Stardust Memories Page #8

Right. But you can't divorce

it from it's social roots.

But it's much deeper than a social problem.

I mean, you know, there's so

many wonderful ambiguities in it.

- It's much more profound.

- Yeah, but the conflict is clear. Right?

He's got to have the bicycle

or he's gonna starve to death.

Yes. Of course. But forget about

a social problem for a minute.

- Yeah.

- I mean, you know, obviously...

What is this place?

Obviously if you don't have

enough to eat or something,

that becomes a major problem.

I mean, the issues become very clear-cut.

But what happens if you're living in

a more, you know, affluent society

and you're lucky enough to

not have to worry about that?

- Lets say you're surviving.

- Yeah. All right.

So then your problems become

how can I fall in love,

or why can't I fall in love, more accurately,

and why do I age and die,

and what meaning can my life possibly have?

You know, the issues

become very complex for you.

You know, for a guy who

makes a lot of funny movies,

you're kind of a depressive, you know.

I'm not a depressive.

- I have a good time. I have laughs. Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Do you?

- Why? Do you not think so?

Oh, I don't know. Like what do

you do, for example, for laughs?

What do I do? The usual, you know.

Read, walk, communicate, all that stuff.

Get undressed and perform the

Heimlich maneuver on a loved one.

You know, I was having a

good time this afternoon.

Why, has this been dreary

for you? Have I been boring?

- No. No.

- Tell me the truth.

No, I've been having a

really good time. Really.

Sandy?

Charlotte. Charlotte Ames.

Your mother.

How you doing? I just knew

that was you back there.

- You don't recognize me, right?

Sure I do.

It's okay. I had some face work done.

You look astounding.

Would you believe it?

Would you believe I played

your mother in a movie?

- I'm amazed.

- Thank you.

What a funny coincidence.

I had my face done. I had my

breasts done. I had my ass done.

I got some procaine and silicone,

some nipping and tucking.

That's more work than they

do on the West Side Highway.

- Well...

- But why? I don't understand you.

You were always a wonderful-looking...

You know. I'm an actress.

You got to keep young.

- Otherwise the public loses interest.

- You always looked great to me.

- Let me tell you.

- Wow. That's sweet.

Listen, tell me, what the

hell are you doing up here?

I was just driving through.

We were at the movies.

I'm still stunned to see you, I must say.

You got to tell me whatever happened

to whats-her-name? That actress. Dorrie.

Dorrie? Dorries okay.

Dorries living in Hawaii, and

she's married, and she's fine.

- I liked her. She was special.

- She was great.

I mean, I really dug her.

I can't play this. I don't

have that kind of flair.

Will you stop it? You're fine.

You just refuse to trust yourself.

I'm no good.

I don't know what you see in me.

Will you relax? You're a bundle

of nerves. You're great.

I should be playing Cynthias

role, she should be playing mine.

She's much funnier and a lot more beautiful.

She's fine, but you're great, too.

The crew laughs at her. They

can't take their eyes off her.

- Oh, stop it. What are you taking?

- My diet pill.

- That's speed.

- I don't wanna be fat.

Fat? How can you be fat?

There's no chance...

I am. I'm overweight. You just

refuse to see my bad points.

You're killing yourself with those diets.

First it's no pills, then it's

all pills, then it was no steak,

and then it was six steaks a

day and 12 glasses of water.

- I'm tired of feeling gross.

- You're not gross.

Obviously you're gonna kill

your appetite if you take speed,

but then you can't sleep nights.

You got to take those

terrible sleeping pills.

And you mix that garbage

with your antidepressants...

- The doctor said it was fine.

- You never asked the doctor.

Stop telling me. Is she

fat? Is she fat? Talk to her.

- Talk to her. I can't believe...

- Listen, Dorrie. Listen to me.

You are such a sweet, young and beautiful...

Anything you do looks right.

Honestly, you're at the age where

you can't do anything wrong.

Hey, come on.

If you had scar tissue,

it would be beautiful.

She refuses to believe anything.

Listen, I'm the one with crowss

feet on her crows feet, huh?

You're wonderful.

The picturess almost over.

Why don't we go away for a

while? We could drop out.

We can have a kid or something.

Would you like to do that?

You know I'd like that.

All right. So, of course, wed

have to fool around a little bit,

but, you know, you could swing

that if you put your mind to it.

Oh, sh*t! Now my skin hurts. That's

a sure sign I'm getting depressed.

So do I really remind

you of an old girlfriend?

That's not bad for a little

violinist from Winnetka, you know.

Yeah, I got to give you

my one classical music joke

which I put in every single

picture, and I invariably cut it out.

I don't know much about classical music.

For years, I thought the Goldberg Variations

were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg

tried on their wedding night.

Yeah. You see why it goes

out of the picture, right?

- Great gag.

- Yeah.

So, how do I remind you of Dorrie?

- How?

- Yeah.

Well, you guys are both, you know,

sort of seductive and attractive.

Stop me if this gets nauseating.

And, you know, beautiful.

And there's a... Not a tragic

sense, I wouldntt say,

but there's kind of, you know,

a lost feeling.

- Really?

- Little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. A sort of... I don't know

you well enough to say that,

but, you know, I would guess

it's just kind of a lost quality.

Yeah?

Yeah.

- Oh, Jesus.

- Whats the matter? What's going on?

Yeah. The goddamn chauffeur

never takes care of the car.

Hang on. Oh, brother! I got to... Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. Really annoying.

- No, I know. No.

- This is absurd.

You know, it's starting to get dark,

there's no people, there's no...

There's, you know...

Yeah, well, I'm sure we're

gonna find something very soon.

- I don't know.

- There's got to be something around here.

Theyre gonna find us wandering

in the woods six months from now,

living on locusts and wild honey.

What the hell is that?

In the Earths trinity there are three

signs, the Taurus, the Virgo, the Capricorn.

The Taureans are determined,

the Virgos analytical,

and the Capricorneans persevering.

We're not discussing

astrology. This is science.

Oh, come on! Science has failed.

How can you say it's failed?

Yes, you're just saying that because

it hasntt solved every problem.

- Yeah, look at penicillin.

- And look at space satellites.

Open-heart surgery, heart transplants.

My husbands alive, six months now,

using a different personss heart.

It's a Japanese heart, but he seems happy.

Can we get back to the subject of UFOs?

I mean, that's what this

partyss for, anyway, isnttt it?

- Is it true that you're a UFO freak?

No, no, no. Our car broke down.

- I really admire your work, sir.

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