Spice World Page #4

That's enough.

Shall we do our own thing?

Can't even understand them.

They talk so strange.

That's it. We're gonna

get fit, fit, fit.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

Attention! Turn right!

3, 4, love it.

Make your mothers proud of you.

What sort of men

are you, anyway?

Left, right, left, right,

left, right, left, right.

Left, right, left, right.

Right, then. Spice Girls,

regimental chant!

Get in there!

Where are you going?

Get out of those tubes!

Up that ramp!

Hold that rope!

That is not correct!

I'll give you not correct.

- No, I...

- Get him!

- Shoo-tanoo...

- I'll give you shoo-tanoo!

Lights out!

It's not even dark yet.

And you, Melanie.

It's pathetic that we can't

even sleep in our own rooms.

What are we making such a fuss?

It's only an old house.

A big old house.

A big, very old,

haunted, big, old house.

I had this horrible

dream last night.

We were doing the live show,

and I went on stage.

I was just about to open my gob,

and nowt came out.

But something

even more weird happened.

- You didn't have a head?

- Yeah. How did you know?

- I had exactly the same dream.

- No way. No.

I had exactly the same dream,

but much worse.

You see, I had a head,

but with no make-up.

Oh, no.

I don't understand.

What does it mean?

Probably our subconscious minds,

so we don't have to deal with

our anxieties when we're awake.

Like we'll be scared

of this live show.

And that we won't

be able to sing.

And it's gonna be

a complete disaster.

Oh, no.

Let's just stay here together.

Squash up.

I'm going to sleep now.

I really hate you, McMaxford!

I hate you!

Look at that!

Look at that! More stories!

More evil harpoons

from the press!

I wouldn't let it bother you.

Chill out.

What's wrong with you?

The press can just flick off.

Makes me want to

strangle something.

If we took any notice of that

press, we'd go mad like you.

"I just can't take any more."

"It's all lies!

I'm not like that!"

"Bring me a straitjacket!"

Yes, you can laugh!

He's so uptight.

He's gonna have a heart attack.

Maybe he's not getting

enough nookie.

Could be.

It would be perfect

if he fancied Deborah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

I reckon he's got

a chance with her.

She hasn't had

a boyfriend in six months.

No. He doesn't fancy her.

He doesn't look at her

when he's talking to her.

That doesn't matter.

You know what men are like.

They don't like showing

their emotions.

There's these animals

in the jungle or rainforest.

When the male is courting

the female, he pees on her.

Geri, do you have to?

It's his way of showing

that he fancies her.

And afterwards they mate.

Call me old-fashioned,

but I prefer flowers.

OK, baby, here's where

we get high-concept.

Eight miles high.

An Air Force

Stealth bomber is hijacked

by extraterrestrial terrorists.

Inside the pilot's pocket

is a computer disk

with a virus encoded on it

that is so deadly,

it could destroy the world.

The prime minister

has no choice.

He has to call in

the Spice Force Five.

Can you see the merchandising?

Action figures?

Crack operatives in their own

field, a martial arts expert...

Counter-espionage agent...

explosives expert...

The master of disguise...

Girl Power.

Equalisation between the sexes.

And...ohh...Victoria.

- Then what? Back to reality?

- Absolutely.

Hey, yeah. Yeah. Why not?

What...kind of reality

are you interested in? I'm open.

Competition winners.

The chance to make those fantasy

figures become a reality.

Dreams come true.

The stuff of fairy tales.

How's it feel to have won

the trip with the Spice Girls?

It's great.

I expect your friends

are really jealous.

- Yes.

- I'm sure they are.

I love you, Victoria!

How's that sound? A bit noisy?

Planes, dogs, traffic.

We won't be using

this bit anyway. Come on.

I hate that. Can't get

a word in edgewise.

They treat us like bloody kids.

Welcome to the Spicebus.

Cool.

Girls, competition winners.

- Hello!

- Hello!

Balloons, cakes,

sandwiches. Fun, fun.

Do you want a Polaroid?

Jack and Evie, isn't it?

Do you want something to eat?

Why are there

fish paste sarnies at parties?

- No one likes them.

- I know.

Must be great

being a Spice Girl.

It's really good. Yeah.

Be even better without

our fascist slave driver

bossing us about!

Let's escape from this place!

Don't worry.

She does this all the time.

She is mad.

When I say "Go," we go.

- Go!

- Grab some crisps!

- Let's go!

- Where are we going?

Just go with the flow!

Take it easy, girls.

- Where are they going?

- They're being spontaneous.

If they want to be spontaneous,

they have to clear it

with me first.

Come on. Let's go!

Can we have a ride on your boat?

There's an aquatic

adventure happening here.

We need a really

serious speedboat.

- Dennis, follow them!

- I'm on a trail, Clifford.

The Spice Girls at sea.

What an extraordinary

combination

of Girl Power and horsepower.

Can't this thing go any faster?

Avanti!

Deborah, can you please explain

what the hell is going on here?

They're just having fun.

You know, rock 'n' roll.

Rock 'n' roll is

getting off your face

and throwing TVs out of windows.

I don't remember boats.

They're dancing.

Can we have them dancing?

I hear singing.

Can you get

what they're singing?

Don't you remember being a kid?

What?

Falling over in the playground,

scraping your knees.

Deborah, what planet

are you from?

Hold on!

Water on the lens.

Here they come.

Stop!

Stop!

Oh, my...

A child in the water!

I want a close-up!

- All I get is you shouting.

- Shush, then!

Turn it round! Quick!

Don't worry! I'll save them!

At last, a real drama!

Oof! Sorry!

Get off! I'm filming.

I got a loud splash, Piers.

Just great!

Parents lend us their kids,

and we drown them!

- Wow, that was brilliant!

- Yeah, wicked!

That was not

supposed to happen!

- You OK?

- We're fine.

You mean I got wet for nothing?

- Help!

- What?

This dress is

dryclean only, Melanie!

Are there sharks in the Thames?

Shut up.

They're coming!

Whose idea was this?

- Yours.

- Yours.

Can we do it again?

- Do you want to wear this?

- I'm not that desperate.

- Easy! Easy!

- Are you all right?

Do you realise what'll happen

if this gets out?

And more drama concerning

the Spice Girls.

Today, two young

competition winners

had a dramatic escape

when they fell

from a speeding boat

on the River Thames.

This report from James Platt.

Would you like a rescue remedy?

It's time for a chat.

Look at this!

Front page news again.

Suppose you had been drowned?

- We weren't.

- Speak for yourself.

What do you think you're doing?

- We were just having fun.

- What?

You know, fun,

like ha-ha-ha-ha-ha?

We're old enough to be

responsible for our own lives.

You don't have a life.

You have a schedule.

You are part of

a well-oiled global machine.

People are working

their butts off for you.

- People like Deborah.

- Leave my butt out of this.

Just don't be so

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