Stardust Page #6

-Now try.

-Okay.

-See?

-Very good.

Due west, you say?

And you're certain

he had a girl with him?

Yeah.

You're sure? Absolutely sure?

Sure you're not Iying?

I'd cross my heart if I had one.

-Brilliant.

-You'd better be telling the truth,

you two-faced dog.

I can get you one of them, actually.

Very good guard dogs.

They can watch the back

and the front door at the same time.

I can get you anything you want.

What are the chances of getting

a Babylon candle?

That one's slim.

AIthough, I did know a girl once,

if you know what I mean...

I'm a Iadies' man.

...who had a sister...

I think it was a woman.

Oh, she was terrible.

Face Iike a bag of frogs. Ugly frogs.

Enough.

Hold on tight!

The Captain's at the helm!

So there's the road you'II need for Wall.

Good Iuck on your journey home,

Yvaine, wherever that may be.

And good Iuck to you, Tristan,

with your Victoria.

Oh, how can we ever thank you enough

for your kindness?

Don't mention it.

No, seriously, don't mention it.

Reputations, you know.

A Iifetime to build, seconds to destroy.

Oh, and Tristan, just remember...

Just think about it.

Well, give my regards to England.

It's been a pleasure to meet you both.

Mind you don't wear that wench out,

Captain Tristan!

What did he say to you?

What did he say when?

Just then. When he whispered to you.

No... No, he... He was just saying

we should use the Iightning

to get you a Babylon candle.

Barter for it, you know.

For the Iast time, where is the girl?

The girl with the stone!

Where did she go?

-Are you mocking me?

-No...

'Cause if you are, believe me,

you have seconds to Iive!

What a freak.

CIean this thoroughly.

Bollocks.

If you have quite finished

squandering your magic

on your rather

counterproductive beauty routine,

you might Iike to know that

the star has returned.

She's back on Iand.

I know, damn it.

I couldn't reach the Iake in time.

No matter. We have found her.

She is on the road to the village of Wall.

If you take the shortcut

across the marshes,

you should arrive in time

to intercept her.

Yvaine.

-Are you trying to break my Ieg again?

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I just... I can't risk people seeing you.

I don't trust anyone.

But at this rate, if we keep stopping...

Yvaine. We're making good time.

Just Ieave it a minute.

Aren't you tempted?

Tempted? By what?

Immortality.

Let's say it wasn't my heart.

Not me. Just a star you didn't know.

You seriously think I could kill anyone?

I mean, even if I could...

Everlasting Iife?

I imagine it would be kind of Ionely.

Well,

maybe if you had someone

to share it with.

Someone you Iove.

Maybe then it might be different.

Come on, I think we're safe.

Now remember, Captain Shakespeare

has a fearsome reputation.

-What the hell is this?

-What are you doing here?

My name is Prince Septimus.

And you're going to tell me

where I can find the girl.

AII right, twinkletoes.

I'm gonna count to three. One, two...

You know, you sort of glitter sometimes.

I just noticed it. Is it normal?

Let's see if you can work it out

for yourself.

What do stars do?

Attract trouble?

That's... AII right, I'm sorry.

Wait, I'm sorry.

AII right, Iet me... Let me...

Do I get another guess?

Is it... Do they know exactly how

to annoy a boy called Tristan Thorn?

-How Iong will that take?

-Maybe two days.

But we don't have two days.

Victoria's birthday is tomorrow.

Yes, it is. Well remembered.

-Nice cup of Earl Grey.

-Get out, everybody. Get out.

Did he hurt you, Captain?

Did you tell him

where your nephew and the girl went?

So what's the problem?

It's my reputation.

No. No, no. Don't be silly. Nonsense.

It's all right, Captain.

We always knew you were a whoopsie.

-You'II always be our captain, Captain.

-Aye, aye, Captain.

Captain.

Yeah. Let's go, Iet's go.

Prince Septimus,

your men, they're dead.

Oh, really?

Go on!

I met that woman.

She's friends with the Captain.

He said she trades at the market

near Wall.

-We could hitch a Iift.

-Really? She's a friend of the Captain's?

-You sure?

-Yes, yes.

Wait! Sorry!

My name is Tristan Thorn. This...

That's my flower.

Eighteen years

I've been Iooking for that.

Give it to me now!

How dare you?

That was a gift from his mother!

Oh.

Perhaps I was mistaken.

It's all right.

It's obviously very valuable to you,

so you can have it

in exchange for what I need.

-A Babylon candle?

-And safe passage to the wall.

A Babylon candle?

Oh, no, no, no.

I don't deal in black magic.

Really?

Well, can you give us a Iift then?

To the wall?

Well, why didn't you say so

in the first place?

For that flower, I can offer you passage.

-Food and Iodging on the way?

-Safe passage.

I swear that you will arrive at the wall

in the exact same condition

that you're in now.

Do you have any idea what

manner of thing it was that you had?

Some kind of Iucky charm?

A very Iucky charm indeed. Protection.

In fact, the exact same thing that

would've prevented me from doing this.

-Oh, my God! What did you do?

-Much better.

You shall not see the star, touch it,

smell or hear it-

Though I'II keep me word.

You shall not be harmed.

There.

Food and Iodging just as I promised.

Would I be correct in thinking that

you can neither see nor hear me?

Then I'd Iike to tell you

that you smell of pee.

You Iook Iike the wrong end of a dog.

And I swear,

if I don't get my Tristan back as he was,

I'II be your personal poltergeist!

Tristan?

If you can understand me,

Iook at me now.

You know when I said

I knew Iittle about Iove?

Well, that wasn't true.

I know a Iot about Iove.

I've seen it.

I've seen centuries and centuries of it.

And it was the only thing that made

watching your world bearable.

AII those wars. Pain and Iies. Hate.

Made me want to turn away

and never Iook down again.

But to see the way that mankind Ioves.

I mean, you could search

the furthest reaches of the universe

and never find anything more beautiful.

So, yes, I know that

Iove is unconditional.

But I also know it can be unpredictable,

unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable

and, well,

strangely easy to mistake for Ioathing.

And

what I'm trying to say, Tristan, is

I think I Iove you.

My heart, it feels Iike

my chest can barely contain it.

Like it doesn't belong to me anymore.

It belongs to you.

And if you wanted it,

I'd wish for nothing in exchange.

No gifts, no goods,

no demonstrations of devotion.

Nothing but knowing you Iove me, too.

Just your heart

in exchange for mine.

The wall is one mile that way.

There. Though the walk might take

you a Iittle Ionger than normal.

Transformation tends to Ieave the brain

a bit scrambled for a while.

You...

Oh!

I warned you. Save your strength.

I've been so worried about you.

Victoria.

I think I preferred "Mother."

Come on. There's an inn over there.

Victoria's birthday's not till tomorrow.

I think you need a bath

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