Spring Forward Page #7

Four years of his life.

Don't know why it's the first thing I thought of.

Last time my father came around to...

...pay my mother for my sister and me...

...and he couldn't find work,

and my mother would cut him no slack.

Then he...

...comes out to me in the alley and...

...he says:

"Time comes, you think about having kids...

"...all's I can say is, don't."

What a start.

F***ing drunk.

F***in' a**hole loser drunk.

Last time Bobby was in the hospital, what...

...two months ago...

...l'm in there, and...

...Elaine's going out to get some orange juice.

I'm holding his hand,

and he's got all these tubes.

I was thinking, "What can I say? What can I do?"

I felt empty.

An empty room.

I'm sitting there holding his hand, and I...

That's all that's left, you know?

But it wasn't all that was left.

I had debated mentioning it to him for years.

I thought,

"It's more important he knows I love him."

In that moment, I realized...

...that I was afraid...

...to mention it.

Embarrassed.

I looked in his eyes, and his pupils were like...

...black olives.

I whispered to him:

"Bobby, you know I love you, honey.

"Something...

"...l've been needing to say.

"I wanted to for years."

It was everything I could do to get out the word...

..."apologize."

And he said, "It's so okay, Dad."

For years, I avoided mentioning it, and he says:

"It's so okay, Dad."

Regan, how's the ticker?

Fine.

I've been on my feet about five months now.

I had a bypass.

I live down the street from the Murphys.

Danny and Bobby went to the country club

to be caddies.

I didn't know that.

They hated it.

Sweating.

Something like $1 an hour.

Third day of work,

I got a call from the guy at the club.

Could I come pick Bobby and Danny up?

They were fired.

So I get there and...

...Mrs...

What's it?

Fat one, runs the Colonial Realty.

Dolores Edmondson.

She's there.

In a swimming suit,

wrapped in this huge club towel.

That sailor hat.

She caught Bobby and Danny...

...going into the women's dressing room...

...looking up under the...

...floorboards at the naked women,

next to the swimming pool.

She sees these two little sets of eyes

looking up at her, and...

...she starts screaming.

I never knew this.

So I'm driving them home. They're terrified.

In the back, neither one of them's saying a word.

Finally, Danny says under his breath:

"What a gyp!"

And Bobby goes, "Yeah.

"Three whole day's work,

and all we get to see is the whale."

Maybe that's what turned Bobby off it.

Do you think?

Maybe it is. Oh, God!

I'm sorry about that thing with the Cub Scouts.

Bobby would have been a great scout leader.

I should have stood up to them, said:

"Look, this is Bobby Murphy, for God's sake."

I'm so sorry, Murph.

Thanks for coming, Regan.

It's not up to me, you know?

It's okay.

We gotta let these things go.

Snow tomorrow.

Maybe.

No regrets.

Don't worry about anything.

That kid's putting dirty spark plugs

in a snow blower.

You might wanna...

...sandpaper those plugs

if you're gonna put the old ones back in.

Save you time.

The snow comes and it comes.

You know they got acid snow now, like acid rain?

- I told you that.

- That's what's wrong with the manger.

You know the rot at the bottom of the wise men,

where the cord comes in?

I think that's acid snow.

Either that or the wise men got athlete's foot.

We could've gotten to it today if it hadn't snowed.

You take that fiberglass tape

and stretch it real tight with epoxy.

- But you leave a hole in the bottom.

- I know.

- Not an exact bottom.

- Three inches from the bottom...

Three inches from the bottom,

so the water can't get in.

What am I worrying about?

Next year, they'll probably buy new ones.

You know, they got 'em at Wal-Mart now.

- But they're smaller.

- Paint's not right, either.

There's something about the eyes.

- Crossed or something.

- Yeah, somehow.

- But do it anyway, tomorrow.

- I will.

Because next year, I mean...

...you never know.

I will. I'll do it.

Wal-Mart.

Good thing, bad thing?

So...

You all right?

Yeah.

Just thoughts.

Last day sort of thoughts?

Yeah.

It's time. What's a job?

You know...

...for years, you think...

...when I retire, finally I'll...

Thoughts.

A lot of time.

What?

What do you mean?

- What is it?

- What do you mean, what is it?

- You okay?

- Yeah!

Okay.

Do I look okay?

- Yeah. What are you talking about?

- You know...

You haven't noticed me repeating things, or...

...not being able to remember, forget...

- Talking.

- Not yet.

I just don't want to go off the deep end, that's all.

- What do you mean, "go off the deep end"?

- I don't know. Lose it.

Or croak.

Who's gonna take care of Elaine?

The economy, the way it is now?

For years, you work towards this thing

that you think is a certain thing.

After a while, you begin to wonder.

Is it certain,

or is what you've been looking forward to...

Is it like...

...a mirage?

Like the only thing you can know for sure

is what's gone before...

...what you already did.

But that's already behind you.

You gotta start thinking about your future.

I don't know.

Besides, you're not gonna croak.

You're a young guy.

What am I gonna do with my life?

You already done it!

You still got your future to think about.

It's not like it's over.

- Future is an open book?

- Yeah.

It may be an open book.

I kind of think I'm on the last few pages.

That's not true.

- I don't know.

- You know that's not true. Come on.

I mean, it's not like it's one open book.

A better way to think about it is,

every day you open a new book.

That way it doesn't matter how old you are,

because you're always starting at page one.

You don't know when it's gonna end. Nobody...

- Because that's when you die?

- Right.

Who knows when that is, right?

You could die tomorrow,

and 10 minutes before, open the book, go:

"Sh*t, I've got all these pages left."

You're right.

I was winging it, but...

...it sounded good to me, especially the last part.

- My life, you're winging it?

- Just a little.

You get it all from them books, don't you?

- Finding My Father.

- Finding Our Father. No.

- How'd you get so smart all of a sudden?

- What do you mean?

- You're just a kid.

- F*** you, and blow me, just for the record.

Time goes by, it seems like a little time.

You turn around, it was a big time.

Just like the movies.

What?

I was just thinking.

Everything goes by so much faster in the movies.

- Sh*t.

- Watch it!

- Get in the car!

- Please, Mom.

- Oh, my God.

- Mommy!

- Get in the car!

- Ma'am.

- What's wrong with your mom?

- I don't know.

The car smells, and she screamed,

and she's upset...

Ma'am!

- Did you have an accident?

- No.

Mommy. Men are here.

Get in the car!

- What's your name?

- Hope.

Is your mother hurt, Hope?

I don't think so.

Let's get you in the car.

- You gotta keep warm.

- No!

We have to keep you warm.

Oh, my God, please!

Ma'am?

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