Strange Brew Page #4

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Pam

Well, there's no staff, so I guess there's no reason to have a

cafeteria.

Bob

I told you we brought too many donuts. Geez, this is spooky.

Doug

It's like a ghost town. [Tickles Bob's ribs and shouts Boo!, making

Bob jump and drop the donuts]

Bob

Take off, eh?

[Doug howls like a wolf]

Doug

Look out, eh?

Pam

The lights don't work!

Bob [checking vending machines]

Hey, check this out! There's sandwiches and smokes in these

machines, eh?

Doug

Here's an old Galactic Border Patrol game!

Bob

Hey, there's Joe Louie, and, geez, is that tuna or what?

Doug

Plugs aren't working.

Bob

Hey give me some quarters will you, I'm going to have chocolate milk.

Doug

Forget it hoser, the power's turned off.

Pam

Came on guys, let's go.

Doug

Hey, there's a door here! [tries it] It's locked. Hey Pam, you got a

credit card?

Bob

Pam, you got a credit card?

Pam

Well, yeah, I do.

Bob

She's got a credit card!

Doug

Ok give it to me, I need it!

Bob

He needs your credit card.

[Pam gives her credit card to Bob]

Bob

Ok coming credit card! Geez, travel, eh? [gives card to Doug] Ok,

here you go.

Doug

Beauty.

Bob

Like he once got our dead battery going by mixing bird feces and spit,

cause there's like acid in it. So, you travel quite a bit?

[Doug opens door and turns power back on. The vending machines spit

out all their contents and the video games turn on]

Bob

Beauty! Look at the machines! Jackpot!

Pam [to Doug]

How'd you do that?

Doug

Well, I know some stuff about electricity, eh?

Bob:
[grabs stuff from floor] Here's a chocolate! [throws a milk to

Doug] Cheers! [starts to drink chocolate milk]

Doug

[looks at carton] Geez, hoser, this is four months old!

[cut to computer room, where an alarm is going off]

Smith

What is it?

Ted

The power is on in the old cafeteria.

Smith

Our nosey little friends?

Ted

It must be them.

Smith

I think it's time the little lady and I had a chat.

[cut back to cafeteria]

Bob

Sorry I ralphed, Pam.

Pam

You shouldn't have had that chocolate milk.

Bob

I know. Sorry about your sweater. You can take it out of my pay if

you want.

Pam

That's ok.

Bob

Geez, you're real nice. If I didn't have puke breath I'd kiss you.

Doug

Hey Pam! Your name's on this machine! You got to level six, I only got

to level five. Beauty playing.

Pam

I've never played that game before.

Doug

Well, your name's right here. Not a bad score either.

Pam

21-10-59. That's my birthdate! October 21st, 1959.

[Video game beeps]

Doug

Hey! My name's gone! Who's John Elsinore?

Pam

My father!

Bob

Fresh as a daisy! Hey can I play?

Doug

Sure. Ow! [takes hand from machine] This things hot! You'd better kill

this thing! Hey, the plug's glowing! [kick plug out, turning off

machine]

[LaRose enters]

LaRose

Ms. Elsinore?

Bob

Hey Rosie!

LaRose

Mr. Smith is waiting for you.

Pam

Where is he?

LaRose

In the brewery room. I can show you the way.

Pam

No thanks, it's ok. I can find my way myself. See you guys later.

Bob

Hey thanks for the jobs, eh?

Doug

Yeah, we'll work real hard, eh?

Bob

Hey Rosie! Will you sign this hockey card? I brought it from home.

LaRose

Where'd you get that?

Bob

Well, I collect them, but I already had the gum, eh? Sign it to Bob

McKenzie, my good pal. Put Rosie LaRose, I know you like it when

people call you Rosie.

Doug

Hey, how'd Pam's dad die?

LaRose

He was electrocuted.

Bob [to Doug]

Take off, will you? He's signing my card. Hey that was a great hat

trick you had against Czechoslovakia, eh? Sorry about your nervous

breakdown. Guess it kind of screwed up your career, eh?

Doug

You had a nervous breakdown, huh? Me too, when he was born.

Bob

Take off, you hoser.

Doug

You take off, you knob.

[Bob and Doug spit at each other]

[cut to brewery room]

Smith

Good morning, Miss Elsinore! I'm brewmeister Smith. My condolences to

you on the loss of your father.

Pam

I appreciate your sympathy, but I came here to talk about my plans for

the brewery. But it's really YOUR brewery now, isn't it.

Smith

Well, I'm very flattered that you think I'm that important, but of

course it's not true. I'm just an employee.

Pam

Oh, really? Well, who employed you to install surveillance cameras?

Smith

Well, you see, the brewery business has become very competitive these

days, so security is extremely important.

Pam

What made this brewery great is that my father ran it as a family

business. I'm afraid you have two weeks notice, Mr. Smith.

Smith

You must be out of your mind, young lady! It takes experience to run

a brewery, and you have none!

Pam

I don't plan on doing it alone.

[cut to computer room]

Claude [to Smith]

All right, let's not get excited. I'm the president of the company,

I'll just hire you back. She has no right...

Smith

She HAS the right. She has 51%. That's all the right she needs.

Claude

You're right. Well, what are we going to do?

Smith

I have a plan. [goes to desk and gets tranquilizer guns]

Claude

Oh, no. No rough stuff. That was our deal. I mean, we had a deal. I

don't have the stomach for it.

Smith

You stinking hypocrite! You murdered your own brother! You had the

stomach for that!

Claude

The second time. The second time I murdered him. You murdered him

first. He was already dead when I killed him. I can't go through

with that again. There'll be police, there'll be questions. I'll

crack, I know I will!

Smith

[slaps Claude repeatedly] Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! We are not going

to kill anyone.

Ted

Excuse me, brewmeister. We are ready for the exercises.

Smith

Good.

Claude

You're going to conduct those experiments? With her walking through

the brewery? Suppose she sees...

[Smith hauls Claude up by his ear]

Smith

Where are the fools with the mouse?

Ted

They're with Henry Green.

Smith

Put them in the game. Take it to level 5.

Ted

Level 5, sir?

Smith

LEVEL 5!!

Claude

Do it, do it!

[Smith drops Claude and gives him a gun]

Smith

Take this--we have work to do.

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[SCENE ELEVEN -- The hockey rink]

LaRose

I have to go through with this, but don't worry. You won't get hurt--

your equipment should protect you.

Bob

Being on the same team as you is all the padding I need, Rosie.

LaRose [to Doug]

Hey, are you ok?

Bob

Hey hoser, you ok?

Doug

[breathing heavily] I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side

of the Force, you knob!

Bob

He saw Jedi seventeen times. Beauty, eh?

[Loudspeakers blare music]

LaRose

Better go to your goals.

[Bob and Doug go to their respective goals]

Bob [to LaRose]

Have a good game, eh?

[Loudspeakers blare and the puck drops down. The white team clobbers

the black team and races toward Doug. Music blares and white team

stops]

Doug

The power of the Force stopped you, you hosers!

[Black team gets up and skates toward Bob]

Bob

Ok, cover your shorts. Don't get deep. Stick on the ice.

[Black team clobbers Bob, then rejoins white team at center ice]

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