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and you perform sexual favors.

Is that what this is about?

- We're friends.

- We're friends?

Friends who...

f***.

Okay, how about we're

friends who f***

and you don't

stay here anymore?

- Fine.

- Great.

I don't know how

that's gonna work.

I don't have a car,

so I can't...

it's not... I can't come over.

And I don't have a place,

so it's not like you can come and...

f*** me,

so, l... I guess if we're...

and as my friend,

I think you should be

a little bit concerned

that I don't have

a place to live.

You are a real piece of work.

# Help #

# Standing at the door,

there's a man to meet #

# Shaking on my hand... #

#As he starts to speak #

# And he just might be afraid,

he just might be afraid #

# I don't want to hear

what he's gonna say #

# Oh, oh-oh #

# Oh, oh-oh-oh #

# Oh, oh-oh-oh #

# Oh, oh-oh-oh... #

- Is everything all right?

- No.

These pancakes are sour.

They're buttermilk pancakes.

They're supposed to be sour.

Oh, maybe you're right.

- Good.

- Excuse me.

What's your name?

- Heather.

- Hi, Heather. I'm Nikki.

- Hi, Nikki, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Have you worked here long?

- Three days.

Really? You new to LA?

Why? You want

to show me around?

I don't... um, yeah, okay.

I'm from here.

Okay. Maybe you

can show me around.

I don't think so.

Can I get you anything else?

How about a phone number?

Why? 'Cause we're

so compatible?

I don't know. I just thought we'd get

a cup of coffee or something.

When I leave here,

the last thing I want is coffee.

Hey, maybe we could go on a hike?

No. No hikes.

We could just talk.

We're talking now,

and don't take this personally...

it's not that you're not

a brilliant conversationalist...

Okay okay okay.

Why don't you just

give me your phone number?

Because I don't

want you to call me.

Whenever you're ready.

She's hot, huh?

Yeah.

- I delivered some stuff.

- Oh, hey, man. How you doing?

Hello.

I was expecting a phone call,

but this'll work.

Who the f*** do you think you are

making me chase down my money?

I'm sorry. l... how did

you find this place?

Your friend,

the delivery guy.

Right.

Where's my money, a**hole?

- It's inside. You wanna come in?

- No, I don't want to come in.

Uh, look, I didn't...

See ya.

I'm gonna get some lemonade.

Do you want some lemonade?

Lemonade sounds good.

Okay.

Ah!

- Oh!

- Oh God!

- Oh!

- Slap it!

- Oh!

- Nasty!

- In your ass!

- Love that!

I love the tennis, man.

I love the girls' noises...

- You can't go wrong with girls' tennis.

- No. No. Girls' tennis.

It's the best.

Hey, can you do me a favor?

Yeah, sure.

Tomorrow morning,

there's this girl working

at this coffee shop, right?

I got a little thing

going with her.

Yeah.

I just need you

to help me work this out.

Excellent. When in doubt,

call your friend Harry.

All right, look.

She's seen the house,

so we gotta play it up.

Hey, I'm not your assistant.

Is she coming now?

Come on.

You're killing me, Charlie.

Look, your lawyer blue-lined it,

you agreed to it.

- I'll have the oatmeal...

- Do you want to do this or not?

- No raisins please.

- Excellent.

- All right. Where we at with Jim Case?

- Jim Casey.

Sh*t. Where'd I lose ya?

- You gonna order?

- It's... it's...

He's gonna get

the eggs over easy

- and... and a muffin.

- Can I talk to you later?

All right.

I need a new phone.

Apparently.

That was brutal.

That was karma...

boss.

Is that your car, the Mercedes?

Yeah.

You're getting a ticket.

- What do you want?

- Wow, you have beautiful hands.

Can I see your hand?

Can I see... they're beautiful.

- Could you...

- Somebody...

would you do

a little spin for me?

- Are you kidding?

- No no no, just a little spin.

Just... just a little light...

that's it.

Just like this.

We're... we're like it's

a street party, Doris.

- Look, give me one of these...

- Yeah, yeah yeah yeah...

Just give me one of these. Oh!

Yeah, look... look at you.

- I'm gonna give you one of these...

- You have got the moves.

- Yeah.

- All right.

- Have a good day.

- Yeah, you too.

No coffee. No hikes.

Hey, this is Nikki.

What are you doing?

I'm ironing my pants.

What are you ironing

your pants for?

Can I call you right back?

Yeah. Yeah, no problem.

Just call me back.

All right.

"I'll call you back."

Doesn't that mean like 15 minutes

or something?

You say it all the time.

You don't call me back in 15 minutes.

It's been like 12 hours.

And that sucks, doesn't it?

Right, look, you're... you're mad

'cause you can't follow your own advice.

Okay, you can always call a girl.

You can't uncall her.

Come on, man.

I like this girl.

I'm serious.

Yeah.

Why does all my stuff

smell like mothballs?

'Cause I don't want moths.

Well, what's worse,

moths or mothballs?

I don't know. If you don't like it,

you should take your sh*t.

Tell you man, between

your mothballs and your frogs.

What's wrong with the frogs?

I am Harry the frog here.

I have three frogs.

I have two tree frogs

and a bullfrog.

I don't have moths

because I have mothballs.

- All right. Get the f*** out, okay?

- Come on.

You come over here,

you start belittling me.

Just start thinking of a place

to store your sh*t

- and get the f*** out.

- It was a joke.

I don't care. Get out.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

- Hello.

- Hey there. It's Heather.

- Hey.

- Hello.

Think you might be up

for some dinner tonight?

- Where?

- Um, La Poubelle? 9:00?

- All right.

- All right. Bye now.

Okay. Bye.

Keep this open.

I'm late.

Are you mad?

Will you ever forgive me?

Maybe someday

when I'm old and gray.

Let's get a table.

Take Camp David, for example.

There's no camping.

How much better would it be

if the four dignitaries

could just pitch a tent

and hang out?

We'd have Israel, Palestine...

...talking out their differences

over a campfire roasting marshmallows.

It's just that there's a better way to

lead a superpower into the 21st century.

Hey.

I'm with friends.

She's with the commander in chief.

What are you talking about?

You're a little monkey,

you know that?

All right.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

What do you mean you have to go?

I gotta go. Rain check?

Hey.

- I'm sorry, I really am.

- What the f***?

- What happened?

- I gotta go. Nothing.

Where are you going?

- Will you call me?

- No.

- You sure?

- No, I don't think so.

Are you kidding me?

- Who are you f***ing?

- Huh?

Who are you f***ing?

Nobody.

Liar.

I need you to drive me

to the hospital.

- What for?

- Just get dressed.

Why do you go to the hospital?

Not your business.

It's none of my business.

All right.

Just drop me off.

Pick me up tomorrow.

Oh hey, is Heather here?

No, Heather doesn't

work here anymore.

"Are you alone?"

Yeah.

I love your house.

What are you doing?

Am I interrupting anything?

Yeah. A peanut butter

and jelly sandwich.

What kind of jelly?

It was jam actually.

Apricot.

I love that you know

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