Stitches Page #2

wearing those boots in school?

Not to.

- Not to.

Footwear is supposed to be black or brown.

How's it a uniform if there's a choice?

This isn't a conversation. I'm not asking

you. What are you now? Emo?

You'll dye you hair pink next,

and a nose ring.

And then there'll be the drugs.

And five years down the line...

you're in a bedsit by yourself

eating your own hair.

Oh, it's funny. Laugh it up.

That tickled you, did it?

I'll be in to check on you.

You're not laughing now.

And here.

If I catch you with those boots again,

it'll be a letter home.

Hey!

He's such an a**hole.

Hi, Kate.

- Oh, hi.

How you doing?

- I just got detention.

Remember that time in Mrs Burke's class

when she gave us detention for laughing?

I've got something for you.

Having a party?

- Yeah.

I don't know about this Saturday yet.

I might be going out.

Oh right, with friends.

Yeah, just some of the girls.

- Well, you can invite them, too.

There's plenty of room.

- Yeah?

Sure.

- OK. I'll say it to them and see.

Dress code for Saturday is smart casual,

so I don't want to see those shoes,

or I'll be sending a

letter home to your mammy.

Yes, sir.

- Chop chop, yeah?

You little f***er, you.

It was completely off-key.

Why are you still here?

Jesus, didn't mean to scare you, Tom.

Looking very sharp.

Any plans for the weekend?

None yet.

- Are you gonna play that card?

Well, we saw the event page.

You invited everyone to come on My Face.

No, I didn't do that.

Are you lying to me?

- No.

I can see it in your beady f***ing

posh eyes. You're lying, Tom.

Me and the ATB will come to your house.

Do you know who the ATB are?

All the boys. All the f***ing boys.

Come on, Sarah. Give 'Thomas the

Tank Engine' his birthday present.

Birthday bashings.

- You're OK, Tommy. See you Saturday.

I bet you wouldn't even know

how to kiss a girl.

If you saw a girl's gash,

you'd put a plaster on it.

All right, man?

- What have been saying about my party?

Spreading the word.

You have 32 friends already.

I don't even know 32 people.

- You will. Trust me. It's gonna be good.

Yeah?

Not the same shitty bike again.

Bring on the chuck.

Hey! Hurry up, Bulger, you fat f***.

Party. Woo-hoo!

- Someone's got a bit of drink.

This place brings back memories.

Nice.

- Yeah.

There's Bulger.

- There he is.

Hurry guys. Let's go. We've work to do.

- Nice.

Three hours to go. Let's get to work.

- Relax. We just got in the door.

Richie, where's the peanuts?

You forgot them, didn't you?

Richie, shut up.

Get you head in the game.

Tom, this is easy.

Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

Richie, that needs to go higher.

You have it arse ways.

F*** off.

- No, you f*** off, Richie.

Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

What are you doing?

Blow these up. Can someone cover up

those bins? They look terrible.

Did you get the crepe paper?

- I bought skins.

You bought skins?

- That what you meant?

No, I meant crepe paper.

But don't worry. It's only been

his first party in like six years.

Good work.

- Now all we need is some bodies.

Bring on the fanny fest.

Oh, sorry. Sorry, ladies.

You having a good night?

Uh, yes. Thanks.

- I'm Richie. What's your name?

Wanker.

It's OK. Aside from the random nobodies

and all the ugly people.

Well, no, I look fierce,

but the rest of them, please.

Oh my God. Just a random uglier

in the shortest dress ever.

You can practically see her thing.

Lots of people here.

- It's deadly.

Is it?

- Yeah.

Have you seen Kate?

- No. Oh my God, there she is.

What's going on?

- She's too good for you.

No, no. When she's had a few drinks,

I'm telling you... - Whatever.

Those blow-job lips

will be gagging for mickey.

Here, lads, group shot.

Let me see those f*** faces.

Bulger, that's a f*** face?

Did you get the fairy lights?

Oh God. Delete that.

I've such a double chin.

F***'s sake, Tom.

You need to relax, man.

Sorry. Relax.

- Chill.

It's time to party.

Nice shot.

I picked up a sniper and took all three of

their heads off. Boom, straight away.

It was incredible.

I'd never done that before.

I ran into the pit,

and one picked up the over shield.

And I jumped on his head three times.

Assassinated him. It was incredible.

Hash cookie?

- No. They give me the shits.

Up the lift, spin around, get the other in

the head. You're not listening, are you?

Dude, gimme that cookie.

I ate it.

- You ate the whole thing?

Jesus, man, that's like

the equivalent of like 40 joints.

You're gonna be so f***ed up.

You better hope Kate doesn't arrive

in the next hour. Seriously.

Sh*t.

Tom, are you OK?

- I can't. What?

Kate's here, by the way.

- Where?

She's coming now.

Hey, guys.

- Hey.

I have to go do stuff.

Hi, Kate. I love your hair.

- Come on, Bulger. Let's dance.

It's a great party.

I ate a cookie.

- Tom, are you stoned?

High? Me? No.

Yeah. But you made it. That's great.

- I didn't know you knew so many people.

Yeah. Thanks for coming.

- F*** you.

That's Jeff. Funny guy.

I need some water.

Oh, I missed you.

Kate, I missed you, too.

- I meant with the drink.

I can't stand him. He sits beside me

in English. He's such a f***ing idiot.

And that pubic beard.

He needs to shave.

White socks with black shoes.

I don't f***ing think so.

It ain't '92, aye?

Oh, man, look. Here she is.

Oh, she's so f***ing hot.

Look, look, look.

Shake it, baby. Yeah. Shake it.

Working it.

- She's gonna get it tonight.

There's more a chance

of me going on a diet. Seriously.

Things are about to get romantic.

Vinny, you're as romantic

as a wank in Funderland.

Lads, I need a wing man.

Go.

Hey.

- This is Tom. It's his party.

Hey. Thanks for coming.

- Yeah, thanks.

Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

You want your picture taken?

Yeah, you do. Come on.

Just a little over this way.

Ok? Yeah. Nice.

He's taking her picture.

- I see.

How are we?

- Hi, Dan. Thanks for coming.

Wouldn't have missed this.

Would not have missed it.

Nice decorations.

Quite a little shindig you got here.

You pulled out all the stops, didn't you?

Well done.

- Yeah.

Look. There are some of

your friends over there.

You want me to go?

- No, don't be silly.

Yeah, Tom, don't be silly.

You don't have to go.

Don't be silly.

- Fine.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

I'll kill you!

Look at the face on him.

- It's only Paul, you dope.

I'm gonna kill you, Tommy boy.

- Cop on, you dick.

F*** off.

Tom, are you OK?

Nice one, guys.

- Not our fault he can't take a joke.

I'll slap that smile off your face,

you knacker b*tch.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Oh babe, come over here. We'll have

a bit of a cat fight. OMG, little p*ssy.

Babe, your just a pigeon in a tacky frock.

- B*tch, I don't wanna talk, poodle face.

Babe, you're easier to get into than

community college, so leave.

F*** you.

- F*** you, Sarah.

Wait, the whole party already has.

That's enough, Bulger.

You and the prick just leave

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