Sticky Notes Page #3

glowing, really.

Thanks 'Theens.

-Come on, sit.

Sit, sit, sit.

-So, how's the dancing?

-It's... I dunno, it's- I

don't want to jinx it.

-Do you want a beer?

Maybe some wine?

They have some pretty

good wine here.

So why are you home?

-I'm just visiting.

What are you guys doing here...

together?

-Nat didn't tell you?

I'm the automatic

'plus one' these days.

Nat. Do you have to go

to the bathroom?

I have to go to the bathroom.

-Okay, well we would bring

you along if we could, baby.

-You know what, it is the

only place you don't

get an automatic 'plus one.'

-Oh please with that, alright.

Not everything is about you.

-What happened to that guy you

were dating before, that um--

F***, what was his name...

the Mike guy?

What happened to him?

-First of all it's Mitch.

And if you really must know...

he was a Jew.

- So?

- You know I love the Jews.

I do love the Jews,

don't get me wrong.

I love the Jews.

But Mitch was very Jewish.

I mean he told me that the only

way we'd get married is if I

converted, and something

about that just-- ugh,

just did not sit right with me.

So wait, you come home and the

only non-Jew you could find

happened to be my high

school sweetheart?

Your sweetheart?!

Okay, you're delusional, right?

You know that, right?

He liked you for like a minute

when we were seventeen and honey

let's be real- you

broke up with him.

You left.

Shoot, you haven't emailed or

called me in God knows how long

and all I know is that it was

long enough for this sh*t

to go down and you not

have a f***ing clue.

So what are you

doing home, Athena?

-Can you pass me the

toilet paper, please?

-Not until you tell me

what you're doing home.

Wait, he makes you happy?

Wes, you're happy with him?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm sorry.

I really am.

If I thought you gave a

sh*t I would have made it

a point to tell you.

-You were at least going to

invite me to your wedding

though, right?

-Are you even going to

come back for the wedding?

-I will come back

for the wedding.

Please pass me

some toilet paper.

F***, are you okay?

-Wes doesn't know, alright?

And I cannot tell him before the

first trimester because then he

gets like- Oh and his mom...

-Stop - are we talking about

the same guy who makes you

quote unquote happy?

I don't hear anything.

Oh my God...

-So if anybody asks just tell

them that your mother's dead.

That's why you

don't have a mother.

But you have the best dad

in the world so it's okay.

-So Mommy's in heaven?

-Heaven's a bunch

of bullshit, kid.

Trust me.

Some very, very smart people

invented heaven to sell cream

cheese and toilet paper.

-What happens when you die?

-I don't.

See?

Look.

I'm right here.

I'm not going anywhere.

You're stuck with me, baby.

-Daddy, have you found

my orange marker yet?

-Come here.

Let me impart some

wisdom on you, daughter.

Okay?

Sometimes in life,

people lose things.

You, for example, you

lost your orange marker.

Now I'm sure this cute peanut

sized brain of yours doesn't

believe that you truly lost

the orange marker,

only that you can't find it.

Which is why you keep asking

Daddy if he's found it.

But there's a very strong

probability that you're never

going to see that

orange marker again.

It's gone.

Do you understand?

-Athena?

Athena?

Athena?

I went to Costco.

Then I went to a deli.

Got you a pastrami sandwich,

which is right here.

I went to Bed Bath and

Beyond and then I went to a

great thrift store.

And - look at this...

Look at that.

It's a pillow on one

side, desk on the other.

- Wow...

- Isn't that unbelievable?

That's unbelievable.

-Wait until you see this...

The best part - here.

Here, the piece de residence,

or whatever that is.

Here we go.

A hot plate.

Isn't that great?

Now you can cook for us.

No more salads.

Well salads - but

just not as many.

-But what's wrong

with the stove?

-The repair guy said it was

broken, said I needed a new one.

Those guys are always

trying to gouge you!

So, I got this instead.

Look at that.

Look at that, good as new.

-Good as new.

-Hey you, no more vitamins.

-But they're healthy!

-Oh-- oh, what is it Dad?

What did you get?

Well I'm glad you asked.

I got some weights.

Because now I can fulfill

my lifelong ambition of

being a weightlifter too...

-Yeah, I got the pastrami

sandwich for you.

-What kind of animal am I?

-I don't know.

A fish?

-What kind of fish?

-Max!

Hi!

-What kind of fish am I?

-No, no, no.

I'm sorry, it's just me here.

Um...

I am all ears.

What?

So I got through

to the next round!?

Okay.

The second round

is the final round.

That is, um-- that is good news!

That soon?

No.

No, no, no that is um-

that is not a problem.

-Yes it is.

-Uh-huh.

Okay, see you in two weeks.

-See who in two weeks?

What about Daddy?

-Sh*t...

-I don't know what to

do, I mean--

This tour - it's everything I've

been working and waiting for.

Yeah but it's your dad.

I wonder why my dad even had me.

It's not like he was

ready to be a father.

-That's it right there.

Can you see it?

-It's the size of a grape!

Do you notice how our

culture never celebrates

death or divorce?

-Okay, excuse me.

This is not about you.

This is about me and my

baby and we'd like a little

attention from auntie Athena.

Look, I have a grape!

-Look at that...

- You can't see it, can you?

- No.

No.

Come on, this is like one

of those magic eye thingy's.

You know I could never do those.

-If you didn't want to

give up your life,

why did you come back?

Because he asked me to.

-Because he's your dad.

-Come on.

Hey.

Hey.

Come on, it's time to go.

-What time is it?

-Time to go, Daddy.

-You're- you're supposed

to be here at one o'clock!

- I'm sorry.

Well I'm here now.

- Don't worry...

- Just answer the question.

- Calm down.

- Are you okay?

- I'm fine!

Where the hell were you?

I asked you a question!

Where were you?

-What do you want me say?

-Why were you late?

-The parking lot was filled

with a bunch of mooks!

There, is that a good

enough answer for you?

You're never on

time for anything.

The only thing you haven't been

late for is your f***ing period!

-Jesus!

Why do always make me feel like

sh*t for the stupidest things?

I was ten minutes late.

Big f***ing deal!

I dropped my goddamn life

to come take care of you.

-Why do I make you

feel like sh*t?

The only person who can

make you feel anything

is your-f***ing-self!

Give me the keys, I'm driving!

- Are you sure

that's a good idea?

- Give me the- You don't

tell me what to do.

I tell you what to do.

I'm the boss.

You're the employee.

As a matter of fact from

now on you call me 'boss'!

Now give me the keys!

You're a stupid little girl

who doesn't know a thing.

You don't know how to drive.

You don't know

how to be on time.

You don't know how

to find parking.

And you sure as f*** don't

know how to dance or else

you'd have a job by now!

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