Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot Page #4

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Company goes broke.

Insurance pays 12 million.

Are you listening?

Like Mr. Krueger. He burnt his

luncheonette down for the insurance.

They found the silver at home.

- Same thing here.

Your gun didn't get burned.

Mama knows! When we get home,

I'm gonna make you a fresh hamburger.

She doesn't like fast food.

- It's not that. - What?

Ross' face when you said,

we think you're an a**hole.

I gave it to him good.

Blew him away. - His ass was grass,

and I was the lawnmower.

You're really something, Mom.

I'm going to go up

and talk to these guys. Be right back.

We could do "good cop, bad cop"!

- I can handle it. Thanks.

Do you really want to go?

- You know I do. - Okay.

Go downstairs and sniff around.

I'll be upstairs with the big boys.

It's that cop.

Get in the side office

till he's gone. Move it!

Yeah, show the officer in.

Detective Joseph Bomuwski.

- Bomowski. - Good afternoon.

What can I do for you?

I'm investigating a warehouse fire,

a lot of weapons were destroyed.

You collected the insurance.

- Yes.

I hope there isn't any problem.

- What would say if we had evidence

that the weapons

weren't destroyed in the fire.

That we were the victim of a fraud.

You don't look like a victim,

you look more like a beneficiary.

Excuse me.

A woman out there

is claiming to be your mother. - No!

Sorry. - That's alright.

- They tried... - I'll handle this.

I say we work them over!

- Just wait outside.

It's almost under control.

- Joe...

they're being audited.

I know an audit when I see one.

Mom, later!

- It's the motive.

Gesundheit!

Lot of accusations flying around.

What do you want?

To look at the warehouse.

Any problem with that?

Do you have a warrant?

Or your mother?

- No.

But I've a good mind...

to give you

a spanking you won't forget.

Do I go to the warehouse

or do I get a warrant?

Give the detective

the address of the warehouse...

where we had that fire,

with the keys and whatever else.

Thanks for your time. Mom, let's go!

For now you can keep your pants on.

But just remember:

I'll be back!

What? Did I embarrass you?

Yeah, "I'll be back"!

I heard a cop say that.

- Terminators say that, not cops.

Get out here!

You idiots! Not only do you

let ten cases of guns get stolen

and screw up their return.

I've now got...

some cop's weird mother

threatening to spank me!

We'll take care of them. They won't

bother you. - They'd better not.

I'll get the plane tomorrow.

All you've got to do is make sure...

everyone keeps quiet for 24 hours.

Make it look like an accident.

Dont like the look of this.

It's dangerous, don't go.

It's not dangerous.

So I can go too?

- Oh no.

We're working so well together.

Right, and working well together

means looking out for each other.

What are you doing?

Answer me! What are you doing?

- What does it look like?

Looks like you're locking me in.

- Got my detective skills from you.

That's not gonna work.

Let's put that in here.

How does this thing go?

Hello, hello.

This is a police radio band.

Please identify yourself.

Tutti Bomowski, Joe's mom.

Hi, Mrs. Bomowski, this is John.

Thanks for the cookies. What's up?

I'm so embarrassed.

Somehow I managed to lock

myself in Joe's car. Is that silly?

No problem, Mrs. Bomowski.

You're going to look for a Slim Jim,

a long, thin piece of metal.

Shoot!

Jesus! - I don't want to live

in a world where my son locks me in.

Enough bullets in that gun?

- Quiet!

Because if you don't, I do.

Where did you get that?

- From your messy glove compartment.

Give it me.

- No.

Give it to me.

- No.

Mom, down!

Jump!

Is Pixie okay?

- She's okay.

Sh*t!

What are you going to do?

- Take the dog.

Get over there. - Where?

- Against the wall. - Okay.

Get back!

Stop! Police!

Get down!

- They're getting away!

Stop!

Or my mom will shoot!

A little high,

but not bad for a beginner.

Paulie! Start it up fast!

Turn around.

- I'm not going nowhere.

Take it easy!

- Great collar, Joe.

Think you could mess with my boy?

Gesundheit.

Dusty here.

Put it in that chair.

Alright, file this.

- I want to see a lawyer.

And a doctor.

- You're spreading germs.

Tell Ross me and my mother

cracked his case wide open.

Before you say anything...

What was that?

I'm just happy you've unlocked

those hidden feelings. - Feelings?

What do you mean? - The flowers.

I've never seen so many roses.

I don't believe it.

- What?

She's always got to interfere.

Drives me crazy! - What?

It was my mom.

You mean you didn't send the roses?

Of course I didn't.

I didn't mean it...

Mom, get your

senior citizen's butt in here!

What?

Dont say a word!

Something about Gwen?

- I want to talk to you!

No need to shout.

- This is my house.

I know this is hard for you,

but I've drawn up a list of rules.

I don't like the tone of your voice.

Rule no. 1:
Never say

you don't like the tone of my voice!

Rule no. 2...

You've written a list?

- Yes, and don't interrupt.

No. 2:

Dont interfere with my love life.

She didn't like the flowers?

- They were a big hit!

things from when I was a kid!

Just a minute...

- This is non-negotiable.

safety message:
No driving!

the most important meal. And 9:

The photos stay in New Jersey.

Anything else?

and treat me like a human being.

You can't treat me like this.

- Yes, I can. Think about it.

You think making me follow

these rules will improve your life?

I'm not listening.

- I'll tell you what your problem is.

Rule no. 11:
Dont tell me

what my problem is. I know what it is.

An old lady with a dog.

You don't love enough. If someone

gets close, you shut them out.

Like me and Gwen.

- You see this?

She turned into Or. Ruth!

It scares you that Gwen loves you.

When you meet someone special,

you should grab hold of them.

What are you talking about?

- About waking up...

and finding you're 60 years old...

in a little apartment

all by yourself, wishing you had...

someone as special as Gwen.

She's right.

- She's really upset.

Finished?

For your information:

I didn't dump Gwen, she dumped me.

Gwen, I just...

I just called to say you're special.

Oh Christ, that's ridiculous.

I just called...

to say that you're so special.

And when you meet

someone special, you should...

grab hold.

You should grab hold of them.

Oh, come on!

Just do it right.

When you meet someone special,

you should grab hold of them. - Joe?

What are you doing here so late?

Just catching up on paperwork.

I had to pick some stuff up.

Want to catch up on paperwork, too?

Sure.

To paperwork.

Look...

I'm sorry that I hit you.

I was just

disappointed about the flowers.

I deserved to get hit.

I made a mess of everything.

I wish I'd sent you the flowers.

Really?

You're so special.

When you meet

someone as special as you,

you should grab them.

Otherwise, one morning

you'll wake up and you're 60,

living alone in a little apartment.

And you wish...

you had the chance

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