?

- The behind-the-scenes thing killed it.

Really?

- That's too bad.

- At least say it like you mean it.

OK. Let me try it.

Well, that's too bad. How's that?

- Kevin.

- Julia.

Say you've been married for a year,

and your wife says...

- Is this a test?

- Yes. "I met a man at a party,

I slept with him. I promise it'll never

happen again, and I still love only you."

- What would you do?

- I'd take her to a really romantic spot,

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