Sticky Notes Page #2

Ah, Jimminy Crickets!

I forgot to ask the Punjabi

doctor where we could eat.

-Oh Jimminy crickets!

Let's go.

- Not those!

-Athena we don't have all day.

-I told you.

We're only eating only

organic from here on out.

Okay?

-I forgot how much you

like to spend my dough.

Oh, a banana.

It tastes like a banana.

Come on.

-Let's go, Athena.

-What are we

having, Honey Bunny?

-Salad.

And my name is Athena

for the third time.

And my name is Honey

Bunny for the third time!

-And what are we having

for the main course.

-This is the main course.

-I guess

what I mean then is what are

we having for our entre?

-What- this is an entre salad.

There's chicken, grilled

zucchini, onions, peppers-

- Yeah?

- Look, we got

everything in here.

We got radishes-

- What are we having

for dessert?

You know what?

I got to take this call.

-You want some real food?

Yeah?

- Daddy?

- Yeah?

Do you know where

my orange marker is?

-How would I know that?

Why would I have any idea

where your orange marker is?

-I don't know.

-Well then why are you

asking me?

-I don't know.

Alright...

Alright, I'll be right back.

-I'm hungry now.

-Well if you don't

want salad- Here.

Eat that.

I'll be right back.

-Hi, I just had a missed

call from this number.

- Hey.

- Who is this?

-It's Bryan.

-Who?

-It's Bryan.

-I'm sorry.

I meet a lot of people.

Bryan - it doesn't

ring any bells.

-From the other night.

The one who heard the

message from your dad.

-Did I give you my number?

-Is this a bad time?

-Listen, I can't

f*** you, alright.

I'm out of town for a while.

-No, I wasn't calling

for-- I just--

I just wanted

to check up on you.

-Oh, I get it.

You get off on rescuing damsels

in distress, is that it?

-What? No!

I do not get off on

whatever you just said.

I just was thinking about you

and wanted to give you a call.

Jesus Christ, I wasn't

prepared for an interrogation.

- Wait, I gotta go!

What - you're smoking now?

You're like four.

-I'm six and a half!

-Yes.

Yes, you're six and a half.

Yes you are, girl.

Come here.

You do not want to start smoking

now, believe me, that is not-

-Honey Bunny, stop.

Seriously.

- You're mean.

- No I'm not.

-To Daddy you are.

-Well Daddy doesn't always

behave the way a daddy should.

-Yes he does.

-If you can't see that, you

totally drank the Kool-Aid.

-Kool-Aid's for coloreds.

-Great.

Now he's turning you

into a racist too.

-A what?

-Listen, there's Daddy's world

and then there's the real world.

-Is the real world L.A.?

-Turn back around.

-What are you doing?

-Drinking Baily's

over three ice cubes.

- Why?

- Because that's what

it recommended on the

back of the bottle.

Why are you still awake?

-I want to listen with you.

-No.

No, kid.

Back to bed.

Go.

- But I don't want to-

- Come on.

Go on, back to bed.

-But I don't want to...

-Say goodnight moon.

-But I don't wanna go to bed!

-I'm going to count to three.

One...

Two...

-Goodnight kittens,

goodnight mittens.

-Say goodnight to the boys.

-Goodnight Miles.

Goodnight B.B.

Goodnight Coltrane.

-Good girl.

Good night, princess.

-Well you can expect all sorts

of things:
lack of appetite,

lethargy, hair loss, loss of

bowel movement, dry mouth,

difficulty swallowing.

It's important that

he takes a rest when he

needs to feel rested.

Here's the pamphlet form

the lung cancer alliance.

-Thank you.

-Did you have any

other questions?

-Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

How long does the first

cycle of Chemo last?

-It's six weeks.

He'll come in for five-hour

treatments Mondays,

Wednesdays and Fridays.

Then we check if the cancer has

spread to assess whether or not

he needs another

six week course.

-I'd like to make an

announcement to everybody.

I have officially quit smoking.

-Oh, well I think we would all

agree that's a positive step.

Have you noticed anything

different since you quit?

-I have.

Boners.

First thing in the morning

as soon as I get up.

Hard as a rock boner.

Hasn't happened to me in years.

What's that about?

-Well the blood

flow starts to build back up--

-Wait, wait, wait, wait...

I have another question.

Does cancer- would that allow

me to get handicap parking?

-Um...

-I don't want to hear it.

-I didn't say anything.

-I know what you're thinking.

-She's here.

-Who is that?

I didn't make that much food.

-Hey!

Athena, this is Seashell.

Seashell, this is

my daughter, Athena.

-Hello Athena.

- Seashell?

- Actually

it's pronounced Say-chel -

but Jacky here can call me

whatever he likes.

- Jacky?

- Yeah, Jacky.

-I see you're still paying

women to have sex with you.

-I don't pay them

for the sex with me.

I pay them to leave!

Athena, I could die any day now.

You want to deprive me of my

final Seashell experience?

-You are a piece of

work, you know that?

-Don't be such a square.

Marriage is just a socially

acceptable form of prostitution.

-Prostitution is illegal!

-When you marry a woman, you

take a vow to pay for her.

And she takes a vow to f*** you.

The problems come when

she doesn't hold up

her end of the bargain.

Here, I can't open this.

Here.

- What is this?

Oh dude, are you for real?!

-Don't dude- I'm not your dude.

-Viagra?!

-Call me a version of

Daddy-O or Papa Bear.

Capiche'?

-You can't even open the

lid, do you honestly think

this is a good idea?

-Because I've got something

wrong with my hand here.

But it has nothing to

do with the cancer.

Alright look, I haven't

lost a hair on my head.

-It's been a week, okay?

And not everyone loses

their hair from Chemo.

-There's one left - you

know how I hate to waste.

One pill is not

going to kill me.

Athena...

Think of all the flaccid

children in Africa.

Come on, help an old guy out.

Please?

Come on...

come on...

- I hate you.

- No, you don't.

- I do.

- No, you don't.

Was that hard?

-It will be now.

-Come here, Seashell.

Just sit here.

-Okay.

Thank you.

-What are you doing?

-I'm praying, sweet child.

-My father doesn't pray.

He's an atheist.

-Well that's all fine but in

the midst of all the

craziness in the world,

we gots to remember to be

grateful for our blessings.

-Grateful for what?

-Well for one thing, I think

it's something that you're back

here with your daddy, Athena.

-Thank you, Seashell.

- And what are you

thankful for--

- I'm thankful for the

pharmaceutical companies.

-Thankful that they can make a

pill that can help an elderly

man with cancer get an erection.

- Alright, that's enough.

- I'm thankful for Daddy

teaching me how to drive.

For James Bond.

And for my press-on nails.

Oh, and hugs.

-Oh, and you know what?

If you'll excuse me, father,

it seems that I've suddenly

lost my appetite.

-Now I know what

alligators eat their young.

-You b*tch!

Oh my goodness you just keep

getting tinier don't you.

-I've been on the Paleo

for the last year.

-F*** that L.A. sh*t, alright.

I'm on a Snickers diet.

-Oh look at you, you're

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