Stay Cool Page #7

Oh, that's a good question.

Um, it's a how-to book.

Here she is!

Looking smashing!

Hi!

Hi.

Daddy, what's wrong?

You're wearing that?

Mom likes it.

She looks so pretty, honey.

What?

Uh!

Uh.

Come on. Let's go.

Have a good time.

Whatever.

He's still so cute.

No!

Happy place,

happy place.

Hello?

You're swimming

in sorrow right now.

All I ask is for you

to swim to me.

Swim to your rock.

Would you want anything?

No, I'm fine.

You sure?

Yeah.

Talk to me.

Big gulp, slurpee?

Something's going on.

No, I'm fine.

I'm just at a 7-Eleven.

It's ok.

What the hell are you doing

at a 7-Eleven?

I am worried, Henry.

I am really worried.

Does anything good ever

happen at 7-elevens?

You're a victim

before you even walk in.

Don't worry, Javier.

It's gonna be ok.

I beg you to get out of there.

7-elevens are the gateway

to life in prison.

Ok. Bye.

Talk to you later.

I got us some refreshments.

Great.

Yeah!

All right. What did you get us?

Refreshments.

Ok.

Come on!

Ok.

Let's go.

What did you get us?

Ok.

Treats.

Before you try to kiss me...

Oh my God, I'm so excited!

Whoo!

Fun.

Yeah. Come on!

Whoo!

I'm not gonna be

contributing to a minor.

You know what, you're

not contributing because...

I paid for it.

But any contribution is welcome.

Cheers!

Cheers.

Oh, any political aspirations I may

have is gonna end when I down this.

Oh, come on.

You better vote for me.

Whoo!

Good, right?

Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna kill it.

Let's go!

I'm gonna get caught.

I'm not supposed to be

going with a minor.

Whoo!

Shasta, how doesw it feel going out

with a pedophile?

Fine.

Ouh!

B! OMG!

What are you wearing?

You look fabulous!

Hey, Shasta!

Hey, how are you?

You look great.

What are you wearing?

It's Forever 21.

But, shh, don't tell.

Who's he?

You know.

Everybody have fun tonight

I'm so excited.

Come on!

Come on, let's go.

Everybody have fun

tonight

everybody have fun tonight

a million Miles

to be with you tonight

so if you're feeling low

turn up your radio

Wow.

Just relax, ok.

Feeling Okay?

Got it.

Spotted, Henry and Shasta dancing in very

close proximity across the dance floor.

You know, you look so beautiful tonight.

Ew! Rape! Rape!

Hey!

Mary!

Oh, I've got old moves.

Just move your body.

everybody

have fun tonight

across the nation

around the world

everybody everybody

celebration

spread the word

everybody have fun tonight

everybody have fun

Lauren was so beautiful

I could barely look at her.

And school politics didn't allow her

to look at me.

She was too popular.

She'd become a cheerleader

and started dating a football jock.

She went to the prom with the jerk;

I didn't go.

I couldn't stand the thought of

seeing them together,

king and queen of the ball.

I anonymously sent Lauren

a corsage.

On prom night I waited in my car

across the street from her house

to see if she wore it.

She didn't.

It was a ridiculous gesture,

but I wanted to be a part

of her life in some small way.

The next day, I pretended to be sick.

I couldn't face sitting next to Lauren.

Please! Please, please,

please, please,

with a cherry on top.

No, I can't.

Look, I had a really good time in there.

That was fun.

No, we're only gonna stay at the party

for 10 minutes.

10 minutes!

I've stayed 10 minutes

too long already.

Henry,

think of it as doing charity.

Like, you can just write it off

on your taxes.

And what cause would this be for?

Because I want you to,

and because why not?

Come on!

Phone's ringing.

Hold on.

You know what,

just go home.

I think your mommy's

calling you.

10 minutes, right?

You just said 10.

You're gonna wanna stay longer than 10 minutes

when you get inside, 'cause I...

promise you that

you're gonna have fun!

You're on the grass!

Hey! Oh my God!

Hey.

Hey!

Come on!

Hey, I'll go get us some drinks.

I'll go get us a drink, ok?

Ok.

Ok. All right.

Chug! Chug! Chug!

Hi.

Here you go.

Ok.

All right.

You don't have to do that.

I don't see a ring

around your finger.

Yeah, I don't want one

around my ankle either.

Wow, ok.

Yeah.

Ok, how's this? Is this ok?

Ok, that's fine.

You know, if you keep your hands to yourself

I can accept it.

Ok.

All right?

Mm-hmm.

Um...

are you afraid that

I don't know what I'm doing?

Why would you say yes to this, if...

you weren't gonna follow through?

I promise...

You won't have any regrets.

Yeah. I know.

But,

there is nothing about taking this moment further

that's gonna benefit our lives.

What is that supposed to mean?

Ok.

It means that messing around with an 18-year-old

won't even come close to fixing the problems

of the heartbreak I had 20 years ago.

Oh...

She is such a b*tch!

Yeah.

And I have to deal with it.

I get to pay for her.

Cops!

Oh, shi...

Come on, come on!

Oh my God!

What?

Oh my God!

You gotta jump!

What?!

Come on, jump.

Shasta, jump.

I can't do that.

Trust me. Jump.

This is the police department!

Damn.

If you don't jump right now,

you're gonna be doing

the same exercise at rehab.

Come on! Jump!

The party's over!

Oh my God!

Could you think of

anything better to do

with your Saturday night

than this?

Yeah, I could be cuddled up

on the couch watching "Cops."

Love that show.

Yeah.

The one thing I thought I could learn was

never to run from them.

Whoa.

He's right there.

He's right there.

Shh...

Please come out

from behind the bushes.

It's not what it looks like,

officer.

I'm won't be the judge of that.

You two been drinking?

No, not at all.

Vodka?

When Brian, my best buddy,

came out of the closet that year,

he became the token gay

of West Rockwille High.

After that, I was uncomfortable

hanging out with him.

It was tough enough for me

to be accepted

without being associated

with another freak.

In a vain attempt to fit in with the cool crowd,

I snuck out with a group of guys

during a pep rally

and egged Brian's car.

We spelled p-u-s-s-y

in soap

and covered his entire car

with panty-liners

implying that he should

have been a woman.

I'm gonna kill him.

I will kill that boy.

I will kill him dead.

Brian. He could have at least

picked a name like Trevor.

No priors.

Yeah.

That just leaves us with a 37-year-old

at a high school party.

Sir...

McCarthy!

Hey, bird.

I got this.

Nothing happened,

I swear to you.

Nothing happened.

Uh-huh.

You're the man.

Yeah.

Go make it happen.

Thanks.

He's good.

Oh my God,

I'm so embarrassed.

Well, it's better you do

this stuff now

and get it out of the way.

Henry.

Wow.

Henry!

Yeah.

Oh my God...

Yeah.

Um, "you suck."

"You suck."

Yeah, I suck.

Yeah.

Oh no.

Hi, daddy.

Come on, come on.

Young lady,

get in the house.

My sincerest apologies,

Mr. O'Neal.

She's in one piece,

at least.

There's nothing I can do to you

that your dad isn't gonna do

when he sees that car.

Oh, God.

Dad, I'm so sorry.

Sorry?!

Yeah.

Where in the lord's name

did you take her?!

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