Steamboat Round the Bend Page #5

Yeah, I know. But this is a museum.

Its educational!

-How come she's educational?

-Well, because...

because it is, that's why!

Now, un cock your guns, boys,

because you may...

let 'em go off accidentally.

Just hold it until I tell you to.

Its educational. Did you ever see

a petrified man? Huh?

No, you never did. Well, we got

one in there. Ain't we, honey?

We got one in there, and he's

Im gonna let you all come in there

and see with your own eyes...

and it ain't gonna cost you one nickel.

And if everything that Ive told

you about out here ain't in...

there just like I told ya...

then you can come out

and chop it down.

Now, friends, there ain't nobody

that rightfully...

knows just how old she is.

There is people that say a whale

grows an inch...

every hundred years.

So, well, you can figure it out

for yourself.

That's not a fish. This ain't a

fish. That's a mammal.

-Its a...

-A mammal.

Well, I mean it raises its young

just like a cow does.

Yes!

And it breathes just the same

as you and l.

And when it gets waterlogged, it

blows it out through...

these breathing places in its head.

Ill show you. Efe, let her

breathe a little.

Pappy, it breathed all over me!

There you are. Now, is she

educational, or ain't she?

There's a powerful lot of learning

in a whale.

Neighbor, this thing is worth

payin' for.

Im glad to hear you say that.

-Rex, pass the hat.

-Come on, Rex.

Rex, better get your pappy's hat.

Yours leaks.

Over this way, gentlemen, you have

George Washington,...

the father of his country!

You can't leave without

seein' Pappy!

I told you on the outside that l

had George Washington...

here. I wasn't lyin' to ya.

Friends, that certainly is

a fine man!

All my life Ive thought that

about him and what...

he's done for our country.

-Will you be here tomorrow?

-No, Im sorry.

I won't be here tomorrow.

I sure would like to have my old

woman see him, if she...

could get away from her plowin'.

She got a picture of him, and

ain't more than a week...

goes by she don't look at it.

Well, Im awful sorry, but we got

to be in Beaver...

Slough tomorrow.

-They're waitin' for us.

-Don't suppose you could spare...

me a piece of his hair, could ya?

Well, no, I don't...

Me and her'd be mighty proud to

have a piece of...

George Washington's hair.

Well, Im gonna give you a little

piece here.

Of course, I don't want you to have

to make your wife quit plowin'.

There it is. You be very careful of

that. Take good care of that.

Right over this way, gentlemen!

Right over here!

Call your attention to the stage!

All right, Fleety...

Belle, Efe, Jonah.

Gentlemen, General Robert E. Lee.

Look away, look away Look away,

Dixieland

Attention!

I wish I was in Dixie, I say, I say

Away, away A-way down South

in Dixie.

Away, away A-way down South

in Dixie.

I wish I was in the land of cotton.

Old times there is not forgotten.

Look away, look away Look

away, Dixieland.

-Come on.

-Howdy there, Doc, Fleety Belle!

Hello! Hello!

-Hello!

-Hello, Sheriff.

The way this gal drag you up that

hill, you'd think...

she wanted to see somebody.

How's Duke?

Oh, fine as a frog hair. Never

knowed a man...

could keep so happy.

Wait'll you hear him play

on that saw.

Man, he really whips 'er. And he

eats more'n a horse.

You wanna feed him good,

'cause there ain't...

nothin' too good for Duke.

That's the truth as I see it. Sure

hate to see him get hung.

What are you talking about?

Why are you joking...

about a thing like that?

Ain't you heard? The court done

turned down his appeal.

-Who said so?

-Doc, Im sorry.

I thought you knowed.

I got my orders in my pocket.

I gotta take him to...

Baton Rouge tomorrow night.

Duke!

Duke!

Fleety Belle.

-Duke, it ain't so, is it?

-I guess it is.

They can't take you, Duke.

They can't!

Aw, don't cry, honey.

I guess things just gotta

be that way.

Id just about die if I never was

married to you.

Oh, dear, you're such a skinny

little thing.

You know, my Bonnie Lou got

married in this dress.

She was a little stouter than

you are, though.

Its awful pretty.

Dear, I wished I had some

orange blossoms.

Don't seem like no weddin' without

no orange blossoms.

Addie May, dear, run along and fix

the flowers. That's a good girl.

Yes, sir, Duke, Im gonna give you

a real good 'un.

This makes 13 folks that Ive

married what...

was gonna get hung.

I guess that's a record.

Sheriff down in Big Bend, he

claimed he done 14.

But never was nobody could find

where it was...

put down in a book.

Now, these 'uns I done.

Every one of' em is wrote right

here in my family Bible,...

where anybody can see 'em.

-Uh, everything's ready, Pop.

-That's fine, Addie May.

Got your flowers all put around?

That's good.

Doc, got the piano set.

Guess we're about ready to go.

Now, Addie May, can you play

the 'Wedding March'?

Can't play nothing but 'Listen to

the Mockingbird.'

I reckon that'll have to do.

We gotta have some...

music to get the bride in here.

Run on over to the piano, dear.

We'll be ready...

in just a minute.

-Ma! Oh, Ma! 'Bout ready?

-Yeah! We're a-waitin'.

Won't be but a minute.

Pappy, you gotta give her away,

'cause you done it for...

me when you was in here last time.

Bub, let the boys in.

Now, you boys quiet down and

get settled now.

Don't wanna have no disturbance.

Gonna start the...

ceremony in just a minute.

Doc, the old jail looks kinda

cheerful, don't it?

Yeah.

Go ahead, dear. Go ahead.

All right, begin, Addie May.

Friends...

we are gathered here in the

eyes of God...

and one another...

for the purpose of joining together...

this here man and this here woman

in holy matrimony.

Can't nobody rightly say

nothin' agin marriage...

'cause I reckon God intended...

every, body to live that-a-way.

Cause every, living human

on this earth...

has got to find his mate...

sometime or other.

And when God put Noah

in the ark...

he told him to take two of

everything.

'Cause God knowed that

was right...

and I guess he knowed what

it was to be lonesome.

Now, if Duke and Fleety

Belle here...

had a notion...

they're only carrying out the

Word of God.

And right here

I wanna say a word about Duke.

There ain't never been a finer man...

in this here jail.

That's the truth as I see it.

Course, we're all mighty sorry,

that Duke's gotta...

go and get himself hung.

Don't seem just-just right.

But that ain't got nothin' to do

with this ceremony,...

I guess. Has it, Doc?

All right, Duke...

do you take this here woman to be

your lawful wedded wife...

until death do ye part?

I do.

And you, Fleety Belle, do you

take this here man...

for your lawful wedded husband...

until death do ye part?

I do.

You got a ring, Duke?

I got it.

Just put it on her finger there.

That looks like it might have been

your mother's, son.

-It was.

-All right.

I now pronounce you man and wife...

until death do ye part.

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