Stay Cool Page #2

of your books, but...

Yeah.

You're the prime example

of what a student can do

with his or her life

after he or she graduates from

his or her high school.

Thank you.

You are a winner.

I always knew you'd do well.

You're a winner!

And these students need a winner to tell them

how to be a winner.

Yes, they do.

And I want you to feel free to use

any of the facilities here.

Of course, the library,

the cafeteria, the gym.

Ok.

Whatever you need to connect you in some way

in the commencement.

Ok, so would there be any parameters or guidelines

you'd want me to follow?

Well, profanity's out.

We really don't want

to offend anybody.

I wouldn't use the word

"sh*t" or "penis."

But, yeah, as I said,

we just don't really wanna

offend anyone.

No, we don't.

No. Right.

Now, there's something

else I forgot.

Here are some

sample speeches,

some of my all-time favorites.

Ok.

Yeah.

These ones?

Be good to look at, yes.

I mean, think gettysburg!

Think Martin Luther,

"Can't we all get along?"

Or, you know, Bette midler,

"Wind beneath my wings."

Ok.

Whatever she needed.

And whatever invigorates you.

You just go with it, invigorate,

energize our students.

Make them feel confident.

Make them feel "I want

a higher education."

Of course.

By the way, the senior class committee

will be charge of the schedule and events.

So I want you to meet with them

after you see me,

and you're seeing me.

Ur, they're in room 502.

And I understand you

all have other obligations

and commitments,

but this is a crucial time

for the senior class committee.

Oh, man!

Mrs. Looch.

May I help you?

Uh, Principal Marshall sent me over here.

Please take a seat.

I will... see you after class.

Now, everyone needs to volunteer,

give up a little bit more time.

Your families are well aware of

how important this is for you.

Now, wouldn't you like to head up

one of these committees?

That has to go to the yearbook

publishing company.

And...

Shasta?

Pay attention.

Thank you.

I will need to review your speech

prior to the graduation ceremony.

Reason being?

To assure the faculty and student body that

your speech is sufficient

while meeting the necessary

requirements.

And if it doesn't?

We don't need to venture into

that territory this early.

It seems we already have.

Old Liza, we have seen some times together,

haven't we, sweetheart?

Yes, we have. Hey,

big girl, who's your daddy?

Yeah. Mm, mm, mm.

I don't know why

they call it a bra.

Looks like a g-string to me.

What happened?

Don't even ask.

I just walked through

a thousand memories.

I told you!

Doesn't matter that they tore our school down.

It's all there.

I told you.

You managed to get out of there

the first time.

You may not be so lucky this time.

Mm...

Just trying to re-process

these memories here.

Listen I'll be fine.

I told you!

That place ruins people's lives!

That's its sole function

on planet earth!

I know.

I told you.

You know what?

When big girl talks, big girl means it.

You see the kimono?

The kimono means I'm right.

You have to listen to me.

Listen to the kimono!

Re-process your stupid

memories. Re-process...

What does that mean anyway?

I'd like to process your feelings on

wheat toast, with Mayo.

I told you.

Memories...

Would you like a drink?

No, I'm good.

Ok.

So, how was school?

You know, it's school.

I don't know what I'm gonna write

that's gonna even inspire these kids.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Just flipping through my yearbook.

Oh, the old yearbook.

Who else is in there?

Yeah.

Yeah...

Scarlet. "Thank you

for being you and sweet."

Huh?

"Call me this summer."

Scarlet Smith.

Oh, Scarlet Smith.

You mean, "I'm so in love,

I don't know what to do!"

That Scarlet Smith?

Are you done?

Ooh!

Call her.

Call her.

No.

Do it.

That was 19 summers ago.

Tell her you lost

track of time.

Yeah.

Come on, dig deep.

Ok.

Yes! Henry!

Attaboy!

Oh, yes...

All right. What's her number?

Ooh, she is a cute little wafer.

You know.

There you go.

Ready?

869...

Do you want me

to get that, mom?

If it's Brad, I'm not here.

Is this it?

It's all I could find.

Hello?

Uh, yeah. Um...

Hello?

Oh!

Yeah.

What did you do that for?

Because I shouldn't

be calling her.

Oh, no. no, no, no.

You know what, Just don't call her.

I'll call her for you.

Just what the f*** you know?

Just let me do it for you.

You see, we don't have to call her.

Give it to me.

I'll call her.

Yes! Now that's my man.

There you go.

You just need to

loosen up a little.

That's what it was.

What's her number?

861...

I'll get that.

Listen, freak! It's over!

Sh*t!

Now, deal!

Just...

What?

Too harsh?

Hello?

Is Scarlet there?

Um, who is this?

This is, um, Henry...

Henry McCarthy.

Who's this?

Um, this is her best friend of

30 years, Darcy.

Who is it?

Henry McCarthy?

High school?

Oh yeah.

I was just, um...

I was flipping through

my yearbook, and...

She had written in the yearbook...

"You're a great, sweet guy.

and you better call me this summer."

That was with one of those exclamation

like you're screaming thingies

kind of thing.

Ok, well, she has no idea

who you are.

She doesn't...

She doesn't remember me.

Hold on one second.

Just...

If you turn the pages,

you look and turn the pages,

Twelve, one, thirty...

Ok, well, we'll have to

take a look.

Get your yearbook!

I don't think I even

have it anymore.

There's... it's 132.

There's a pretty good

picture of me there also.

But it's not listed.

Ok, great.

Ok, well, listen, Harry.

She doesn't have it right now.

She can't find it.

What?

Uh, no, it's sounds like it's sitting

on her nightstand

next to her retainer

underneath her unicorn poster.

All right, if you'd just tell her

that Henry McCarthy called.

Ok, I'm gonna get off

the phone now, Harry.

But thank you so much

for your interest.

Bye!

That's all right.

Bye... bye.

OMG!

I don't know.

But he's in love with you.

I'm so weak.

Yeah.

I'm serious.

That sucked.

You did what?!

I called Scarlet Smith.

Well, we did.

You did not!

He did.

I can't eat.

No, I can eat.

Yeah.

Henry.

Please. Let it go.

You stop being such an enabler.

He has nothing to lose.

He has nothing to gain

either.

Look, I was just wondering

what she's up to. That's it.

I'm sure she was wondering

the same thing about you.

She was.

Let it go!

Let. It. Go.

Let it go.

Henry, you made me proud.

Self-destructing.

She rendered me down to the geek

like in 2 seconds flat.

We've got some serious power, dude.

That's the first thing you said

that I absolutely agree with.

Rendered you a geek means that

you're not a geek now.

You are, in fact, still a geek.

Let it go.

Let it go!

You do not need that in your life!

All right?

Smoking crack is easier on your heart.

Have some syrup.

A little more.

She's gonna take...

one good look at that year book photo

and remember why she doesn't remember me.

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