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Strange Bedfellows Page #7
Don't I, Ralph?
Apparently.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
G'day.
Cheerio.
Bye-bye.
All in all,
that went really well.
Oh, yeah, really well.
What about this?
Oh, well--
we're really late.
[engine sputters]
(Ralph)
And again.
[engine rumbling]
Quick, the door!
(Carla)
Dad, are you there?
Yeah, he's gone.
So this is the place
where I grew up.
All right!
You did it, Ralphie.
Right, all now we get to do
is get to the hall in one piece
and find out
if Stan saw anything
when he dropped
the tomatoes off.
And if he did,
I'll come up with an excuse.
Yeah, you'll come up
with an excuse.
Like what?
(Vince)
I'll think of something.
The hand brake.
[hoedown music]
What a day, hey, Ralphie?
At least now we can relax
among our friends,
just be our normal
charmng selves.
Hello, everybody!
Comng through!
Something yummy!
Something fruity
and full of cream!
Oh, and a couple of cakes,
as well.
God, he's good.
He's better
than the real thing.
Oh, there's Stan.
I'm going to go
and talk to him.
I'm going to find Carla.
How was Sydney?
Sydney...
was okay.
So why did you go?
I was--
Was it business?
Business,
yeah, that's it.
Business.
Oh, Stan, when you got
a mnute, mate--
Did you get
the tomatoes?
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Hey, Vonnie.
for helping us out today.
That's okay, Vince.
No, I really want
to thank you--
you know, like,
take you out to dinner.
Maybe the little restaurant
in the motel
up in Beachworth.
Oh, that's very sweet
of you, Vince,
but it really
isn't necessary.
Yes, it is.
What about lunch, then?
Let me buy you lunch.
[laughs]
Oh, I know:
a picnic.Nice little picnic
in the countryside,
you and me.
Oh, that's very sweet
of you, Vince,
but what about Ralph?
What about Ralph?
What's it got to do
with Ralph?
Well, he's your--
well, you two are gay.
Aren't you?
Me gay?
No, no, no,
I'm not gay.
I'm, uh...
bisexual, you see.
(Yvonne)
Oh.
Yeah, I've been
my whole life.
Oh, Russell.
Didn't realize
you were still in town.
Yes, I've got another interview
in the area Monday,
so I thought,
"What the hell?"
Stay on,
enjoy the ball.
Splendid.
Lot of weirdos in Sydney.
(Stan)
Saw you two together
this afternoon.
Didn't want to interrupt.
(man)
I know what you two
have been up to.
Vince had dragged you into one
of his business schemes.
Am I right?
Yeah, well, I really can't
talk about--
Ralph.
Hi, fellas.
What?
What?
Oh, sweetheart,
look who's here.
Oh, fabulous.
[quietly]
Oh, f***.
What's he doing here?
How the hell
would I know?
Maybe he likes to dance.
This is not good, Vince.
I'll tell you
what I do know:
tonight, we're going
to be gay.
Bullshit.
Carla's going to be here
with her boyfriend.
I'm not going to be anything
in front of them.
Need I remnd you, Ralph,
that we're not gay,
we go to jail, pal.
Tax evasion,
providing false information,
bad taste,
God knows what.
Vince, this is the last time
I ever let you talk me
into anything.
Mate, you were great today.
That's why I know we can
pull this off tonight.
Come on.
(man)
I fare thee well.
I fare thee well.
I fare thee we-e-e-e-ll.
I fare thee well.
I fare thee well.
I fare thee we-e-e-e-ll.
[applause]
Thank you!
What would they be
talking about?
He's probably
telling them we're gay.
Sh*t.
Maybe the boys
are telling him we're not.
Sh*t.
Do you expect
any more fires this summer?
Not two years
in a row, no.
Ralph and Vince
are in the fire brigade.
Really?
We've got
to do something gay.
(man)
Okay, boys and girls.
Here's an oldie but a goodie.
[upbeat music]
They're playing our song.
Dance--you know,
like at the club.
Come on.
No bloody way.
My oh me oh.
I go wild,
and then I have to do
the samba
and La Bamba.
Now, I'm not
the kind of person
with a passionate persuasion
for dancin'
or romancin'.
But I give in to the rhythm,
and my feet follow
the beatin' of my heart.
Whoa, oh.
When my baby,
when my baby smiles at me,
I go to Rio...
de Janeiro.
I'm a salsa fellow.
When my baby smiles at me,
the sun
lightens up my life.
And am I free at last.
What a blast.
Yee-ha-hoo!
Whoa, oh.
When my baby,
when my baby smiles at me,
I feel like Tarzan
of the jungle
there on the hot sand
and in a bungalow
while monkeys play above-a.
We make love-a.
Now, I'm not the type
to let vibrations
trigger my imagination easily.
You know that's just not me.
I turn into a tiger
every time I get beside the
one I love.
Your dad's a circus.
Rio, Rio, Rio, hey!
[silence]
How about that,
ladies and gentlemen?
Can I swing a shoe or what?
Carla.
(man)
"Rye whiskey, rye whiskey,
rye whiskey," I cry.
If I don't get
rye whiskey...
So, Vince.
What the hell was that?
Well, if whiskey
was a river...
Well, uh, Eric
and Ralph and I thought
it would be a good idea
if we did a dance routine.
"Rye whiskey, rye whiskey,
rye whiskey," I cry.
Why?
If I don't get
rye whiskey...
Entertainment?
Oh,
there's Vonnie.
Vincent.
Faith.
You know, Mr. Hopwood,
with moves like those,
one could be forgiven
for believing...
that you and Mr. Williams
really were gay.
[laughs]
Vincent, I know everything.
(Ralph)
Carla.
Carla.
Where are you off to,
sweetheart?
Dad, what on Earth
is going on?
I come home.
You won't even
let me in the house.
I go off around town,
and people are saying
that you and Vince...
are gay.
And then I go home,
and the house
is completely weird.
Then I come here,
and you and Vince
and everybody's
laughing at you.
Oh, God.
Where do I begin?
Being gay?
Well, uh...
Dad, are you gay?
(Ralph)
Shh!
Now is not a good time.
Carla.
Dad, I don't want this,
you know.
You're my father,
for God's sake.
I don't want people
Iaughing at you.
Sweetie, it's fine.
You don't know what it's like.
Yes, I do.
behind your back.
And you don't know the crap
that gay people go through.
Carla, I do.
Look, sweetheart.
I can't explain
what's happening here--
not right now, anyway.
But I know what
you're talking about.
I was--I was as guilty
of all that business
as anybody.
And I know how we all feel
about people like that.
People like what?
Well...
Hello.
Hi.
Dad, I want you
to meet Peta.
It's nice
to meet you.
Yeah.
Ralph, we got to talk.
What?
Hi, Carla.
(Ralph)
Wait; I'll be back.
So where's the boyfriend?
This better be important.
Oh, it is.
It's important.
Faith knows.
No, no, no,
she knows everything.
I don't know how she does,
but she does.
I've got to talk to Carla.
No, mate,
we can get through this.
Vince, we're f***ed.
Now, look, I'll keep Faith
away from Russell.
You come up with an excuse
for the dancing.
The ball will be finished,
and then we're done.
[motorcycle engines roaring]
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"Strange Bedfellows" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/strange_bedfellows_18952>.
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