Steamboat Round the Bend Page #3

go on! Get out of here!

-Hit him in the chin, Pop!

-Ill bust him one!

Go ahead, Ben. Don't take

none of his sass.

Ain't no river man gonna tell

me what to do.

She's my young 'un, and

I got the right.

There ain't nobody gonna tell her

what to do but Duke.

-Im her pa.

-Yes, and Duke is her husband.

Her and Duke... Her and Duke

was married.

There can't be no thin' wrong

about that, can there?

He's lyin', Pap!

I ain't a-gonna marry her now

no how. I don't want...

no river man's trash!

You bet your life you're

not a-gonna.

Say, just a minute here.

Say, Ive stood just about

all the insults...

Im gonna stand out of you people.

You can't come in here talkin' to

that girl like that.

That's Duke's wife.

-Now get out of here, you swamp

trash! -Now, wait a minute.

-Put that down.

-Come on, you swamp rats! Get out of

here!

-Look, Pappy! There's my shoes.

-Hey, drop them shoes!

Ow!

Fine lot of kinfolks you got.

Id mighty like to thank you for

what you've done.

Well, you oughta thank me.

Hadn't been for me, they'd have

got your shoes.

-But-But, I mean, you fixed it...

-Well, yes.

lf you hadn't give me the knife,

they might have...

got 'em anyhow.

Com in' in here bother in' us just

when we're gonna enjoy...

our supper here together.

Hmph. That's a fine lot of

kinfolks havin'...

like that. Swamp people.

Look at that bacon. Look at that.

Its all burned.

Look. Look at that.

Let me fix it.

Huh? What do you know about

coo kin' bacon?

I bet you never did cook no thin'

but catfish.

Hey, what is that-Here.

What is that? Is that-Is that an

old tablecloth...

of somebody's? Huh?

What is it?

You can't wear a thing like that

to the court-

You can't wear... You can't wear

that to the courtroom.

You've got to...

No wonder Duke couldn't tell whether

you was a boy or a girl.

Look at that.

Sure used to make them

Yanks run in that.

Look at that. Huh?

That belonged to... That belonged

to Duke's mother.

She was the prettiest woman

I ever saw in my life...

even if she was my sister.

She was a skinny little thing,

just like you.

There you go. There you go.

Lettin' the bacon burn up that way.

That's all you women think about...

just clothes.

Dr. John, do you think any body'll

take me for a swamp girl?

Swamp girl? What, in those clothes?

No more swamp girl. Say, there's

gals up in the big city...

like-like Vicksburg that ain't got

duds like those.

You know where those clothes come

from? Way up to Memphis.

Do you think... Do you think

Duke'll like it?

Like it? Say, he ain't even gonna

recognize you at first.

Duke's gonna have two

sweethearts now.

-Two?

-Yeah. Gonna have two.

You and the Claremore Queen.

Say, we gotta hurry up here. Let's

get to prancin' here. Come on.

'Twas me done this to Duke.

Its all my fault. I ought to let

him run away like you said.

You was right about that

hangin judge.

Guess I thought 'cause

I was older...

that l-I knew more about right and

wrong than you all did.

Duke ain't blamin' you, Dr. John.

I know he ain't. But you are.

I ain't blamin' nobody.

You ain't no more surprised

about it than I be, Doc.

Aw. You up there supposed to

be savin' a man's life.

Then you're talkin' to the judge

about real estate.

What'd you wanna start an argument

with him for?

Well, 'tweren't my fault. You seen

the way he led around to it.

He's held a grudge against me

ever since I sold...

him that bottom land.

'Tweren't my fault the river

run over it.

Oh, well, if you'd let me have my

way and let me go find the...

New Moses who's the only man

that saw the thing-

Had him here as a witness, Duke

could've been free...

and out of here.

Aw, shucks. He ain't been

hung yet.

Just wait and see the way I handle

this appeal. I tell you...

You just wait a minute now. You

ain't gonna handle any appeal.

You know what I want you to do?

I want you to go down to...

Baton Rouge and I want you to

get a... get a good lawyer.

Get the best lawyer you can get.

Get a-Get a smart lawyer.

Cost a heap of money.

Them big fellows wouldn't even

worry about Duke...

for less than $500.

Five hundred dollars?

Well, if his life ain't worth $500,

it ain't worth nothin'.

You go get the lawyer, will ya?

You get the lawyer.

Ill get the $500 somehow

or another.

Come on, honey.

Howdy, Doc!

Oh, hello, Rufe.

Mighty sorry to hear about the way

Duke's case turned out.

Well, ain't hung him yet.

That's the truth as I see it.

They ain't goin' to either.

What-What's that you got there?

Why, ain't you heard? Why,

Professor Marvel done...

skipped town owin' everybody.

Left his whole show and the

calliope and everything.

Come on in and see the show, honey.

It'll cheer you right up.

They got a dead fish in here.

They call it a whale.

Why, the whole tent's just chuck

full of things...

that'll give you the shivers.

Come on in. Yes, sir.

All the greatest folks in history,

from John the Baptist...

plumb down to the king of England.

There's Little Eva sittin' there.

Old Uncle Tom's layin' around

here somewheres.

You know the story of Little

Eva, honey?

-No.

-Well, just as well.

Oh, here. Lookee. Its Daniel Boone.

-That Daniel Boone?

-That's Daniel Boone.

You-You know the story

of Daniel Boone?

-No.

-Ill tell you that sometime.

That's a-That's a great story.

Oh, here. Look here. Ill bet

that's the old bloodhound,...

ain't it, Sheriff?

Huh?

Got ya there, Doc.

Lookee here. You see that

statue there?

-Uh-huh.

-That's Ulysses S. Grant.

-Yeah? Who's that?

-Oh.

-The woman leadin' the horse?

-Yeah.

Why, that's Victory,.

Ain't it just like some durned

Yankee to let the lady walk?

They do it every time. But

lookee here, Doc.

Ill bet you this here's somethin'

that you ain't...

never seen before.

There's been a heap of argument

around town...

about this here whale.

And Professor Marvel, now,

he claimed that...

it's the very identical whale that

swallowed Jonah.

Well, it looks old enough to be.

Yes, and look here at the size of

this here mouth.

Ain't nobody in here.

Thunderation!

Ain't nobody in here, white folks.

-Holy Moses!

-Moses nothin'.

-Say, that's Jonah.

-No, it's just me.

I worked for the doctor, and I just...

Well, come on out of there now.

Ain't nobody gonna harm you.

-What you doin' in there?

-Nothin'. I was just-

Thought you thought I was Mr...

Professor, and l-

Say. Say, wait a minute here, Rufe.

You know, I got an idea. See what

you think of this, Fleety.

What do you say... You want to get

your money out of this, don't ya?

Sure do.

What do you say you let me take

this on the Claremore Queen...

and Ill soon have your money back.

And we can get Duke that appeal

lawyer too.

Well, I don't see how nobody can

kick about that.

-Do you go with this?

-Yes, sir, I works here.

I play the banjo and the mouth

organ and the calliope and...

-Calliope?

-Yes, sir, and the...

-What's your name?

-Well, I was baptized...

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