Splash Page #3

get out of the way. What's going on?

Okay, miss. This ain't California.

We don't go for this.

[ Booing ]

[ Boat Whistle ]

- What's your name?

- She don't speak no English.

- And you do?

- Here. She was carrying this.

What's this?

Who's this guy?

Is that enough? Do you want some more?

That's all we can handle. Let's talk terms.

- He doesn't have a clue.

- Don't worry.

We'll move it out in the morning.

Bauer. Your brother told me about...

your unfortunate experience in Vietnam.

Huh?

The incident in Vietnam. Remember?

The grenade still bother you?

You're wearing a bandage.

Page him. Hey, Al?

- Yeah?

- Phone.

Um, excuse me.

Thanks,Jerry. Yeah?

Allen Bauer. Speaking.

Yeah. On my way!

I believe this--

Allen, where are you going?

Allen!

- What happened?

- Telephone.

He was on the phone in Nam

when the grenade went off.

Ever since then, he runs,

gets in a car, and drives away.

- Oh.

- I don't know why.

- It just happens.

- Oh.

Let's review this.

[ Siren ]

Pardon me. Excuse me!

- [ Bell Rings ]

- Mr. Police Offcer?

Hey! Take it easy.

What do you want?

My name's Allen Bauer. You guys called me.

Any of you guys call for an Allen Bauer?

Bauer. Yeah. That's for her.

Right over there.

Hi.

I take it you know this girl?

Yeah, I do.

Who is she?

I don't know.

Of course.

Afternoon. You're home early.

Yeah.

Uh,

that doorway spins.

Want to get this fxed, Timmy?

- Hi.

- Hello.

##[ Allen Sings ]

#Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Zip-a-dee-ay #

#Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder #

#It's the truth, it's actual

Everything is satisfactual #

#Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Zip-a-dee-ay #

d My, oh, my

What a wonderful day d

Room service.

I didn't know what you liked,

so I got you a choice.

Fruity Pebbles, pancakes--

No. No.

No-no-no-no-no-no-no.

I've got to get back to work.

That will keep you company.

When I come back from work,

we'll get some dinner,

and pick you up some clothes.

Not that you don't look

spectacular in my robe.

Okay? Bye-bye.

No. Please.

You're gonna put me in the hospital.

It's about 3:
00. I really have to get back.

You are wonderful.

Bye-bye. Bye.

[ TV]

Things don't get started again until 4:00.

Let's not be so choosy with these onions.

Some of these are perfectly good onions.

[ Allen ]

Everybody, zip-a-dee-doo-dah.!

#Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Zip-a-dee-ay #

d My, oh, my

What a wonderful day d

#Plenty of sunshine

heading my way #

d Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Zip-a-dee-ay d

d Mr. Mango on my shoulder d

- Freddie, dance with me!

- Please, not in front of the teamsters.

- Come on, they're happy guys.

- You're a rotten lead.

I've got the Buyrite contracts ready.

- Want to check them?

- No.

You check them. You know the business.

- So I'm in charge?

- Sure.

What about the lawyer's meeting at 8:00?

I'm going upstairs and take a nap.

Wake me when it's time to go home.

d Zip-a-dee-- dd

Jerry, handle those for me!

[ TVAnnouncer]

Anne Klein.

Bloomingdale's.

Anne Klein.

Bloomingdale's.

The Anne Klein Collection, available at...

Bloomingdale's.

Can I help you?

Can't you talk?

- Bloomingdale's?

- Sure. Hey!

Oh, my god.

Darling. Darling.

Darling! That outft, it's to die from.

What happened?

You saw Annie Hall 1 00 times?

That look is over.

You want to try that on?

Who knows? Maybe it's you.

I couldn't get one leg in there.

My daughter is lucky. She's anorexic.

Please call again. Don't forget these.

Do yourself a favor and stop

in the lingerie department.

A pretty girl like you

shouldn't wear boxer shorts.

[ Boy ]

Let me try!

[ TVAnnouncer]

Colgate Winter Fresh gel--

And now, we continue with Capitol.

Wear the adjustable-angle

mascara by Revlon.

Maximum fluoride protection

in a great-tasting gel.

It's Crazy Eddie's

greatest clearance sale ever!

Crazy Eddie's slashing prices...

on stereo equipment, video equipment,

color TV's, car stereos, CB's, phones,

disco equipment

and professional products,

plus a selection offloor

samples and demonstrators...

priced at or below cost.

It's Crazy Eddie's greatest sale ever,

going on right now

with prices that are insane.!

Crazy Eddie,1 2 great locations. Manhattan,

the Bronx, Brooklyn, Syosset, Paramus,

East Brunswick, Union,

Westchester, Westbury and Norwalk.

dd [ Humming ]

d Zip-a-dee-doo-dah d

Hello?

I'm home.!

[ Ding ]

- I'm looking for a girl, Timmy.

- 200 bucks.

No, the blonde I came in with.

- Oh, she left.

- Any idea where?

- I put her in a cab.

- To where, Timmy?

- Bloomingdale's.

- Bloomingdale's. great. Thanks.

Yo! Hey, taxi! Hey!

Halt, taxi, please!

d She works hard

for the money d

Come on, come on. Let's go!

d She works hard for the money

so you better treat her right d

Excuse me, miss,

we're getting ready to close.

She's been here for six hours.

Excuse me, miss.

I'm going to insist that--

that you stop doing that.

She's exercising.

give her... a minute.

Sir, we're closing.

I know.

Just give me three minutes.

- Come back.

- Three minutes. You can time me!

Oh, thank god.

Excuse me. Do you know this woman?

Yeah.Just don't ask me her name.

We've been trying to tell her

it's closing time,

but she doesn't seem to understand.

That's because she doesn't speak English.

Hello, Allen. How was your day?

I never went to college,

but wasn't that English?

Thank you for letting me use your television.

It was very educational.

It's all right, miss.

What's your name?

It's hard to say in English.

Well,just say it in your language.

All right. My name is...

[ Screech ]

Hey, how 'bout those Knicks?

I'm confused why you haven't

said anything until now.

- I didn't know English.

- I see. Now you do?

I learned from television. It's wonderful!

I'll ask questions

and if you answer correctly,

you can win one of these prizes.

A wall clock, matching washer and dryer,

or a brand-new car!

Let me go frst, okay?

Who are you? Where are you from?

Begin when you were born...

and fnish when you blew up the TV's.

Pretty.

Well, yeah. I've never

thought about it before.

Are you from Cape Cod?

No, I'm from another place.

Yeah? I've got a cousin from there.

Ha-ha-ha.

Are you an American?

No.

Then why were you in

Cape Cod and now New York?

- How did the cops fnd you naked?

- What's that?

What? The music?

I like music! I heard some in the television,

Dance Fever.

d Hey, I love you, girl d

- d Darling d

- Ah, hi, hi.

We better go, hon, or else we'll be late.

- You never heard music?

- What's that?

- Ah--

- [ Car Horn ]

- [ Crash ]

- Oh, gosh!

- What's that?

- It's a movie theater.

What the hell you doin'?

You coulda got me killed!

Cut her some slack.

She's from out of town.

- Keep her on a leash.

- Yeah, yeah. Have a nice day.

Hello?

Did you see this?

It's wonderfully delicious

and so good for you.

While you're here, watch a little less TV.

How long are you going to be in town?

Six fun-flled days.

Oh, six days.

Is that all?

Six days,

and the moon is full.

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