Stay Cool Page #6

'Cause I have nothing to say to you.

This is Linda from On-Star,

Mr. McCarthy. Are you hurt?

I'm fine.

Have you been in an accident?

Are you lost?

Very.

I'm not where

I'm meant to be

it seems like everything

that I love...

Lauren moved to another seat

in chemistry class.

It was as if I no longer existed.

I ceased to be in

her line of sight,

so I somehow evaporated

into the ethers like a worm

dropped into an acid bath.

... tired of feeling

sick and tired

it's time to break free

I would ride my bike

by Lauren's house nightly

dreaming of the day she'd

realize how great I really was,

how cool and interesting I was.

Lauren consumed

my every waking thought.

And as she continued to ignore me

the days turned into endless torture.

I don't wanna die

I'm getting out of here

alive

Fortunately, I had my friends,

Brian and Wayne who are always

there to yank me out of my hole

and make me feel like I belonged to

something bigger than my self-pity.

I never told them how grateful I was

for their friendship.

I wouldn't have survived Lauren

landers if not for them.

And I'll promise you

I promise that

I'll run away with you

They knew the antidote to my depression,

and they always made me laugh.

Once Wayne got a tattoo of

a cow smoking a cigar

just to crack me up.

You look just like heaven

Video game voice: On your mark...

She did what?

Don't make it worse than

it already was.

It wasn't that tragic.

We just... we didn't go out.

It's...

You went out to dinner.

You went out in your car.

Technically, that's going out.

Did you at least get a souvenir?

Panties?

I'm gonna slap you.

What? It would be nice to get

a little some-some

hanging from the rear view mirror,

know what I'm saying?

Ouh!

She just can't get over herself.

Hey, man,

that was a long road.

But you stayed the path.

I'm proud, man.

You're my hero.

Give it up.

Got to run, rock star.

It's history repeating itself.

Everything's exactly the same,

but everything's changed.

It's like the day after we just graduated.

20 years... shooh!

down to the vacuum.

You know what?

You beat this Scarlet fever

once before.

I know you can do it again.

We were 18.

A lot younger.

My genetic makeup doesn't let me

get the girl.

I know exactly how you feel.

Come here.

Ah!

Come here.

Yeah.

All right. I get it.

Do you want a hug.

Yeah, I need a hug.

Ok, good.

Is that old spice?

I think that's your problem.

You need to change.

Hold on. Come to the car.

I'll get you something.

And we will be able to put everything together and have a wonderful celebration.

Now, who has envelopes

with the completed work?

Is everyone finishing up

their projects?

Very good. I...

I'm sorry, Mrs. Loochenberger,

but if I could have just one minute.

It's about the speech.

If it's done, leave it.

If not, take a seat,

and we can discuss this

when class is dismissed.

Ok.

Now, we don't have much time.

I need you all to finish up

your individual projects,

bring them up to the front,

so I can cross them off

and be able to finalize everything.

This is gonna be a special event.

And we have got to finish.

I'll take that.

Oh, I bet you will.

You have 2 options.

Would you like me

to read it?

Or throw it away?

It depends on what it says.

I'd be lying if I didn't say

how disappointed I am

in your conduct.

You seem to be getting yourself into

quite a few altercations.

This is the second time

you've been in my office

on disciplinary issues.

And this particular incident...

is quite damaging.

She passed me a note.

Are you aware of its contents?

No.

Would you like to be?

I think I should since it was

intended for my eyes only.

That's pretty funny.

I'm glad you find it humorous,

Mr. McCarthy.

I do.

When I asked that you get connected

with the senior class,

this was not what I was implying.

So, you're saying I shouldn't

go to the prom with Shasta?

I... I can't control

what happens off campus.

What happens on campus

is my full responsibility.

I and the district

employ a no-tolerance policy.

Therefore, I have no option

but to suspend you.

I'm suspended?

You're suspended.

You're suspending me?

Shh. Shh.

Beat it.

Hang ten.

You lie alone in your bed

another long day ahead

Hey!

Hey. Oh my God,

everything's cool, right?

Yeah, it's cool, cool.

It's fine, fine. No worries.

I just got suspended.

Sh*t.

I know.

OMG!

Oh, I'm so so sorry.

It's ok. Really.

It's ok.

It's totally my fault.

Don't worry.

He's been wanting to do that

for a long time now.

Really?

Yeah, he got his wish.

So what do you think?

About?

About the note?

Oh!

The note.

That's funny.

That's pretty damn funny.

I can't go with you

to the prom.

Why not?

Because it'd go against everything...

Like what?

Like gravity.

Like the way we're walking,

what keeps us on earth.

Ok, ok.

Just think of it

like...

research, you know.

You just say yes now,

then you can always

say no later.

But if you say no now,

then you may never, ever,

ever get a chance to say yes.

That's very clever.

Yeah.

I like that, but no way.

Isn't there just 100 guys

waiting to take you?

You're very cute.

There's got to be 100 of 'em.

Maybe 1,000.

I have standards, ok.

And Mr. Marshall did not suspend you

from the senior ball.

He can.

So you piss him off and go with me.

Please. Please, please,

please, please.

My days of defiance are done.

They just ended in

those doors over there.

You suck butt.

You know that.

You totally, totally suck butt.

Yeah. Well, you know what, ...

I guess that's what happens

when you turn 37.

Auh. Good.

Oh, good God.

What color's your dress?

Really?

Teal!

Teal.

Great.

I should have never agreed

to go to this.

But you did.

So just accept it, embrace it, own it.

This is your golden crow bar

that you are gonna use to pry yourself

from your past.

And don't let Scarlet keep you

from gonna another ball.

I'm just gonna call Shasta

and say, "look, I can't go."

What are you doing?

Let me explain something

to you, ok?

Once you achieve

a certain level of success,

ok, you get celebrity immunity.

You can do no wrong.

Well,

if you do, you just get

slapped on the wrist.

You can sleep with your stepdaughter.

You can have a slumber party

with little boys.

I'm not a celebrity.

Well, let me explain something

to you, ok.

If you can do what you want and

answer to nobody but yourself,

in big girls' world

you are a celebrity.

Look at that.

Voila!

I get arrested,

I'm calling you.

You should be taking me

and him.

Corsage. You wanna try it on me first?

Whoa, Francesca.

Oh my...

Henry McCarthy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

Shasta told us all about you.

Yeah, ok.

Yeah.

Right.

Uh, please.

She...

Yeah,

We're not...

Please come in.

She's not my...

No. Oh!

Please, No!

Come in.

Thank you.

A monkeycould have caught that!

What is it that you do?

Um...

I write. I'm a writer.

Novelist.

What do you write?

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