Strange Bedfellows Page #8

We're f***ed.

Well, that's the tightest box

I've been jammed into for years.

Gentlemen,

Iet's go find ourselves

some farm boys.

You two gorgeous men

couldn't tell me

where I could find

Ralph and Vince, could you?

(man)

I think they're in there.

Dad?

Just give me

five mnutes, okay?

Five mnutes.

There's Vince!

Vincent,

pretty little man.

Look who's here.

(Ralph)

Excuse me.

Excuse me, everyone.

Can I have your attention

for a mnute?

Uh...

now, I know some of you

are wondering what's going on.

And others have

probably made up their mnds

already.

But for starters,

I'd like you to welcome

some friends ofVince and mne

from Sydney.

G'day.

(Ralph)

They're all wonderful people

who I know

you're going to love

when you get to know 'em.

Okay.

Now, I understand there's been

a bit of speculation around town

about Vince Hopgood and myself.

Well, it's nobody's business

but ours,

what goes on

between Vince and I.

We've been mates

since we were kids.

Most of you have known us

all your lives.

Crikey, we've lived and worked

amongst you for years.

That's what you should be

judging us by,

not about what may or may not

happen between us in private.

Vince has been part

of every important event

in my life.

He was my best man.

He was there

when my daughter was born...

and when my wife, Helen,

passed away.

He was a tower of strength

to me.

See, it doesn't matter

who you are;

if you have one real friend

in this life,

one person you can truly trust,

then you're very lucky indeed.

Vince Hopgood has been

the best mate a man could have.

And, yes, for anyone

out there who's interested,

I love him.

I'm not ashamed

to admt it.

Did you just grab my ass?

Yeah, well,

I'm only human.

I never thought for one moment

they were gay.

Nah, not a chance.

Mateship's

a wonderful thing.

Ladies and gentlemen,

take your partners

for the ladies' choice.

[upbeat music]

Oh, gee.

My oh gee.

Well, yeah, oh, gee.

Why I love that girl.

Father, could I have

the pleasure of this dance?

Just kidding.

[laughs]

Oh, hold me,

baby, squeeze me.

Never let me go.

Oh, I'm not taking chances.

I don't know what's going on

with you and Vince,

Dad, but you're amazing.

Hey.

I love you, sweetheart.

I love you, Dad.

Oh.

Do you mnd

if I dance with this girl?

Be my guest.

But save a dance for me.

Both of you.

So where's the boyfriend?

Mm-hmm.

Ah.

Oh.

Ah! Ha ha!

Gentlemen.

Oh, Russell.

Russell.

Now, I'm going to be

brutally honest with you guys.

After our meeting today,

I have to say

I was convinced

that you two were nothing more

than a pair of crimnal jokers.

Really?

Who deserve the full weight

of the law thrown at them.

But tonight, I witnessed

something quite special:

what appeared to be an honesty

and a tolerance

that, sadly, is very rarely

displayed these days.

And then Faith came

and talked with me.

And, well, after what she said,

I don't believe

I'm likely to encounter

a tighter bond

or a stronger love

between two men

for many a day to come.

So listen.

Just stop

the silly charades, eh?

Care for each other.

If more people

in the world did that,

well, the world would be

a far sweeter place,

don't you think?

Thank you, Russell.

And, Mr. Hopwood,

in future, get yourself

a bloody good accountant.

And good luck

to the both of yous.

Thanks, mate.

Hello, boys.

Having a fun evening?

(Vince)

Faith?

Why?

Well, no one likes

the tax department.

Oh!

Mr. Williams,

one thing.

My car needs a couple of things

doing to it.

Would that be possible?

Oh, of course, Faith.

Just drop it in.

Be my pleasure.

And, Mr. Hopgood.

I've heard a whisper

that some of the city cinemas

have got a thing

called a gold pass.

Do you have

those sort of things?

I'll make you one, Faith.

Oh, Mr. Hopgood,

you spoil me.

She is a piece of work.

Women, mate--they're

a different breed of cattle.

In a totally different

paddock.

Yeah, well,

we got through this.

We'll get through that.

Fabulous!

I'm not taking chances,

because I love her.

Hey, Ralph.

Half the people in town

still think I'm gay, right?

What do you reckon--

Vinnie's Massage Parlor?

Strictly for women only.

Eric will be furious.

Hey, Vince.

Huh?

You know, you do have

a nice ass.

What, this old thing?

Why I love that girl.

Love that girl.

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