Storks Page #3

Synopsis: Storks deliver babies...or at least they used to. Now they deliver packages for global internet giant Cornerstore.com. Junior, the company's top delivery stork, is about to be promoted when he accidentally activates the Baby Making Machine, producing an adorable and wholly unauthorized baby girl. Desperate to deliver this bundle of trouble before the boss gets wise, Junior and his friend Tulip, the only human on Stork Mountain, race to make their first-ever baby drop - in a wild and revealing journey that could make more than one family whole and restore the storks' true mission in the world.
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  3 wins & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
56
Rotten Tomatoes:
64%
PG
Year:
2016
87 min
$72,655,779
Website
4,872 Views


Just a brief exposure

to baby cuteness can ruin your life.

Remember Jasper?

Hmm. I'm trying to put my finger on it.

I can't think of who...

You're being sarcastic because

he changed the course of your life.

- That's right.

- Yeah.

Huh. How about this?

Huh. All right, Storkcon is on Monday.

Today is Friday.

If I can just deliver this thing by then,

I can still be named boss.

Gardner family, here I come!

But your wing's broken. You can't...

Make a plan! Stick to the plan!

Always deliver!

I'll never fly again!

What's that?

Hmm? What's what?

That. Right there.

Uh... Oh, that? No.

That's nothing.

Looks like an airplane.

Well, it kind of is an airplane, I guess.

Great! I'll use it.

Oh, well, it kind of took me a long

time to make, like years and years...

Great. All leading to this moment.

I'm saving it for something else.

- For what?

- Hmm?

What were you gonna use it for?

Uh, it's my dream to deliver packages

for Cornerstore.com.

Oh, well, hey there, kid.

Now's your chance.

- Uh, I don't know.

- Yeah.

I don't even know if it flies.

Eh, uh...

You know what?

Yeah, you can use it.

Let's deliver this baby.

Are you sure though?

- Uh...

- All right, let's do it!

Okay, great.

Let me show you how to fly this.

Um, hello? I'm a bird.

I'm pretty sure I know how to...

I was wrong! I was immediately wrong!

Of course, the autopilot button.

That makes perfect sense.

I knew that. I was testing you.

Oh, you were testing me

on a thing that I made.

- That's correct.

- Is your seat wet?

Yep. That's my urine.

I peed in the seat when we were falling.

Whoo. What else do you want to talk about?

My baby.

Now, I really think you're

gonna love this one, Becky.

I think we found you a good one.

Yeah, when we saw this, we looked

at each other and we were like, "Wow."

"This is theirs." Yeah.

- And it's a fixer-upper...

- Yeah. It is.

...which I know we weren't looking for.

But at least it's not a fixer-downer.

Oh, honey, can you just...

- Can you hold one second?

- Yeah, can you?

- You're up. You're up.

- What? No, it's not my turn.

- You're up, now. You're up.

- It can't be.

So you want a panic room, okay.

Uh...

Nate?

What?

Nate?

Hey there, buddy.

Whatcha doin' here?

I'm preparing.

Right, you're preparing.

For what?

To get my baby brother from the storks.

Right.

Hey, I love your school encourages

imagination over actual learning,

- but the storks don't deliver anymore.

- I know.

They haven't done that in, like, forever.

Dad, you don't have to help me at all.

This is a guilt-free pass for you

to go back inside and work.

Just go.

- Go. Shoo, shoo, Dad. Go.

- What?

Okay, all right. Fine.

You blink and I'll be in college.

What was that?

Hmm? No, I'm just walking, working.

- I didn't say anything. You should just...

- Okay.

Remember when I was a baby?

It felt like one minute ago?

- What?

- What? Hmm?

Fine.

Dad, you'll be my idol

for, like, two more years.

Okay, I heard that one.

Okay. All right, look.

Five minutes. That's all the time I have

is five minutes, and then we stop.

Yeah, five minutes.

Five minutes, and then...

We stop.

Five minutes and then we stop.

What?

Powder?

Baby powder.

Homing pigeon powers activate!

Ah!

Baby, what are we gonna call you, baby?

This is crazy. We are delivering a baby!

No, we are delivering a package.

Maybe we should name it

instead of calling it "the package."

We do not name the package, okay?

It's very simple.

We make a plan. Stick to the plan.

Always deliver.

And then we get back to Storkcon

so the board can name me boss.

Oh, it's so exciting.

What can we expect from boss Junior?

Oh, you know that's top secret.

- You can tell me. Come on.

- It's gonna be big!

Like what? Like, what, how big?

Like, what are you gonna do?

I prefer not to talk about it right now.

- Do you not know?

- What?

- Oh, my gosh. You don't know.

- I know.

If you don't know,

then why do you wanna be boss?

- I know.

- You don't.

Oh, man,

you laugh when you're uncomfortable.

No.

- Am I pushing your buttons?

- Uh, no.

- Yes, I am.

- Nah. No.

- Beep, beep, boop, boop...

- No, those aren't even where my buttons

would be if I had buttons.

- Beep, beep, boop, boop...

- So, nice try.

I am programming you to tell me

why you want to be boss.

I love robots, so this is fun.

We're having a good time together.

Why do you wanna be boss?

Why do you wanna be boss?

Back off!

Oh, God! No!

No, no, no!

Wow! Well, that was funny.

You almost died.

I guess the lesson we learned today is

don't ask me why I want to be boss, right?

Okay, good talk.

Good talk.

That didn't sound happy.

Yeah, well, the package

will be delivered soon enough.

Uh...

I really think that

we should check that out, you know.

Ah, just relax.

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

Ah, you see, the package has

cried itself gently to sleep.

I can't take it!

Can't help body movements! Must open pod!

Wait! No!

The pod! Gotta open the pod!

Oh, no! No, no, no! Come back! Come back!

- Be there in a jiff!

- Pull yourself together!

- Fly this plane!

- Gotta open the pod!

We're gonna die!

Well, at least the baby's quiet.

Are you out of your mind?

A baby cries and you crash a plane?

Hey, hey, hey! I was busy with the pod!

Why didn't you turn on the autopilot?

I was panicking! Listen to me, Tulip.

- You crashed a plane, did you hear me?

- The baby is quiet.

- You crashed a plane!

- The baby is quiet!

- The baby is quiet?

- The baby is quiet!

- Why didn't you say anything?

- Oh, no!

Why is it quiet?

Open the pod! Open the pod!

Open the pod! Open the pod!

How do you open this thing?

How do you open it? Come on!

Aw.

Oh, my gosh.

You know what I just realized?

This baby and I have the same birthday.

Oh, yeah. I don't care.

You crashed the plane.

I don't need you anymore.

I'm going to deliver

the package myself. Goodbye.

What? You're breaking up the team?

"Team"? What is wrong with you?

You and I are not a team. We are nothing.

There is no "we."

This is all your fault. This.

This. This!

All of this.

A good day to you, Orphan Tulip.

A good day.

Well, just so you know, I'll be fine.

I'm the most popular person

in the entire Letter Sorting department.

- I can't hear you!

- I said that...

Yeah, it just sounds

like "Blah, blah, blah,"

but mixed with crying.

But that's not what I'm...

Junior, come here.

I can't hear what you're saying,

but I assume it's lame.

I said I'm the most popular person...

Lame!

Tulip's dumb.

There's a reason she doesn't fit in.

If you're smart enough to build a plane,

then who wrecks one?

I'm gonna deliver this package

and be back at Stork Mountain in no time.

Oh, great. Now I'm surrounded by wolves!

What are you gonna do,

knock me unconscious?

Perfect!

Oh, seriously?

I'm not talking to you. I'm mad at you!

Oh, no. Really? What am I gonna do?

We are done! This conversation is over.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

Nicholas Stoller

Nicholas Stoller (born 19 March 1976) is a British-American filmmaker. He is known mainly for directing the 2008 comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall, its 2010 spin-off/sequel, Get Him to the Greek, Neighbors (2014), its 2016 sequel Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, co-writing and executive producing The Muppets and Muppets Most Wanted, and writing and directing Storks (2016). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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