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Strange Brew Page #7
- PG
- Year:
- 1983
- 90 min
- 619 Views
Inspector
Really?
Claude
Oh yes, I never forget a thing.
Inspector
Well, that might be useful in my investigation of this case...
Claude
Well, feel free to call on me at any time.
[They walk through hallway.]
Inspector
My compliments on the many fine things you have in your home.
Claude
Well, thank you.
Inspector [pointing to statue]
Bonaparte?
Claude
Uh, Napoleon actually.
Inspector
Oh. What does a thing like that cost?
Claude
Oh, four or five thousand dollars. I don't remember.
Inspector [pointing to another statue]
Who chiseled this?
Claude
It was some...sculptor. I can't remember. I'm terrible on names...
Inspector
I thought you said you had a photographic memory?
Claude
Well, normally I would...but I, uh...
[Claude's wife enters.]
Claude's wife
Darling!
Claude
Ah! My wife.
Claude's wife
You didn't tell me we had company!
Claude
I think you know the inspector, dear...
Claude's wife
Hello...
Claude
My wife...
Claude's wife
How is she?
Claude
She's about the same, I'm afraid.
Claude's wife
I don't know what's wrong with her. She hasn't said a word since the
accident. I hope it's not something I've done...
Claude
No, no, or course not. Well, the inspector has to leave...
Claude's wife
Oh, wouldn't you like a drink or something?
Claude
No, he wouldn't. He'd love to, but he has to run.
Claude's wife
Oh.
Inspector
Right. I hope she'll be able to testify tomorrow morning.
Claude
Who? Oh! Yes. We hope so.
Inspector
Good night.
Claude's wife
Bye.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[SCENE THIRTEEN -- Jail cell]
Doug [to cons]
Chimp here does the killing [points to Bob]. I don't like to kill. I'm
the brains, eh? Like, we've got over five billion dollars in our
hideout, only some of the money is marked, eh, so we're not spending
it. We're just waiting.
Head con
Would you guys like a smoke?
Doug
No, eh? We want our lungs to be pink when they fry us! We told them we
didn't want a lawyer, eh? Chimp here'd probably just kill him
anyway...lawyers are for sucks!
Policeman 5
McKenzie brothers! You're lawyer's here!
[Bob and Doug run quickly from cell. Cons try to kill them.]
Policeman 5
You can talk in here.
Bob
Ok, eh?
Jack
Hi, I'm Jack Hawkland, your lawyer.
Doug
How's it going, eh?
Bob
I remember you from the office.
Jack
You're very observant. I'll make this as simple as possible. The two
of you have been charged with kidnapping under section 2471 of the
criminal code. The offense of kidnapping is comprised of two elements,
both of which must be satisfied before a conviction may lie. The first
element, Actus Reus, which was satisfied on October the tenth, 1983,
when you, Robert and Douglas McKenzie, did kidnap one Pamela
Elsinore...
Bob
Wait a second, like we didn't do it!
Doug
That's right, we're innocent!
Jack
If you're innocent, you've got nothing to fear... [they all begin
laughing.]
Bob
Beauty, eh?
Doug
We'll get off, eh?
[cut to computer room]
Ted
Exhibit A. It's an open a shut case. [Video tape shows people in Bob
and Doug's clothes shooting Pam and Henry, then loading their bodies
into kegs.] Should I time code it?
Smith
Yes. Now what about that missing disk? [Ted hits a button and video
shows Doug putting disk in his underwears.] How did he get the code?
Ted
Random chance.
Smith
That's impossible! Play it back. Give me magnification on the code
pad. [camera zooms in on pad, shows Doug's fingers hitting buttons.]
That's not our code! Get me the John Elsinore disk! [Ted tries to get
the disk, but it isn't there and all the others spit out.]
Ted
Ahhhh!
Smith
Look! Look at this! [monitor shows Smith murdering John Elsinore.
Fireball bounces around room.]
Ted
What the heck was that!?
Smith
There's no scientific explanation for it...so it's pointless to worry.
[Smith and Ted gather disks and count them.] 11, 12, 13...they knew
exactly what they were doing! They took the one disk that would
incriminate me!
Ted
What are we going to do now?
Smith
We will move toward Oktoberfest as planned, and I will not
underestimate our little friends again. [Smith leans on the world
map.]
Ted
Do you want me to light it up?
Smith
No.
----------------------------------------------------------------
[SCENE FOURTEEN -- the courtroom]
Jack
It's the press...I'll handle them. [He beats the reporters up with
karate, tossing one off the ledge.]
Reporter
Arrrgghhh!
Jack
THAT'S how you handle the press! [Female reporter attacks Jack, but he
beats her up, too.] We're late! Let's go!
Bob [to Doug]
Remind me to pay his bill on time...
Doug
Chuck Norris for the defense, eh? Beauty...
[They head for the courtroom. Cut to session.]
Jack
Your worship, I wish to plead my clients guilty to statutes 125 and 233
of the criminal code, and not guilty to all other charges due to mental
incompetence.
Prosecutor
Objection! You cannot split pleas like that!
Bob [to Doug]
Two bowls of split-plea soup to go, eh!? [Doug laughs, snorts, and his
nose starts to bleed.] You got a bleeding nose?
Doug
Yeah...
Bob
Your honor? Mr. Judge, sir...my brother has a bleeding nose. He needs
some Kleenex or something. [Doug tried to wipe his nose on Bob's
shirt.] Take off, eh!?
Judge [to clerk]
Clerk, please...
Bob
The clerk's going to get you some Kleenex...
[After time lapse, the video Ted fabricated is shown.]
Prosecutor [to Claude]
And this, sir, is the same tape that your engineer retrieved from the
video camera that monitors the activity in your brewery?
Claude
Yes, and I'd like to point out that this tape have not been tampered
with or edited in any way. It even has a time code on it, and those
are very difficult to fake.
Judge
For the benefit of the court, will you please explain 'time code'?
Claude
Just because I don't know what it is doesn't mean I'm lying!
[cut to Doug with HUGE ball of Kleenex on his nose]
Bob
Geez, it usually stops bleeding by now...are you ok?
Clerk [to bailiff]
This isn't working...we need something else...quick, a couple bullets.
Bob
Maybe we should call the Red Cross or something...
Doug
Good idea! Beauty! [he shoves bullets up nose.]
Bob and Doug
Beauty, clerk!
Judge
May I remind you two idiots that this is a court of law?
Bob
He's the one with the bleeding nose, I didn't do anything...
Judge
Proceed, counsellor.
Jack [to Smith]
Would you state your name and occupation, please?
Smith
Dr. B.M. Smith, resident head of psychiatry at the Royal Canadian
Institute for the Mentally Insane.
Jack
Now, Dr. Smith, we know you are familiar with this case. The victim,
Pamela Elsinore, is currently under your care at the R.C.I.M.I.
Smith
That is correct.
Jack
Dr. Smith, would you say that you are sufficiently familiar with the
defendants to give us a...preliminary diagnosis?
Smith
I am. I would say, without a doubt, that they suffer from paranoid
schizophrenia.
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"Strange Brew" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/strange_brew_745>.
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