Star 80 Page #5

HAVE SOME MUTUAL BUDDIES.

IS, UH, TELLY AT THIS BASH?

TELLY?

SAVALAS.

TELLY SAVALAS.

HE'S AN OLD PAL.

THOUGHT I MIGH SEE HIM HERE.

OH!

HEY, BOBO.

AH, BOBO. BOBO, I WANT YOU

TO MEET DOROTHY STRATTEN.

HI.

HI.

BOBO WELLER.

I STILL GO YOUR CENTERFOLD

ON MY WALL.

OH, WOW.

YOUR FAVORITE BOOK

IS THE HITE REPORT.

YOU LIKE ROD STEWART,

LINDA RONSTADT,

AND BOZ SCAGGS, RIGHT?

OH, WOW.

I'D KNOW

THAT BOD ANYWHERE.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

SNIDER.

DOROTHY?

PAUL.

EXCUSE US A SECOND.

DOROTHY...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

UH, I'M

A PERSONAL MANAGER.

PHIL, SAY HELLO

TO DOROTHY STRATTEN.

HE SAYS SAY HELLO,

YOU SAY HELLO.

HELLO,

DOROTHY STRATTEN.

I'M PHIL WASS.

HELLO.

PHIL PRODUCES:

MOVIES... SOMETIMES.

DOROTHY'S

OUR MISS AUGUST.

WE'RE ALL VERY

EXCITED ABOUT HER.

MAYBE IF YOU PLAY

YOUR CARDS RIGHT,

WE MIGHT JUS LET YOU PRESENT HER

IN HER FILM DEBUT.

SHE'S A VERY

FINE ACTRESS.

MR. HEFNER...

DON'T WORRY. HE DOESN' KNOW A DAMN THING

ABOUT ACTING ANYWAY.

EXCUSE ME. I'LL

LEAVE YOU 2 ALONE.

LISTEN, I AM DOING A FILM

CALLED BALL BEARINGS.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO DROP

OVER THE OFFICE TOMORROW

AND MEET THE DIRECTOR.

WHAT HAVE:

I GOT TO LOSE?

YOU DON'T KNOW

THE DIRECTOR.

EXCUSE ME:

FOR A MINUTE. YEAH, SURE.

IT'S NOT MUCH

OF A PART...

SHE'LL TAKE IT.

HI. PAUL SNIDER

HERE.

MISS STRATTEN,

I SAW YOUR MOVIE DEBU IN BALL BEARINGS.

UH-OH. HA HA...

UH-OH IS RIGHT.

NO, I'M NO THE FILM CRITIC,

BUT THAT WASN' MUCH OF A PART.

WELL, I WASN'T MUCH

OF AN ACTRESS, EITHER.

OH? ARE YOU

BETTER NOW?

OH, GOD, I HOPE SO.

I'M STUDYING.

THE CLASSICS?

NO. ACTING. I DON'T KNOW

ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC.

SORRY.

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

HEFNER DIDN'T LIKE I WHEN I QUOTED HIM.

I SHOULDA KEP MY MOUTH SHUT.

DAMN.

I THINK IT JUS SURPRISED HIM.

DUMB MOVE.

MAYBE YOU WERE:

A LITTLE NERVOUS.

OH...

LOOK AT THESE:

STUPID CLOTHES.

DUMB MOVE:

QUOTING HIM.

YOU KNOW, I WAS

A LITTLE NERVOUS

THE FIRST NIGH I WAS THERE, TOO...

JESUS, WILL YOU

STOP SAYIN' THAT!

I MEAN, WHY THE HELL

SHOULD I BE NERVOUS

AROUND HEFNER:

AND THAT CROWD?

BUNCH OF SMART ASSES...

WITH THEIR STUPID,

FAGGY HAIRSTYLES,

SMUG BASTARDS.

AND THAT VINCE ROBERTS...

BOY, DOES HE WANT TO

GET INTO YOUR PANTS.

HE'S NOT GOING TO.

HE'S ASKED YOU OUT,

HASN'T HE?

YES.

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

I SAID:

I HAD A FELLA,

A STEADY FELLA.

YOU DID?

MAYBE YOU SHOULD.

SHOULD WHAT?

GO OUT WITH HIM.

HE SAID HE WAS:

READING SOME PROJECTS.

HO, I'M REALLY TIRED.

LET'S GO TO BED.

DO YOU THINK:

HEFNER LIKED ME?

PAUL, COME ON...

I DON'T THINK

HE LIKED ME.

IF HE JUS GOT TO KNOW ME...

LOOK, MR. HEFNER,

ARE YOU TRYING:

TO TELL ME:

THAT YOU DON'T WANT ME

TO MARRY PAUL?

YOU HAVE TO:

UNDERSTAND, DOROTHY,

THAT A THIRD PARTY

IS IN KIND OF A FUNNY

POSITION, ET CETERA,

WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO

COUNSEL SOMEBODY

ABOUT MARRIAGE.

YOU NEVER KNOW HOW

IT'S GOING TO END UP.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE

I'M GOING TO BE

A PLAYMATE, IS IT?

NO, NO.

OF COURSE NOT.

WELL, SOME OF THE

OTHER GIRLS TOLD ME

THAT YOU DIDN' LIKE THE PLAYMATES

TO BE MARRIED.

FRANKLY, WE THINK

IT'S BETTER FOR THE IMAGE

IF THEY'RE NOT.

YOU UNDERSTAND:

THAT, DON'T YOU?

BUT SEVERAL HAVE BEEN.

JUST A MOMENT, SAM.

WHO? GIVE ME SOME NAMES.

CINDY WAS.

GINGER, I THINK.

THAT'S RIGHT.

CINDY, GINGER...

LOOK, HE CAN' JUST COME RIGHT OU AND SAY IT.

HE'S TRYING TO

TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I KNOW HE IS,

AND I THINK I KNOW WHA HE'S TRYING TO TELL ME,

BUT I DON'T THINK

HE UNDERSTANDS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

WELL, HE'S...

HE'S GOT THE PERSONALITY

OF A PIMP.

THAT WAS IMPROPER.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.

OHH, MR. HEFNER,

THAT'S JUST THE WAY

HE USED TO DRESS.

HE DOESN'T DRESS

LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

OH, GOD...

I AM SO CONFUSED.

I DON'T THINK

ANYBODY UNDERSTANDS.

I OWE IT TO HIM.

MISS STRATTEN,

MAY I ASK YOU:

A PERSONAL QUESTION?

36-24-36.

NO. I HAVE

THAT INFORMATION

IN THE PRESS RELEASE

RIGHT HERE.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I HAVE IT SEVERAL TIMES.

I JUST WANTED TO KNOW

IF YOU'RE MARRIED.

YES.

I'VE BEEN MARRIED

ABOUT 3 MONTHS.

I WONDER WHY YOU

LOOKED AT MISS DAVIS

WHEN I ASKED YOU THAT.

NO REASON.

NO REASON? IS HE

TRAVELING WITH YOU?

NO, HE'S NOT.

AND WHY IS THAT?

I'D LIKE MISS STRATTEN

TO ANSWER ME...

IF SHE WOULD.

HE'S IN L.A.

WORKING.

WHAT SORT OF WORK

DOES HE DO?

HE'S DOING A SHOW.

I'M SORRY,

I DIDN'T HEAR THAT.

COULD YOU REPEAT THA AGAIN A LITTLE LOUDER?

HAL WANTS TO SOMEDAY BE

THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDEN OF THE UNITED STATES!

GIT ON DOWN NOW!

SHOW 'EM

WHAT YOU CAN DO!

WHOO!

GIVE HIM A HAND!

HAL DAFOE!

WHOA!

[VILLAGE PEOPLE PLAY YMCA]

THIS IS NUMBER 3.

THIS IS MIKEY!

MIKEY... WHOA...

LOVES TO READ POETRY.

AND MIKE HOPES TO SOMEDAY

MEET OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN!

OH, STOP.

STOP IT RIGHT THERE.

LADIES, STOP. I THINK

I SEE SOMETHING.

MICHAEL, YOU SHOULD BE

ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

NO PADDING!

NOW, THAT'S

THE RULES, BOYS!

NO PADDING!

NOW, YOU TURN AROUND,

YOU BAD BOY.

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY.

DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!

HERE WE GO:

WITH NUMBER 5!

THIS IS DICK!

OH, LADIES,

LET ME TELL YA,

DICK SPEAKS:

FLUENT FRENCH!

I FOUND OU LAST NIGHT.

OH, DICKY, SHOW 'EM

WHAT YOU GOT, BABY.

VOULEZ-VOUS COUCHER

AVEC MOI, DICKY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK

OF DICK'S DONG?

HEY, LADIES,

WHAT DO YOU THINK

OF ALL OF OUR BEAUTIFUL,

WELL-HUNG, YOUNG MEN?

OK, GUYS...

5, 6, 7, 8...

WHOOO!

? ...GOT TO KNOW

THIS ONE THING ?

? NO MAN ?

? DOES IT ALL BY HIMSELF ?

? I SAID YOUNG MAN ?

? PUT YOUR PRIDE

ON THE SHELF ?

? AND JUST GO THERE ?

? TO THE YMCA... ?

COMES TO:

874 BUCKS APIECE.

SORRY, PAUL.

THOSE ARE THE FIGURES.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THIS PLACE WAS PACKED.

WELL, THEY WEREN'T EXACTLY

A BUNCH OF BIG SPENDERS.

IT WAS NO SHRINERS

CONVENTION.

ANY PROJECTS:

IN THE OFFING,

ANY NEW FILMS?

WELL, WHEN I GO

BACK TO LOS ANGELES,

I START A MOVIE CALLED

WEDNESDAY'S CHILD.

WHAT'S WEDNESDAY'S CHILD ABOUT?

WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO

SPEND A LOT OF TIME

WATCHING ME GE TIED UP AND BEATEN.

IT'S NOT A CLASSIC.

HA HA.

Man:
SAL, WILL YOU

PUT THE PELLE IN HER MOUTH, PLEASE?

CAREFUL NOW.

DON'T BITE IT.

THERE'S A CALL

FOR YOU, DOROTHY.

NOT NOW,

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

ALL RIGHT, PUT THE GUN

BACK UP TO HER FACE.

HE SAYS HIS LINE,

YOU SHAKE YOU HEAD NO.

HARDER!

AND THEN HE SLAPS YOU ACROSS

THE FACE WITH THE GUN.

WHAT?

YOU BIT THE PELLET.

HA HA...

GOD DAMN IT!

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

HA HA HA...

I'M SORRY.

CLEAN HER UP, PLEASE.

OH, GOD.

SHOULD I TELL HIM

TO CALL BACK?

HE'S CALLED 3 TIMES.

F***ING

BLOOD PELLETS.

JESUS...

LOOK, I'M SORRY

TO BOTHER YOU,

BUT I FOUND IT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

PAUL, LISTEN,

I DON'T THINK THIS IS

A VERY GOOD TIME TO TALK.

I AM SITTING HERE

FREAKING OUT.

IT'S A PAUL SNIDER/

DOROTHY STRATTEN CAR

IF EVER:

I'VE SEEN ONE.

BUT IT'S A LITTLE

MORE THAN I FIGURED.

LOOK,

I WAS WONDERING,

IS THERE ANY WAY

THAT YOU COULD GE TO THE BANK TODAY?

I'D LIKE TO

SIGN THE PAPERS:

BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE

GRABS IT.

WE'RE GONNA NEED

ANOTHER 3,000.

ON YOUR LUNCH HOUR

MAYBE?

WE'VE BEEN SPENDING

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